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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Parent asked me to stop using the buggy

29 replies

Doonhamer · 26/05/2011 07:50

They want the 19month old child to "learn to walk longer distances so that we don't have to take a buggy out with s when we go shopping, plus we think that being in the buggy is hindering his development"

The only time he's in the buggy is if we wlak to school - a 3 mile round trip, partly along a quite busy road.
If we take a walk to the village shop or post office because he grabs sweeties and food and has tantrums if he walks to shopa dn I then try to get him out, he does this thing with his arms where he lifts them up so it's difficult to pick him up.
He sleeps in it sometimes too as he won't go in cot upstairs

So, IMO the safety of the child is paramount.
The parents say i need to "abide by their wishes in the way their child is brought up"
Anyone got any suggestions as to how I can approach this with parents

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TheOriginalFAB · 26/05/2011 08:02

19 months seems young to me to be out of a buggy.

Tell them the reasons why you feel he is safer still in the buggy and see what they say.

LaurieFairyCake · 26/05/2011 08:02

How far is the shop? Would he walk it on his own?

If he could and would I would say "when we walk to the village shop I won't take the buggy but I have to when going to school as it's 3 miles".

Don't get sucked into justifying your point of view,you don't need to. He's very little to be walking much more than a hundred yards.

Reality · 26/05/2011 08:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Northernlurker · 26/05/2011 08:05

Ask them to come with you on a school run so they can see how it goes. Then they can carry the child when he flakes out.
They sound a bit dim tbh - is this their first dc?

WizardofOs · 26/05/2011 08:14

My youngest is 3 and if I need to be somewhere quickly I still use a buggy ..... 19 months....ha ha! These things are easy to insist on when it's not them having to deal with it.

Original poster

Doonhamer · 26/05/2011 08:22

They ahve 2 older children ( 6 and 8). I don't want to put down too many of teh reasons they asked me to stop using the buggy as it might out me,and also the reasons were entirely selfish on their part.

The shop is about 1/2 mile maybe from my front door to teh shop front door - part of the problem their is ( the reason it's easier for me to have child in buggy at shop) is becasue the mum or dad take the child there and buy hims weets - every time they go in the shop they buy him them. So if I take him in and he's walking he has full on meltdown if I don't buy him sweets. he does the thing I said above with his arms he hits me, he screams and makes himself sick. So it is easier for me to take him in buggy

OP posts:

SarkyLady · 26/05/2011 08:24

My dc were out of the buggy at a young age when they were with me but our cm kept him in the buggy for a lot longer. She had other dc to look after and I would never have insisted that she do it my way.

My advice is that you say that you agree that it is s good idea to get the lo out the buggy as much as possible but that realistically this is not yet possible for the school run because you have to balance the needs of all the children in your care.

TheRealMBJ · 26/05/2011 08:27

My DS is 17mo and won't walk 20yards if he can help it. Unless, of course, it is along a busy main road and he can run into it .

They are being bonkers IMO. If they don't want to use the buggy, then they don't have to when he's with them.

ChippingIn · 26/05/2011 08:37

You are offering a service - if they don't like the service you are offering they can find a new CM. They're being ridiculous - simply tell them he is far too young to be walking a mile (round trip to the shops). End of.

scoutingthomas · 26/05/2011 08:42

My now 3YO was out of a buggy by 19months. I can't remember when he gave it up, but probably probably 18months, as his little sister was 5Months old then and I put her in the buggy instead of a sling.

My son walks MILES. Atleast 5 miles aday. But (1) he is unusual (in more ways than one, but that's a different story!) and (2) I have to be very careful WHERE he runs as he's only JUST getting the concept of road safety / personal safety.

Infact, I now have a sit and stand buggy where I can strap him in if neccessary (if I'm standing in line or if I need to concentrate on something othan than him!) There are times when it IS necessary to restrain a child.

I got the sit and stand after one occasion when DS (then 2.5Y) fell over, cut his knee and was SOAKING wet. He couldn't walk back to the car and it was EXTREMLY difficult to carry him, as well as pushing DD in the buggy.

Plus, I would suggest that dealing with a very active / wilful child who has yet to understand the implications of his actions is VERY exhausting and not something you would necessarily encourage.

My DS is SO fast. So Very fast and so strong. And (while he's getting better) I still dare not take my eyes off him, because if he's likely to bolt. And he's not like other children who 'toddler' - he sprints!

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/05/2011 08:53

3miles round trip is far too long for small toddler- yes he can start to walk and build up to 3 miles

also time factor - walking pushing a child in a buggy is much quicker than dragging screaming tired child along

i would say to parents that you need to use the buggy for some trips but that child would walk more when you can

TheRealMBJ · 26/05/2011 08:53

scoutingthomas could you link to your buggy, please?

WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 26/05/2011 08:58

My DD started going without the buggy by that age, and by 2.2 she basically didn't use a buggy at all as DS was born (we had a buggy board)

However, 3 miles, and on busy roads, no way. YOU are in loco parentis surely? So it should be your choice. This is about safety, not 'parenting choices'

scoutingthomas · 26/05/2011 08:58

my buggy

scoutingthomas · 26/05/2011 08:59

Agree with weird.

It's NOT about ability to walk, it's about safety.

bluebobbin · 26/05/2011 09:05

Yes, it is about safety - the safety of all the children not just boy wonder.

Original poster

Doonhamer · 26/05/2011 09:09

I don't mind walking him around where we live, theres a lot of grass and the roads on the place we live are relatively quiet and the vast majority of drivers on there are very pram/child/dog consicious too.

Its the walking to school and shop that I'm not keen to do, especially because its for the selfish reasons on the parents part (IMO anyway) and not because they are thinking of thewelfare of the child.

OP posts:

TheSkiingGardener · 26/05/2011 09:10

I think asking a CM to take sOmething like that into consideration would be fair. But demanding it independent of circumstances is unfair. I would approach them like that op. You will do it when you can but in XYZ situation it isn't fair on the other children.

Maryz · 26/05/2011 09:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thebody · 26/05/2011 09:38

i always walk the mindees if SAFE to do so.. this situation doesnt sound safe..

if their child runs in the road whose to blame.. you will be!!!

so stick to your guns.. your setting your rules.. these parents need to to understand that its the cms job to protect and safeguard ALL children in the setting not just one..

definatly much too young to walk all that way..silly sods!!!!

Laquitar · 26/05/2011 10:15

I agree that he is very young.

However if you have to do it then ask them to buy him a doll's buggy for him to push. He will walk faster and might even forget the sweets.

harrietthespook · 26/05/2011 10:36

THey need to employ a nanny if they are this hardline about stuff like that, end of story. It sounds like too long a walk and they seem to be showing absolutely no consideration towards you and the fact that you have several children to look after at once. Honestly I can't understand why parents don't get if they use a childcare service where there child is one of several (we have used nurseries too) they have to compromise.

Explain the problems you have with their suggestion at this stage GIVEN THE OTHER DEMANDS ON YOU but agree to keep trying periodically and to review it at a certain period of time in the future (like 24 months).

harrietthespook · 26/05/2011 10:41

if you are a nanny go with La Quitar's suggestion.

Laquitar · 26/05/2011 10:43

Oh i thought OP was a nanny.
What harrier said then.

Laquitar · 26/05/2011 10:44

harrier ??

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