paying someone to bring up there child full time - night and day

[Diggsylovesherdog]

I have just heard a husband and wife (he is the step father, she is from Thailand) are paying someone to look after their child full time (another asian lady, not British), they have arranged to visit the child now and again but do not want him living with the. The child is 8 years old. Is this legal?

What difference does it make that she's Thai?

I can't imagine its illegal, same as boarding school surely?

Do the child and carer not live in the house with the parents then?

Seems a bit odd. Have you heard this through the grapevine or directly?

Phone SS if you're worried.

Pootles - it does kind of make a difference because it is common in Thailand to leave children with other family members whilst you work in a city etc.

How is it not legal? They are paying for care - you can have your child live where-ever you want as long as they are safe.

Sadly, they don't even have to be happy.

Oh ok, fair do's! Didn't know that. It does sound sad, just not sure it would be illegal.

It makes no difference at all that she is Thai just gives the full picture.

No the carer does not live at home with the parents she has her own house and is not a registered child minder.
Surely bording school is different, you send your children there for an education, social skills and they are all regulated by various authorities etc etc.
This is just a lady who is looking after an 8year old boy full time, night and day for the money.

Now i think the fact she isn't registered is a problem. Not sure of rules but surely if she's being paid for childcare she must be registered?

Sure someone more knowledgeable will be along!

Private fostering is legal, but I think it needs to be registered with SS.

Its not illegal...why would it be. As long as the child is safe and looked after... thats it.

it may not be illegal but it doesn´t really sound right. if you are worried call ss for advise.

Yes, it should be registered as private fostering.
Child trafficking does happen, and if you are concerned you should report what you know.

The whole situation sounds very sad. And desparate - for the woman and child

Actually the family caring for the child DO need to register as private foster carers, or I'm sure it's not legal.

I hope that the foster carers genuinely care for the child and give him a good home. If those are his parents, it may well be the best thing that ever happened t him

It's the same as the nanny jobs you get from time to time where the nanny and the child/ren live in a separate accomodation with the nanny working 24/6.

I remember once there were a couple advertising for a nanny but the nanny and the twin babies would live round the corner in separate accomadation from the family home. made me lol as how can it be a family home if the kids live round the corner with the nanny.

Definitely, definitely need to be registered as private foster carer if looking after a child like this and for the child's sake you really must report to SServices pleasse!

I would wonder how willingly the mother has sent the child away, if the child isn't actually with a relative and it isn't to do with travelling into a city to work, and what kind of loving man does not have his wife's child in the family to raise as a step child, and if I were close would find a way to give her information about Women's Aid.

I think it might be a cultural thing. I worked in the past with a few nurses from the far east who sent their dc home to be cared for by a nanny. Would go and see their dc for a few weeks, every now and then.

Yes, but unless the mother is treating her marriage as work, this isn't the case, is it? And it wouldn't be a 'cultural thing' for the man, who is British. It sounds as if they have simply sent him to be unofficially fostered by someone else, in this country, because they don't want him living with them.

OP - do you know all this for fact, from the parents?

Not much parenting going on there.
Maybe he will get more love and affection from the carer???

I knew a couple who did this - she was Thai, he was British. They had children of their own, but her eldest never settled in UK. They sent her back to her Aunt in Thailand as she was a very disruptive element within the family. I did actually wonder if she was the wife's child, and not actually her sister's - maybe the wife took the girl on as her own to give her a better standard of life?

I did feel sorry for the child as the husband would do stuff with his blood children - take them to the park, the zoo, the seaside etc, but his wife's child was always excluded from these family fun things. Which probably explained the behaviour problems.