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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Non-sleeping charge (baby) - no idea what to do!

29 replies

OopsDoneItAgain · 12/05/2011 15:06

Hiya, I have a newish charge who is 11 months old who I have had for about 2 months now. She has 2 naps at home, an hour and a half morning and aternoon. However, with me (3 days a week) she just fights it completely and Im lucky if I can get her to sleep an hour in total. Often it is less than that and she is just shattered all day. The room is dark, its quiet, cot seems fine, she has her dummy as at home. I can't work out why not.

But also, she does not EVER fall asleep in the car or in the buggy(confirmed by mum) so that isn't an option either. Im finding a tired non-sleeping baby hard going! I never know when she actually will sleep so we can end up at home all day just in case.

Any advice would be really helpful. Is it just still early days for her perhaps?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

AMYJ1234 · 12/05/2011 15:14

I find that although they may not use a trolley to sleep in at home, they may do it as part of their routine at yours. Also have you tried a blanket from home or something with mums scent/perfume on? Another tip is to take them to playgroup, tire the baby out and they will probably be desperate for a well earned sleep!!

BradfordMum · 12/05/2011 16:14

I had a little one like that!
He was dreadful but I used to scatter cushions on the floor when I saw he was getting tired, and eventually he would rest in one and go to sleep.
It took aces weeks but in the end, he'd pull cushions down to rest on and just drifted off in amongst the toys and other kiddies playing!

5318008 · 12/05/2011 16:21

yy I think that it's still early days; the child WILL feel secure enough to nap or sleep at yours eventually

(top tip - in buggy, with the sun in their eyes)

oh, and make sure that you go and about to usual groups and activities for your sake as well as the children's

RitaMorgan · 12/05/2011 16:31

Are you getting her down soon enough? My ds has a very small window for being able to fall asleep and it he's up for too long he can't nap.

5318008 · 12/05/2011 16:38

yy Rita - as you become more familiar with the child you will be able to read the body language and intuit/anticipate

Original poster

OopsDoneItAgain · 12/05/2011 20:04

Thanks for all the comments/tips, I thought I was recognising the cues, but who knows! Fingers crossed it happens eventually. She can't hold out forever (I hope!)

OP posts:

nannynick · 12/05/2011 21:52

I find that children often sleep differently when in my care vs their parents care. Is it really an issue? Are they still sleeping when at home?
Sure it's a pain for you but it shouldn't stop you doing your usual things.

Children are different when in someone else's care... they will eventually find their own way of letting you know their needs and may well have a completely different sleep pattern on days you have them.

Sorry not being of help am I - well maybe I am by reminding you that a routine that works at home, may not work when elsewhere, or even at home in the care of someone else.

frakyouveryverymuch · 13/05/2011 06:21

I agree with nick. Often charges will sleep earlier and longer for nannies/CMs than for parents. I like to think it's because we're knackering them with all the fun activities, outings and concentrated attention!

But if you're looking to the clock for when your charge 'should' be napping according to their routine bear in mind their routine may be very different with you and if she's the sort of baby to get easily overstimulated and finds it hard to wind down if you muss the window maybe start looking for the signals earlier on?

Original poster

OopsDoneItAgain · 13/05/2011 08:12

nannynick - well, tbh it is a bit of an issue since she is clearly tired and unhappy with me. I can't just go about my business with a wailing child in a buggy, that doesnt seem fair on her. Plus shes so strung out when she gets home mum puts her to bed early, but then of course has a baby awake at 5 am (as well as a night feed apparently) which isnt fun for her on working days.

frakyou- unfortunately can't try her earlier because of the school run, but yes, often she seems over tired.

Go with the flow and hope she settles I guess!

OP posts:

frakyouveryverymuch · 13/05/2011 08:50

Will she sleep in a sling? That way you can so the school run while she sleeps.

The other option is to try and pace things more so she doesn't reach the point of ovrrtiredness so quickly and can hold out until it is naptime.

Saltire · 13/05/2011 08:54

I had one like that, he went to bed at home at 6pm, was awake by 5am and would be awake pretty much the whole day till he was picked up at 5.30. The longest he slept for me, when he did , was 15 minutes. The average was 7.5 minutes.. He however was the opposite of your mindee and would only go in buggy!

I know how you feel, it's very wearing isn't it with a tired grumpy child.

dmo · 13/05/2011 09:53

out of the 6 little ones i have (different days) only one sleeps with me

but i do after dinner put on one song (time to say goodbye) and the children i i lie on the rug (magic carpet) and close our eyes and go to the beach,

once the song has finished they can jump up and play

the youngest child i do this with is 14mths and he just runs to the rug after dinner as routine

Iggly · 13/05/2011 21:03

How are you putting her down? Rocking or leaving her? Might be worth varying that. DS sleeps at the same time for me as his nanny but at first she had to do a bit more cuddling and rocking. She also had to follow the routine although now he's fine and needs less cuddles with her than me!

5318008 · 13/05/2011 23:43

of course you can go about your business with a wailing baby

one could argue it's not fair on the others that their usual activities and groups have been put on hold, yes?

I KNOW it's hard and one can feel a bit overwhelmed or daunted but trust yourself, it'll come right

MrsMoosickle · 14/05/2011 18:23

I would be horrified if I thought my CM put my baby in a buggy and let the sun shine in their eyes.

HavePatience · 14/05/2011 19:55

Yes the sun in eyes thing sounds awful. Sorry. If I found out my cm did that, I'd be very, very disappointed and upset :(

HavePatience · 14/05/2011 19:59

Have you tried rocking her, giving her a cup of milk while cuddling. I know what you mean about not being able to just go on with your business and ignore a screaming baby. Give it time and do what you can for now to make her feel secure and loved would be my advice. But I'm a mother and teacher, not a cm :)

Original poster

OopsDoneItAgain · 14/05/2011 20:06

I wouldn't do the sun in the eyes bit - she will not ever sleep in the buggy so no point as well as not nice!

I dont rock etc simply because I do what mum does ie put straight down, plus have other children downstairs so cant really indulge her with rocking to sleep.

I can only hope she will settle in time. will talk to mum again in the meantime in case theres something Im missing. thanks for the replies!

OP posts:

Baileysismyfriend · 14/05/2011 20:13

5318008 - how would you feel if you were made to sit with the sun in your eyes, would it make you feel sleepy or just very uncomfotable? I think you are cruel.

Ripeberry · 14/05/2011 20:16

You can get special 'sun mesh' for buggies and at the same time it makes the child feel 'cocooned' so more likely to fall asleep as they have less to look at.

Iggly · 14/05/2011 20:16

Oops I would suggest that you do try rocking- then you can slowly do less. Its either that or no sleep for her. I don't see it as indulging her - sleep is very important at that age. It'll probably only take 0
10 mins.

HavePatience · 14/05/2011 20:22

I agree with Iggly.

Rocking / soothing is certainly not an "indulgence" for a baby, so don't worry about that.

Can other children do something independently, within eye/earshot for 10 minutes while you do that? Even if she doesn't fall asleep, perhaps it would be worth it just to make her feel secure and loved so that she will sleep eventually? Just a thought.

Original poster

OopsDoneItAgain · 14/05/2011 20:39

Indulgence was maybe the wrong word. I only trained last year and I remember the tutor very clearly stating that the children should NEVER be left unattended. She even said that going to the loo was not on and we needed to develop 'bladders of steel'. So I feel I can't be leaving the others on their own while I rock the baby to sleep.

So what do you all do when you need a wee?

OP posts:

HavePatience · 14/05/2011 20:43

I hope my cm goes to the loo when she needs to go. My 2 yo DS can keep himself out of trouble in her very safe environment for 2 minutes while she does this. He is also one who will do as he's told so if she told him to stay put, he would. He may whinge about it the whole time if he doesn't want to, but he would... so I would have no problem with this. But, I realise that not all dc are like that.

I also wouldn't personally have an issue with letting him watch cbeebies or a children's dvd or something for 10 mins while she's rocking a baby to sleep - as long as she could hear DS from the rocking spot and as long as DS had no food or drink during this time.

Iggly · 14/05/2011 21:12

Our nanny uses a playpen when she needs a wee!

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