Nanny with own child

[glitternanny]

I'm interested in any parents of nannies points of view and experiences pros/cons from both sides about going back to my 2 part time jobs with my baby - due nov, hoping to return to work late Feb.

I've had a chat with 1 boss, other is happening tomorrow.

My OH works shifts so baby won't be with me everyday.
In one job both will be at school from sept.
The other one is at school the other will be at preschool.

Grateful for all/any input. Even what my bosses concerns & thoughts could be.

I have a nanny with own child but the child is older (still pre-school) and roughly the same age as my own. It works out very well indeed and the children are great friends.

That said, I would hesitate if my nanny had a child as young as yours (sorry). It's very hard to do some things with a small baby, e.g. Cycling, homework, swimming etc and I remember the days being very centred around naps, feeds at that age. However I will say that maybe I feel that way because one of mine was a big-time crier!

I think I'd feel differently if the child was over one, or if you were offering after-school only. Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear..

I agree with mammyT. I have a nanny with her own child who is the same age as my eldest. They play nicely and get on well, but the nanny's child is also in pre-school so the children have plenty of time with the nanny on her own. While I generally think it is a good idea, it would not be my first choice to hire a nanny with a 3 month old baby.

You would have to a) be an amazing nanny that I really really didn't want to lose b) agree a pretty substantial reduction in fees and c) give some serious thought to how it would work if (e.g.) my children were ill and you didn't want to expose your DC to it; how would you cope without sleep; how you would do activities which were suitable and stimulating for my children...

If it was me, my concerns would also be practical i.e. most parents can't wait to get rid of high chairs, bottle warmers etc once their own children have grown out of them. My children are way older now but even when younger, I don't think I could bear to have had any of that stuff cluttering up my house if I didn't need it and with such a little one I'm not sure it would be feasible to take everything home every day.

I would be a bit unsure (I'm a mum of one DS who is in pre school 3 mornings a week) if you were my nanny. A mixture of reasons as described by the other posters really, but a few other things spring to mind

• How far away from your employers do you live? Would you really be able to organise yourself and your baby (maybe feed your baby too), load up the car, make the journey and be ready to start work at the start time? It is incredibly important to me that our nanny is punctual, as I need to leave home at a fixed time to catch a train to work.

• How will having a little baby impact on your ability to do activities with the children? Pretty substantially, I would imagine.

• How much of a cut in salary would you be willing to accept?

• Would you still be able to do whatever nanny duties you did before eg cooking, washing, whatever?

• What happens if your child or my child is ill?

• Would I want to adapt my home in whatever ways I would need to to accommodate your baby in the day? Eg childproofing/child safety, putting up a travel cot (and where), high chair, bouncer, whatever.

• Do the parents work from home at all?

Essentially, I think if a little baby is part of a family, then the older children all have to accept that maybe there are some things they can't do at certain times on certain days because the baby has changed the family dynamic. But if the baby isn't part of the family (and may actually not be in their lives long term as nannies can give notice) I, as a mum, would find it harder accepting that change for my child.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply. I wonder if my bosses will agree with you.

Mu furthest job is 20miles away so yes I'd need to be super super organised!

Cos my oh works shifts it wouldn't be everyday so in the holidays I can make our non baby friendly plans around the days it's just me.

In terms of salary most nannies drop their pay by 20% I was hoping to negotiate this as it won't be everday.

Given our current schedule I don't see how my baby would stop us doin anything, music class, toddlers, tennis lessons, music lessons I do in each job. I'd still need to cook, tidy and hang washing out which I can still do - which I'll still do for myself at home

the equipment thing I hadn't really though of... I'd thought I needed to supply it but that was all -

....I've managed to click outta the screen and now can't edit where I finished - stupid phone!!!

I'll leave this reply here. Thank u all again.

sickness - my charges are pretty healthy and robust but if baby is sick then daddy can take care of her/him or grandparents/auntie - I may need the occasional day off but I'll have to wait and see. If
my charges have something it's more than likely while it won't affect me I'll pass it to my baby as I do

all you can do is see what they say. Some of this will depend on how you feel after the baby is born too. All of those activities you describe as very easy can feel much more difficult with a baby in tow - re cooking, it felt like months before I could do that w/o the babies kicking off. Also, a baby's favourite activity is to need a feed/change/etc just as you're about to head out the door somewhere. I have had to can activities for my older child when the baby needed things.

I think the famiolies will rightly wonder if it's going to be tricky for you with a baby that young.

Also they won't want to wait until holiday time only to schedule 'non baby friendly' activities.

By six months or so things may be getting easier in some respects, harder in others, i.e. naps.

Nannies are so expensive that most families just expect to come first in any arrangement. 20% discount seems about right to me.

Thank you.

Maybe I'll come back and let u all know what's happened.
I'm very nervous.

I remember stopping a whole lot of activities with DS1 when DS2 was born. It was sad, but I just couldn't drag the little one out and about as much, and quite frankly I was exhausted.

I wish you luck, but I know I wouldn't be willing to have a nanny with such a young child.

Well my 2 day job said no - tho both the kids will be at school fulltime!!! Her reason was they wanted sole care for their two - 5 & 7!!

Waiting to hear from my other job.

glitter, Sorry to hear that, but they are within their rights to say no. I understand that, given the ages of the children, you might have been hopeful that they'd agree, but I see where they're coming from. Wanting 'sole care' for their children, to me, means that they want a nanny who is able to do all the kinds of physical activities that children of that age like doing, whenever the children want to do them. If the family is willing to pay for sole care, then that's what they will expect.

How did it goes with your 3 day a week employer? Will 3 days' work be enough for you in any case?

i had a nanny with own 2 children (I had dd ). one was 4 and 1 was 5 months at start. worked beautifully. we all just muddled through and nanny was very flexible. her kids were lovely and great companions for my one!

I had a nanny with just one 2 year old too when dd was older and at school and that was fab too. My dd loved to 'look after' the little one and they were very close.

you need to find someone you click with, the family who thinks you are perfect for them will be around the corner!

re rates of pay: we didnt change what we were paying from when we had nanny with no child. we did ask lots of questions about illness plans, who would be priority etc but in practice, none of it mattered.

btw way these 2 nannies were found when they were initially working as ad hoc, emergency nannies via tinies. Tho we didn't get them via there but nannyjob.

good luck.

Thanks - I know it's their right but I'm still gutted.

Still waiting to hear back from my other boss, I could work 3 days and look for a 2 day job but we could manage, just! I got a text from her on Friday saying she'd left me some popcorn to take home, can't deny a pregnant woman her cravings, another message asking if I'd considered a travel system to make school runs easier and an email
last night offering me loads of her baby stuff!! :)

Good luck

You could always temp with baby on those other days although it wouldnt be regular work at least it would be something extra

this could be a positive thing as you can enjoy some 1:1 time with your baby as you will be going back to work so soon.

No-one knows how much a baby will impact on their lives until they have one - mine is almost 9mths and I am just about to go back to work and also in mth time start back night nannying (hopefully just got a 3mth booking for 2 nights a week) - I am only going back 3 days a week raising to 4 days a week when my baby is a yr old. Although it has been tough money wise so glad I have taken all this time off.

It will be hard work with new baby working - will you be able to prioritise charges over your own baby?? Imagine your own baby is screaming for feed/cuddle/just having a bad day and your charges want you to push them on swing/play a game/ need taking to an activity/ need their lunch or dinner - they will always have to come first in a paid job - can you do that (not so sure I could)

Good luck

Would childminding be an option? There are loads of minders who look after their own children and i've never heard it being an issue with parents.

I have always taken my children to work with me without a problem. However I made sure my minded children came first I have always worked a
bout three days a week.

I never needed to drop my money one of my jobs they wanted somebody with their own child.

I think the lady with the 5 and 7 year old will have a job to find a nanny without a child u less she is going to pay for the full day.