CM;what if the parents ask to see your own bedroom ?

[Nefertiti]

will you let them ???

no

No no no no !

I went to see a childminder yesterday and she insisted on showing me her bedroom. I tried to hang back but she explained it would be her fire refuge if they couldn't get out of the front or back doors as it has a phone and is at the front so they could lean out of the windows and yell for help.

Actually, CMs, can you help me out here? I was a bit concerned that she spoke mainly to me and didn't really interact with ds. Seems a bit odd. (She did ask him a couple of questions and offered him various toys/things to do so maybe I'm being unfair - just a feeling.) We are going back to see her next week whne her eldest dd is there - same age as ds - so I guess I'll have more feel for her then.

Err it would be very weird to ask... but if they did... and you said no. Isn't that weirder?

Both my childminders toured me around their whole house. I wouldnt have cared if they didnt though

Hmm.. personally the cms I met who went over the top to talk to the children put me off. It was all a bit stagged to be honest. Most adults will naturally communicate with the other adult in a group so to ignore the adults and talk to the children is a bit like trying to hard! If you feel you didn't see her interact with your dd enough why not go back and ask if you can make a cup of tea or something while she does something with the children.. you can watch on the peripheral that way and see how she naturally behaves with the kids.

I'd probably take them around the rooms which are registered tbh and as my bedroom isn't I won't be taking them in.

Got to go and clean the house in case we have any visitors!!

No I wouldn't show it to a prospective parent. It's my private space that minded children have no access to. And anyway if a parent asked I would be a bit ... are they really interested in childcare of just checking out my house to rob me at some point. I have 3 rooms I never show: my bedroom, my stepdaughter's room (she's 20) and my husband's office. I never let children play in them.

I always find this an interesting debate as I have had this same conversation irl with several childminders and we all have differing opinions

One for example had a parent insist on looking around her whole house - she was taken aback as parent was quite assertive and CM is not, so let her do so - this was for an after school placement where child was going to be downstairs whole time (cm has downsatirs toilet) - child never came to her in the end and she was stressing about being cased out for a burgarly for ages!

Another told me she would allow parents to do so as it "is their right" but only if asked - she was a new cm having been a parent using CM beforehand

My own view is that I always show parents around downstairs and advise them upstairs I have three bedrooms and a bathroom. My whole house is registered and the OFSTED inspector looks around every room unaccompainied by me at every inspection. If asked I happily show parents my spare room which is the primary room used for sleeping babies. It also doubles as my DHs music room and our guest room though so is not a nursery and contains other things such as musical instruments, sofa bed etc. I tell parents when more than one child is sleeping, mine and my daughters rooms are used.

I WOULD NOT however show these rooms as they are our only private space and I would politely emphasise this. The rooms are only used for sleeping children and i visually check for any risks every nap time.

pickyourbrain, thanks, that's reassuring.

dobby2001 - I personally believe that a parent has a right to see any room that a child will spend time in, including sleeping. A lot of children are put down awake to fall asleep and also will wake up when you are not in the room with them. So I think the parent has the right to see/check that it is suitable. An exception to that might be if a baby (small enough not to attempt to climb out) was to sleep in a travel cot as they cannot access anything else in the oom.

nbee as I say, THAT is why I find this an interesting debate as I feel that i and my family have a right to privacy. OFSTED inspect every room unaccompanied, I carry out risk assessments and a parent sees every other single room in my home bar two.

Agree about the privacy - I certainly wouldn't show any rooms that wouldn't be used. A parent should be able to tell from other rooms that they have seen that you are not likely to put their child anywhere unsuitable to sleep, but on the other side of the coin, if you have a parent that is using childcare for the first time and is understandably anxious about it all, they might wonder what you were hiding if they asked to see the room and you said no. If they didn't ask I wouldn't show them.

Good Lord, it never even occurred to ask my CM to see her room!! I saw her daughter's room as that is the one that my DS2 naps in during the day, but that's it for the bedrooms and quite rightly so in my opinion.

It wouldn't bother me if parents ask to see a bedroom - my bedroom is where one of the travel cots are anyway and my daughters room is for the other.

I only have a small house and just generally show them round every room, including just quickly opening my sons door and letting them peek in - it's not like they're going to start opening drawers, cupboards!

I can't see the problem really.

As for not interacting with a child so much while showing you round the house - childminders have to give parents all the information in the first interview so obviously won't be able to focus on the child all the time.

My bedroom is a registered room and some people do ask to see it. For a while, I had it unregistered, stored all my cleaning stuff etc in it and put a lock on the door, so parents did not have a right to see it, as it was unregistered and the children had no access.

i'm sorry but what some people do when they go round to a cm's seems just crazy sometimes. did you give her any indication that that your bedroom was used for minding?

Thanks all, In my viewpoint ; parents doesn't have a right to see it, as it's not registered and the children are not allowed to access it.
This is MY home , not a shop , not a nursery , not a public WC!!!

I take parents round the whole house including my bedroom. I feel that there's nothing to hide and parents can feel confident they know where there child might be.

That said, my whole house is registered so I might put a travel cot in my room or mindees might follow me in there, so parents are welcome to have a look.

I would never ask to see a CM's bedroom (i know how I'd be if someone wanted to see mine) and I think an answer along the lines of "Sorry but that's not a registered CM room" should do.

My bedroom is not registered and therefore no children have access to it ergo no parent will be seeing it either.

My upstairs is registered however, it is only the older children (schoolies) who use my son's bedrooms - with their permission and moreover they are accompanied by my son(s).
I have a downstairs bathroom and my downstairs space is more than adequate for childminding. Having the upstairs registered is just as an additional extra really.

When I am interviewing a client - they get shown round the downstairs only.

I certainly do not see it as a clients 'right' to see certain areas - of course I want to sell my service and business, however this is my house and home and these people are at the end of the day guests in my space.... there is no 'right'. Mutual respect, cooperation, existence.... by no 'right'.

As to the speaking to the child during interview... I will always try to guage how the child is... if they are reluctant to interact with me - that is fine, I will allow the child to come to me - after all I am effectively a stranger. I will talk to the child but never to the point it makes them feel uncomfortable.
I see the initial meeting as a basic get to meet and establish the requirements - particuarly with the parents. If it is to go ahead then of course its full steam ahead to get to know the child.

I never show my own bedroom or study, they are not used for my business. I do have a sleepy room upstairs and don't show this to prospective parents until they come back to sign with me. I have had a couple of odd expressions from people in the past when I have said this to them, but this is my home, and from a security point of view, I will only show the upstairs if the child is going to become a mindee. I don't want every Tom, Dick and Harry looking around my home. They can see by my downstairs my standards of care, cleanliness etc.

IMO after using wonderful and not so wonderful CM over 19 yrs with 4 DC if it doesnt feel absolutely perfect then shes not for you.
your the mum and if you walk away thinking i wouldnt want dc anywhere else thats how it should feel and anything less isnt right because its your baby and you need to have an unquestionable relationship with CM.
I leave my dc with cm the same one for last 7 years and i look up to her for so much she is like an extension of our family and we love her so much.No question of any doubt and never was. But she retires in 15 months and i am already looking ! Good luck x

My downstairs is registered and thats what I show to prospective clients. I would expect that if upstairs rooms were used for CMing then they should be shown, but I can understand that that might be at the point when contracts are signed.

Re interaction with children during interviews, its not hard with younger children, I usually sit on the floor with the children so I can physically/non-verbally interact with them (handing them toys, showing them how they work, shaking rattles for babies etc) whilst talking to the parents. With older children its harder as you'd usually interact verbally with them too, but I get them involved in an activity (drawing/building a tower or whatever) and then mostly talk to parents but occasionally ask child how they were getting on, if they liked doing x, or comment on how good what they'd done was but could they make it taller/wider/whatever. I'd agree if your gut feeling wasn't right then it may not be the right place for your child.

Parents just want to make sure that you don't have mirrored ceilings in your bedroom or chains and handcuffs on the bed

er no.. only cm downstairs so upstairs is private..