Observations -

[Saltire]

Where do you make a note of (for want a better word) "negative" observations?

I put things in a scrapbook like X enjoyed feeding the ducks and as making duck noise" .

Where/how do I observe other things? I've been making small notes in a diary ( had pages of records about "that family", but not sure if I'm meant to be showing these to anyone, am a bit baffled

when you say negative, what do you mean?

If an activity didn't gel with the child concerned, they weren't engaged or whatever, I just write something like this didn't work for X , activity abandoned, maybe try again in x weeks and slip in the child's file

this kind of thing?

or is it a behaviour thingie, y'know, snatching/pinching, not sharing etc?

I meant things like
"X didn't enjoy mums and tots (again)" or
"x didn't like it when we went to messy play"
or "X didn't like it at stay and play"

X screams blue murder every time we go to any fo these groups. he's 21 motnhs old. He screams the minute we walk in and then sits on ym knee and won't join in at all.If I so much as move an inch he thinks I'm getting up and screams, he screams if another child or adult comes near us. he's obviously not enjoying it, and neither, to be honest , am I.

It is screaming not crying, full on almost like temper screaming. I have another mindee part time too and she loves it, (although mindee 1 screams and yells if she comes anywhere near me)but I feel we cannot go as it is so distressfull

Does mum take the child to any groups?? I would be speaking with mum about how they cope and between you try to work out a solution.

Perhaps a smaller group to start, could you arrange a get together with a couple of minders. In your obs you could start adding info about what is going on around him, talk to him about the activities, perhaps take your own activity that he enjoys and do it away from the other children, each week moving closer with lots of praise and encouragement.Your obs could then include an action plan to try next week etc.

What about meeting with others in a park and then meeting the same group at an indoor group when he is happier with the company. Have you tried leaving the child in a buggy he may feel safer and gives you your hands back to do an activity with the other child. All obs should be kept together but I wouldn't class them as negative they are just the way he is reacting to a situation and should be shared in the same way, be a really good way to show how the situation can be improved by talking with mum and how you develop an action plan.

The mum works full time, his care is shared between me and the dad, dad doesn't take him out at all. The group can soemtimes only have 2/3 adults and children there, not a huge group. if we go for a walk he's fine in buggy, although when we go to park he won't go in siwngs, on slide etc, jsut wnats to be carried round by me and also he gets very upset if I try to interact with the other children i mind

Poor you, I hate screaming children. :( Not what you're asking, but if its just temper then I'd leave him (screaming) whilst I got busy with the other children. I'd smile at/try and involve the screaming one but not let their behaviour affect mine - otherwise he's learning he can control you by screaming and its not fair on the other mindees. Its not reasonable for a 21 mth old to expect to be carried round the whole time (and not good for your back!). Does he bring a comfort toy you can leave him with so you won't feel so bad about leaving him screaming?

Re making notesc, I'd comment in the daily diary, so parents are aware of a pattern (although I do on the whole try to phrase these as positively/neutrally as I can). If it was a regular occurence I'd also keep private notes of times and behaviours and I'd try to get a plan agreed with the parents about how we'd proceed (could Dad not take him to play on the swings and see how he reacts?).

no idea what to suggest, although your days sounds like mine tots, messy play and stay and play lol!

I do remember my own ds at this age hating going to groups so I stopped! But then I wasn't working at the time! ekk

I think you should try to avoid making anything sound negative if it is something that is ongoing. I have a shy child who does not like mixing with children he doesn't know, and rarely wants to get involved in messy play. I identified this as something that needs working on, but realised that it made many observations sound very negative.

My written observation might started off as "X didn't want to paint ...." but as he invariably joined in eventually, I decided to leave off the "didn't want to" part, and concentrated on any achievements made.

If your mindee doesn't like social groups, you could maybe just write down information on how you are working with him to interact with mindees at home to make him feel more confident within the group, rather than that "X doesn't like going to toddler group and screamed"!!

I would try to talk to parents about how you are managing the situation but, personally, I would never want to present them with a list of written negative comments.

X is finding such and such a situation challenging????!!!!

"X is finding such and such a situation challenging"

. So am I. I haven't been to any gorups for a few days now and the child will not stop screaming even at mine, although it is slightly better. I've mentioned it to mum and dad, mums attitude is "oh poor wee soul, he needs lots of cuddles" dad's attitude is "it's temper, leave him to have his tantrum"

He's not quite so bad in the house, however goes into total meltdown if I won't let him , for example, remove the socket covers, or stick things in dvd tray, and goes back again and again, while I remove him again and again, then he screams, and when tha thappens he wants me to carry him aorund for up to an hour. If I try to put him down he makes himself sick with screaming. he also gets immensly jealous of other mindees and again screams blue murder if any of them talk to me, come near me etc.

I put all observations into their daily notes - positive and negative. I try and put the negative things in a positive way if I can , but otherwise follow a negative with something positive, ie 'X bit a smaller child when they both wanted the same toy :(. X helped Y put on his socks :)'.

I had a screamer once and it was really hard. I did lots of attention when I was there, rapid returns when I had to leave the room, firm 'no's and then distraction. I'm not sure that any of it helped him or me and it was a very tough time, but we did eventually get through it.

You have to consider the needs to the child, but you also have to consider the needs of the other children and yourself. Good luck.