Specifying holidays for nanny

[JinxyCat]

Hi guys, I have a question regarding specifying holidays for our live-in nanny. We have a contract where we've said we'll give her twenty days holiday (in addition to bank holidays) and that we will specify when she has to take half of that, the remainder is at her discretion.

So far, so normal.

I've asked her to take 31 May - 3 June off, as I have family visiting from NZ and there is no room for her in the house. We have talked to her about this, and she was previously happy about not being there for their visit and them sleeping in her room.

However, to further complicate things we are also going on holiday from 9-18 June.

I don't want to ask her to take all that time off because it's more that we agreed we'd specify (11 days total), and I know it's awkward, working for three days in the middle (and who would want to go away twice during that period?).

So I'd prepared myself for the fact that I'd be paying her and she won't be working with my son for our second 'holiday'. I'd imagined I'd ask her to do things like stock the freezer with food, sort out his toys (remove all the age inappropriate ones) - nothing huge.

But, she's now said (quite reasonably) that she doesn't want the dates 31 May - 3 June off as it's school holidays and will cost her more to go away those dates.

My question is - how should I handle this?

We have a good relationship with her, and I'm happy with her work - but I can't provide accommodation for her during that period (if I could, I would!).

I'm thinking I should say that she can has to move out for that week, and it won't count against her holiday allocation - but that she has to take 13-17 June and she can work 9/10 June stocking the freezer or toy tidying (unless she wants to take those days as her own allocation of holiday).

Does that sound reasonable?

Also, if she does end up 'working' some days when my son is not around - what is 'normal' to ask to be done? Is there anything other than food preparation and toy tidying?

To clarify, I don't want to ask her to do housework - but just stuck for ideas for anything else which I could ask her to do.

That sounds like a very reasonable compromise on your part, particularly as the whole point of you being able to stipulate when she has 2 weeks of her holiday is so that you can take time off to go on holiday with your children which will normally be in the school holidays! This doesn't bode well for future holiday arrangements and you may like to explain that normally she would have to live with the dates that you chose, but on this occasion it may be possible for you to compromise. Bear in mind that you provide her with a room as a contractual right, not a privilege, so (unless it is written in to the contract) you have no right to ask her to move out for a week.

Clearing out the toy cupboard, making sure all the school clothes are labelled, stocking the freezer with meals all sound reasonable, we have had nannies feed the pets while we are away but I don't think you could go any further with household chores unless she offers.

Interesting about the use of her room. Are you planning to pay for her alternative accommodation?
I ask not to put you on the defensive but because I'm interested.

Our AP has the whole of our third floor to herself with her own bathroom. There is a double bed, couch, desk tv etc. It's a very large space we previously used as a guest room. I consider AP rooms to be sacrosanct - but this year we did ask ours to take a DD bedroom when we had a family with three children coming to stay from South America. It just did not make sense for all nine of us to squeeze in on one floor while one person had a huge space to herself, especially when they'd come so far (we have yet to invest in flights there!) I would have felt really guilty not pulling out the stops for them. But APs are supposed to be 'part of the family' and she did participate in activities for us. My parents are from the US and this year we may also need the room over Christmas but we pay for the APs flights home.

Did you put it in the contract you might need her room or is it something you agreed informally with her? Am weighing up what to do about it. (also very scared of scaring off ap mentioning it when it might not even happen anyway.)

hmmm, bit of a tricky one.

She is a live-in nanny and as part of that she gets accomodations, which she really should be able to use when at work, and when still employed buy you, but on "holiday".
(i am guessing you arnt expecting her to move out completely for those few days, but even so, she may not be over the moon about having other people around her stuff / possessions, but anyway you have discussed it so i guess she doesnt mind too much)

I suggest that you offer to pay for alternative local accomodation for her for the days when you want to use her room, or perhaps if she was hoping to go away anyway, but has been put off by price offer the difference, so it doesnt cost her more.

No objections about her doing stuff like sorting toys / stocking freezer during those extra days BUT buy staying else-where she is going out of her way to help you, so perhaps, to keep everyone happy you could consider giving her a few extra days off?
(I had 10 days holiday chosen by my bosses in my contract and always had 20 - 40 days a year chosen by them and paid in full, its not that unusual for employers to give their nannies a fair bit more holiday than they are obliged to,) and by doing so, im sure it will sweeten her room being unavaliable for her during that time, and seems like a fair compromise to me.

Requiring someone to move out IS a big ask.... especially when you employ them and the room included in the salary calculation.

as someone else said, could your children share for a week and let nanny have that room instead. (I dont think given the circumstances that that is hugely unreasonable)

I think it's incredibly unfair to ask your nanny to move out to make room for guests, if you are not going to compensate her for the inconvenience. Her room is part of her salary and to ask her to move out for 4 days and take vacation when she doesn't want to is a bit

I would offer alternative accommodation or a contributions towards it. I mean, it's not as if she asked for that time off, she's doing YOU a huge favor by agreeing to move out to accommodate your guests.

Thanks guys.

@Harriet - I wasn't intending to offer her cash for alternative accommodation for the time I was asking her to take as holiday. It hadn't even crossed my mind I should offer, actually - maybe that's bad on my part.

I think if you just raised your accommodation problems with your AP and discussed the options with her - you can gauge her reaction from that, and she may very well suggest swapping herself, or you can bring it up if she doesn't. Your choice as to whether you'd offer money for the switch of course.

Regarding other comments about bedrooms, we have five bedrooms in the house - and there are five of us in the house normally (me, hubby, brother, nanny, and our son) - and my family visiting consists of my father, my other three brothers, and a girlfriend so it's going to be a massive squeeze!

I was planning on keeping our nanny undisturbed in her room, and moving with hubby into our spare room with my son - putting my Dad in my son's room - and then putting the remaining three brothers and girlfriend into our room - and our nanny very kindly offered to move into my son's room initially, so that we'd be a bit less pushed for room. So unfortunately - we're all already doubling up as much as possible!

Our resolution is that we are giving her the first week of June as additional holiday, so she will have 24 days this year - and she's happy with that.

@wrinklyraisen - the family specifying half of a nanny's holiday allowance is quite normal - although I'd agree that asking her to move out for the time is unusual - and I'm doing my best to accommodate her preference not to take holiday by offering additional days holiday, which is compensation of sorts, even if not exactly extra cash - so feel your comments are a bit harsh, but perhaps I'm misinterpreting :)

if your nanny is happy then that all sounds very fair

most things can be resolved with a polite conversation

think you should pay for your nanny to have accomodation elsewhere - shye seems to be very reasonable with regards to having 'holidays' to suit you - what else would you expect her to do - go and pay a hotel for a few days ??

when i was a LIVE OUT nanny, the family i worked for had a holiday home. (they bought it while i was working for them, and i was lucky enough to choose all my furniture, bed-linen, decoration, carpet etc etc
(it was lovely)
I also kept a fair bit of my own stuff there so didnt have to take everything every time we went (towels / PJs / dressing gown / toiletries / phone charger / a few books etc etc and a few clothes (it was a working farm so kept some old clothes that i reallly didnt mind getting filthy with mud (or worse!)

Not quite the same but it never bothered me in the slightest if they went without me (and i got extra holiday ) and a friend or family member used my room instead.... though ofcourse i didnt live there or keep all my wordly posessions there.

One time they had all their family staying and i even had my charges cousin sleeping in my room with me (on a camp bed).. again not an issue for me in the slightest. So long as nanny / employers have a good relationship most things / extreme circumstance, can normally be accomodated by talking / asking / and give and take.

To be honest I am shocked that you expect your nanny to move out of her room for a week, without paying for alternative accommodation.

I'd have been shocked had a boss asked me to move out when I was live-in. I didn't have any close friends in the area till I was here a while, my family live in Cornwall so far too far to move all my stuff out for ten days.

Good its settled, there is usually a compromise!

Samedi - I don't think the OP is asking her nanny to remove all her worldly possessions from the room at all!! Simply asking her to remove herself and leave the room tidy so that guests can stay.

I used to work for a family who didn't need me to work for a month in the middle of the 10mths I worked for them (didn't pay me holiday, long story) so I went off and found a temp job elsewhere. Whilst I was away my bosses sister and her fiance were staying and they asked nicely if they could use my bedroom since I wouldn't be there anyway. I was totally fine with it and just made sure all my bits and pieces were packed away in my drawers/wardrobe (so top of drawers, bedside table etc were all clear) so not in the way!!

This situation is slightly different but not all that much. I think if any of my bosses had made the request that the OP did nicely then I would have agreed - it just makes sense!! I love travel though so would be off somewhere on hols whether it was more expensive or not haha

I am now confused.

If you're saying that the nanny needs to leave your house completely because you need the space (which now I can't tell if you are), imo you need to cover the costs of her accommodation elsewhere. Potentially even if she is technically on holiday, as she may well have chosen to be on holiday but staying at home doing stuff. She may not have the spare cash to fund a travelling sort of holiday.

If you can offer her alternative accommodation on your home and she's okay with that then it's really just up to you both whether you're happy with it. Our friends brought a little present for our au pair for giving up her room. It might be an idea for your famikly to do the same?

I am saying that during my families visit I would like her to take holiday, and leave the house, and will give her additional days holiday to compensate her for inconvenience of our asking her to take 11 days holiday (four days in June, then ten days a week later).

I don't have any alternative accommodation to offer her unfortunately - as there will be eight adults and one child in the house, and we only have five bedrooms (I say only, but it's a lot of people to fit in the house!)

If I was asking her to work, and to give up her room, I would happily pay for alternative accommodation - but as she seems happy to have additional holidays, and move out, and for my family to use her room for a week - I think we're all ok. It seems her main point was that she didn't want to go abroad that week, but is happy to stay with family.

so long as you and nanny are happy (which it seems you are ) thats all that matters really