Am I over reacting about this?

[Childishoos]

hi,

I have a childminder for before and after school care. Dd is 10 and walks to and from the cm to school. She starts secondary school in sept.

Childminder is also a close neighbour.

Last night cm had a party, it went on until about 3 am, was very loud, lots of shouting, screeching etc and kept dd awake until about 2 am. Neighbour on thhe other side was kept awake as well. (they texted me as they thought the party was in my house)

This isn't the first time she has stayed up drinking till early hours on a school/ work night.
A couple of times in the last 6 weeks she has commented that she shouldn't drive as she will still be over the limit.
I did say on both occasions that I would rather she called to say she was unavailable than have children in that state.

My concern is that she smells strogly of alcohol after a binge, the house smells like brewery. But more importantly her judgement will still be impaired if she is still half-cut. I know dd walks to school but if dd was I'll and she had to collect her in the mornig from school I don't trust her not to drive.
Also, as I am at work when dd walks to school, cm is the first call if there is an emergency/ incident on the way to school.
The state she is in today she would be useless if needed.

I have called work this morning and said I will be late as I didn't want dd there.

I've told cm I will speak to her later. I think I should be terminating.
As a client I feel she has let us down by being so unprofessional, as a neighbour I feel she has been really inconsiderate. I need to work out if I want terminate simply because I am cross with my neighbour or if it is because once again she has acted like a teenager.

She has two other clients by put they are friends children and it's all very lackadaisical. My dd is her main income.
We did talk a short while ago and she said she needed to start acting like it's a business now, not just a way to stay at home but that doesn't seem to be happening.

Any thoughts would be helpful.

She CANNOT be drunk in charge of minded children. The neighbour thing is a separate issue. She is effectively unavailable for work.

Thanks, those were my thoughts but wanted to make sure I'm not being "cats bum mouth" about other peoples lives if you see what I mean.

I rarely have more than two drinks so just don't get the whole binge thing.

Am considering giving dd a key, I leave at ten to eight and dp is home by 5 pm latest so she wouldn't be alone for long stretches. She's sensible as well. Just seems like a better alternative than having yet another conversation with cm whilst she smirks.

very unprofessional and illegal to have alcohol in system while looking after or driving minded children.. or any children for that matter... awful...

am cm who enjoys a drink but keep that for weekends... smelling of alcohol is absolutly awful.... i wouldnt leave my cat with her..

very very unproffesional

I was going to question if you know that she is drinking (ie not just her freinds drinking) but it seems that she herself is.

I would take your DD out of her care immediately, (if you can) Not usre what your contract says but all my nanny contracts stated specifically about how being drunk at work would be regarded as gross misconduct (quite rightly IMO)

Not sure how it works with CM's though?

She has way over stepped the mark IMO. Who cares if your DD is her only income? Made bed and lie in it springs to mind. (how even more stupid of her knowing shes your neighbour)
there is NO WAY you can rick your DD being killed if she attempted to drive while over the limit.

To me its a no brainer, your DD should never be looked after her again. (and IMO not should any other children be minded by her either)

Especially as this isnt the 1st time

is she a registered childminder? is there someone you can complain to?

I know I'm going to have to give notice. She genuinely doesn't seem to get what the issue is.

I think she feels that as it's the morning after it's not a problem and as she is happy for her dd to be there it shouldn't be an issue for others.....

It doesn't help that her friends are just as bad so I'm labelled a part pooper or stroppy. When in fact they need to grow up, they are all pretty much the same age as me but their children are much younger.

Any thoughts on dd having a key?

Yes she is registered. I think it would be ofsted but they wouldn't do much in this case I don't think.

i dont see and issue with your DD having a key. (though at just 10 IMO she is a bit younge to leave to lock up house for day, then open up again after school)
do you have a neighbour / someone local / grandparents / a few good friends mums who live near by who can be called by your DD is she ever needs help?
Assume there is no breakfast / afterschool club at her school?

Your dd is the same age as many children i know who have a key-she'll be fine. To keep things smooth with a neighbour I'd just say you feel she doesn't need a cm anymore. It's none of your business if she's hungover with her own child and if the other kids are friends kids I'm sure she's a s indiscreete about being hungover with their parents so that's down to them. No need for a row.

Yes definitely want avoid the need for a row. She is taking on three more mindees in sept though, they will all be driven to school as much younger than dd. Am just a bit concerned about things going forward.

Absolutely agree what she does with her own/ friends children is not my business.

There aren't any other options nanny, we have no family nearby and no after school/ breakfast clubs. I don't know any of the mums well enough either. Have always worked full time so rarely at school gates etc.

Will talk to dp today and see what his thoughts are as well.

Thanks ladies.

I think Ofsted would be very interested.
You have a moral right complain.

I am appalled.
She should NOT be looking after children in this state.

Not sure I should be reporting her. I'd rather explain why I'm terminating than start a war with my neighbour.
hopefully if I explain clearly what my issue is it will give her a kick up the backside re mid week drinking. I get the impression that the financial loss might make her think more than me just talking to her about it.

Also, I think it would be fairly sneaky to report her to Ofsted. Her care generally is fine although slack. ie "pyjama days" feature heavily in non school days....
There have been three incidents where she has been (in my opinion) too hungover to be in charge of my child. What she does with her or her friends children is not my concern, it's the driving though that really pisses me off because she doesn't think drink driving is acceptable in the evening, so why is it ok to do school drop offs next day?

hmm, may terminate and make it clear that I would have to take things further if she does drive whilst still over the limit?? Don't know.

I don't think you are over-reacting at all. It's quite shocking.

I am a parent and a childminder.

I very rarely have more than a glass of wine in the evenings and if I do have slightly more, it is never on a "school night".

I would tell ofsted about your concerns.

I think it is very easy to say report het, but remember she does have to live next door to her it would be very awkward if she did.

How would you feel if someone knew a childminder drove children while over the drink drive limit and took no action, then other parents who did not know this, placed their children with this person and then the childminder had a car accident whilst over the limit?

If you are absolutely sure she had been drinking heavily until 3am and then was proposing to mind the children in the morning then you should contact both Ofsted and the local authority, who also check on childminders.

I don't think you are over reacting, more under reacting! I think I would have got rid the first time she announced over limit so not able to drive, its not like its a surprise that she woke up and was working!