CM Club: can I ask a quick question about how you see childminding?

[Numberfour]

I am doing an assignment for my uni course and I wondered if I could ask childminders on this board how they viewe childmidning -
Do you see it more as a business arrangment and mainly as your source of income? Or do you see it as providing a home from home environment first and foremost?
If the home from home aspect is all important for you as a provider, do you see the childminded children as "your" children and yourself as a substitute mother? Does the child become part of your own family?

Thank you!!!!!

I see it as a pastime that I am passionate about and that also helps to pay the bills. If it was just the money that I wanted then I would work somewhere where the demands on my time and physical/mental energy were significantly less.

I wouldn't however do it for free.

I certainly don't see the children as a part of my extended family or myself as a substitute mother. I do think that I am a key figure in the childrens lives and have a position of great responsibility to them in all areas of their development.

I genuinely like all of them and want to make their days with me a relaxed/stress free and fun as I can so that they can build good memories and can play and learn in an environment totally geared towards their needs.

When they leave however I carry on giving my all to those that are left and new ones without grieving their loss. That's not to say I am not thrilled if I ever see them again as they are growing up.

Businesswise I am rubbish and always spend too much profit on more resources to benefit the children, ending up robbing Peter to pay Paul at the end of each month to get my bills paid.

This is my job. I do it so that i can stay at home with my DD and see her growing up.

I decided to leave my job in management so that i could do this. But if i wasnt a cm, i would probs do another job from home.

I enjoy watching the children, helping them grow as a person and helping them learn. I do not think of myself as their subsitute mother at all. I do provide care for these children in a home from home environment i.e trips to park, shops, toddler groups.

Thanks, Babyetc and Pollyetc. I appreciate your replies! I have not met any childminder that refers to herself as a second mother or the children and like her own but the writer of an article I am reading seems to think that this is the case. V odd.

My DH and I do it as our only source of income, so it is definitely seen as a business.

Having said that, we get very close to the children and their families and try to offer a home from home environment, with loads of different ways to learn through play. We try to give them all the opportunities that their parents might like to give them, if they had time.

I have never seen myself as a second mother, even to the child I am GodMother to. I do get closer to some children than others and then it is very hard to see them go, so I suppose I feel a bit like an Aunty to some of them, but not really.

I don't think my childminder considers herself a second mother - it feels a bit like she is part of our family though but more like an aunty I think - she did say she would have liked at large family and couldn't though - I am sure its a job to her

I became a childminder when it became difficult for me to work and get childcare for my own children, i thought at first it was just going to be a job that would fit round my children and earn me some much needed money.

Now its much more, i have a fantastic relationship with all of my minded children (aged from 18 months to 12 years) some of whom i have looked after from being babies and now have them either before and after school or just during the school holidays.

I am not a second mum but i am someone they can rely on totally and i look after them as if they were my own children and i want them to feel totally comfortable and happy in my home.

Its more than a job or just a business but i do try to be professional but am sometimes rubbish on the business side (let parents off paying for certain things etc).

Its a bit of both, i see this as a vocational job that I have a lot of passion and umpft for, something that I believe in. Providing a home from home experience to the best of my abilities within the confines of legislation, regulation and business. I strive to provide a service that I can be proud of and the type of service that I would be comfortable leaving my children in.

However, the flip side and its SUCH a hard balancing act but one I have become better at over the years. Without having a business head on my childminding would not be what it is today. It enables me to financially contribute to my household - something that has kept us afloat in bad times (hubby is also S/E and seasonal work dependent), it has given us a better (not great but better) quality of life.... I am a working mother - albiet from my own home.

I think that is what people forget... we are working mums...... we care for children in our own homes and because of that i think there is a misconception that we should be doing this for love/free/charity and that because of the very nature (caring) of the job we are softies and we are in danger of becoming a doormat.

Well, not me... I am flexible and accomodating to the point, I will will provide an excellent service at a cost (I have been known to bend my own rules for clients I KNOW are not on the lend - ie/ a client who lost her job but needed still needed childcare... she was straight up with me and I felt I could trust her so I reduced her hours and cared for her child at a small fee, didn't charge a retainer but kept the space open for quite a long period of time till she got back on her feet... it paid dividends for all of us - she works f/t now I have her child - paid... etc...)

At the end of the day, I care deeply about what I do and how I do it (am up to degree qualification, support minder etc etc), I abhor bad practice etc but I STILL need to make money to support my family. Like I say - a balancing act

I see it as both.

DH and I are both registered so it is our business and source of income. I don't see a problem with that and it makes me angry to see from time to time, on these boards and elsewhere, comments that we charge too much, are money orientated and the implication that we should do it for love of the children.
The reality is very different, of course. I've had the odd person trying to take me for a ride and I've tightened up my business procedures as a result. No doubt this kind of thing contributes to the "hardnosed, money-grabbing" opinion of some people, but they don't pay my bills, do they? :)

I try to provide a home from home environment because I think it's essential for young children to be in that kind of environment. Like Pippin, we've been very flexible and even provided free care for parents who've desperately needed it. In a way, I'm not a second mother to the children, but more to their parents, even though I'm the same age as some of them .
It's me they turn to in the middle of the night when they need emergency care and their own parents are too far away to help. It's me that provides an on-call service to mothers about to give birth. It's me they turn to for information about anything they need such as allergies, learning difficulties, potty training, school admissions, weaning, contact and access procedures. I'm usually the first they ask to babysit. It's me they ring in desperation because their toddler is having a meltdown at bedtime.
I support the whole family, not just the child, and I'm sure many childminders do the same.

For me it is purely a job. I do it because, as a single parent with 4 children of my own there is no other job I could do that would allow me to earn this much money. Due to the rules of income tax payable by childminders that are also lone parents the job is very lucritive.

My degree is in early years education and I have a Nannying background. I feel I am really good at my job and the children love it here.

The children are treated exactly the same as my own children - cuddles, disipline etc.

If i could do ANY other job and keep our lifestyle I would as I truely loathe it.

How can you both loathe the job and be really good at it? I can understand loathing say accountancy but being good at it, but doesn't your loathing show in your face and demeanour. You must be a very good actor!

Do you know what babybaabaa I honestly have no idea how I do it.

I am incredibly good at 'playing the part'. People often tell me that they can see my love of my job in my mannerisms and voice when interracting with the children which is very reassuring as I obviously don't look how I feel.

It has however taken it's toll on my mental health.

I see it as my business.. if I won the lottery then I would give up.. who wouldnt....

I started this business to fund my dss through uni and pay the grocery bill.. my ds earns a lot actually, but i want to contribute and feel I am helping out while still be at home for youngest dd when she comes in from school..

no I dont love the mindees but i am very fond of them, take great care of them and am very professional.. lots of hugs as well..

when child leaves though thats it...end of for me.... i dont miss them... I would feel that was unprofessional... they belong to their parents not me..

I ensure that the minded children are only given access to certain parts of the house so my own family are private if they need to be.. I dont see the mindees as part of my extended family because they are not... have neices and nephews galore and 4 of my own dcs so thats enough to be going on with..

the parents though always think that you 'adore' their children(thats understandable) and i often have to make excuses not to attend childrens birthday parties and christenings on my precious weekend days with my own family.. but thats all part of the deal and its nice that they feel they want to ask me..

hope thats helpful..

ps I hate it when parents say.'arnt you wonderful to cope with all the children' i want to say ITS A JOB FOR WHICH I GET PAID..

A bit of both like others have pointed out. Although I lean more towards a business, which I find difficult to handle at times. Only last week I got told how lucky I was to be able to look after children for money! As though I should offer to do it for free.

I care for the children in my care, becoming closer to those that are with me for 40+ hours a week as they see all parts of my family life. I feel a natural protective feeling towards them, that I don't get with children not in my care. I do want them to feel as comfortable with my home as possible, I also have private areas (mainly upstairs), but am aware that I want to be different to a nursery and am happy to think of myself more of an Aunty. But get tired with people (including my own relatives) in social occasions who think I want to look after children all the time, definitely lots of bus-men's holidays.

I also try to keep a distance, I accidently accepted a parents friend request on facebook (I rarely use it), but found myself worrying about saying things that she may not like. Like a couple of weeks ago I posted at the beginning of my holiday "YAY no kids in the house for 10 days", forgetting that she may find this a bit , they also kept asking where we were going, I think some found it strange that I was just going to luxuriate bumming around in my own home, doing things with my own, older children. I also avoid most social occasions that parents invite me to, as it may shatter their image of me, after a few glasses of wine, I do get rather loud.

I don't miss them when they go to school, its more of a "reflective" feeling wondering where the time is going to rather than sadness, I also feel they are very ready for school and outgrowing me and my home, so its a double edge sword. One parent said to me recently, "it must break your heart when they leave", I didn't want to appear unfeeling, so sort of said, "ah well we all move on, I'm sure I will see them around".

Thanks so much, everyone! Your full replies have been such a great help.