Live-in Nanny and mealtimes!

[addictedtofrazzles]

Hi there,

Was just wondering what arrangements you may have with your live-in nanny and meal times. Our nanny starts next week and I am pretty relaxed about breakfast/lunch - I am anticipating that she eats with the children in the kitchen or when they are sleeping in the middle of the day (I am a stay at home mum). But it is dinner that I can't get my head around!

My husband and I live in the kitchen and spend our evenings in it. When does your nanny have dinner and does she eat with you (please say she doesn't - I think my DH will go mad!)? PLease could you kindly guide me as to what is normal?!

Many thanks

I am a live in Nanny usually eat with the children . However there are times when maybe they have several friends over ,i am not hungry then i either keep a portion back take it upstairs with me i have a table and chairs up in my room. At weekends if i am about i either break out a ready meal or something that i have cooked frozen during the week or cook something. But then i am not here that much at the weekends.
I am sure that your new nanny will want to go out / chill out/ watch tv in her room or another room. My current room is huge has soft chairs massive tv etc. After working a long day i want my own space.

I typically ate breakfast and lunch with the children, dinner it depended what time they ate ad what my room was like. I didn't really like eating in my room but I disliked eating with the parents more! So in the evening I'd either eat with the children, or if I'd made them something I couldn't eat (allergies) I'd do something quick and easy later.

Would you be happy with her eating in another room in the house? What time do you usually 'take over' the kitchen? Could she feasibly cook/eat her own dinner while you're putting children to bed?

It also depends what kind of person she is - whether she likes her own space or not.

Thanks guys for the quick replies. Until September she has a large room with tv (but might put table and chair in with little fridge too so she can have a quiet cuppa at the weekends etc!). After that she has her own kitchen in our basement, so problem resolved.

I just want to be clear from the start that the evenings are really important to us and that my husband likes his privacy etc but I also don't want to be ridiculous and suggest she eats at 5pm with the children! I think perhaps her cooking/preparing something between 6.30-7pm when I am putting the children to bed is a good idea.

Thank you!

Incidently - what nice touches did your new families do (so to speak) that made you feel welcome and at home?

I agree with previous posters that we prefer not to eat with parents,generally eating with the children or going out with friends .occasionally the parents would perhaps say" were having chinese or a takeaway would you like to join us"?this was quite nice as you then get to chat to each other as friends as well as employer /employee.but perhaps only once a month ish. I think that your idea is good that nanny knows that if she does want to whizz something up the kitchen is hers for that time you are putting the children to bed.I often found that if i was making something like a curry ,casserole,lasagne etc i would make a large one for everyone and if my boss was cooking something special for her and her husband she would say that would I like her to leave me some. Sometimes If they were having a glass of wine I would be offered one Even though to be blunt employers want to see us between 7 and 7, we are in the house and occasionally it is appreciated that you remember we are up in our room. I was in ajob where while the parents were in the kitchen/living room If I didnt feel like staying in my room Iwould hang out in the playroom which had tv dvd and computer,it was kind of my sitting room for the evenings and if I had friends over we went in there rather than in my room.
A previous boss put a bookcase in my room ,she knew I had lots of books at home and I brought a couple of boxes with me.She also put biscuits in my room.
One thing I would add is that this room is your nannies territory generally the children are not allowed in at all unless invited and if you are using the room as a guest room ask ask her if she minds someone using her room when she is not there.please tidy it up before she gets back from her weekend away I`ve come back to a messy room ,wet towels etc and I was asked to change the bed.
sorry for the waffle.

I have done a variety of things

• Eaten with the children at 5
• Eaten as part of the family at 5.30
• Coooked and eaten my food around 6-7ish when kids are being bathed etc
• Shared a takeaway with bosses when kids have gone to bed

Just make sure that if you do want her to cook whilst your doing the childrens bath that you tell her and allow her some time to cook, also is she allowed to eat in the kitchen too after without worrying that you're going to come in and she'll be in the way!

Thank yo so much for that - all really good advice. I am shocked that someone would use your room and not leave it tidy!

When I did live-in I found it really uncomfortable as there was no set time for me to use the kitchen so I had to hang round till i could use it. Luckily the family didn't 'live' in there, it was just a kitchen/dining room not living too. A set time for my use would have really been good!

When I first started I didn't realise I could just use anything like food- I had previously lived-in in a nanny/au pair position and they had given me money to buy all of my own food seperately. The new family went away for a week when I first got there and I was stuck- no money, didn't know where the shops were, didn't know I could use their food, didn't know how to use an Aga! Does the new nanny know the area? A map or a quick explanation of where the shops are would be good.

Little touches- in the nanny/au pair position, the family asked what food I wanted and ordered it for me if I wanted. They also gave me a bookshelf when they saw I needed it! One thing that is really great about some of the jobs I've had is when they say I can read their books or borrow DVDs. Also, might seem silly but loo roll! Family I was with didn't 'budget' for one extra person in the house so never had enough, so I ended buying all my own. Seems silly looking back but I resented it a little! Especially as I was on a very low wage back then. Bread and stuff like that too- family never had enough, so I ended buying it. I didn't have a kitty then as I was doing shared care.

Oh and one teeny hint- just make sure that nanny is in before locking up, setting alarm and going to bed early- everyone hated it when I had to wake the household up to let me in because they had forgotten I existed!

if possible i give the children their tea at 6pm so can eat with them. if they 'have' to eat earlier i will save mine and heat up and eat later in my room. i eat the same as the children (more specifically they eat the same as me) as i dont believe in 'toddler food and adult food', we have 'family' meals.