I told a potential mum and her children to leave immediately this morning. :(

[NickNacks]

I feel awful but what would you have done?

I had a mum and two children come to visit this morning about after school care. Children are 6 and 7.

So they come in and 6 yr old is happy to run off and play with my older two. The 7 yr old is a bit shyer and stays sitting next to mum whilst she browses my papers and i make tea.

We sit chatting for a while and the 7 yr old slides onto the floor to play with my baby (7 months). A few minutes later baby screams an awful piecing noise and the child runs to mum.

I pick baby up and notice a bite mark on her arm. I asked the child if they had bitten the baby (obvious that they had!!) and why? Child replies that baby had bitten first! What??? She's 7 months old and has no teeth yet! The only time she 'bites' is if you put your finger in her month and she 'gums' on you- admittedly quite hard gums atm.

Mum sort of awkwardly smiles and says 'oh I've always taught them to hurt back if they get hurt first'. I just replied 'I'm sorry i don't think i can offer you any childcare at this time. Please could you leave so i can calm and sort the baby'.

Baby has an awful mark left on her arm which has started to bruise.

I feel bad for chucking them out but I'm livid that a child of 7!! thinks it's ok to bite a baby!!

What would you have done? :(

Goodness me, that is appalling, you did exactly the right thing, disgusting from both the child and the mum.

It amazes me how lax some people are, today at toddler groupe my DD (2.5y) pushed a much younger child over, I put her straight into time out for 2 mins then took her back to the child for her to apologise which she didn't, so she went straight back to time out for another 2mins, she screamed the place down but didn't budge from the chair, and she apologised on the 2nd attempt.

A parent said how impressed they were that she hadn't moved even tho I had left the room - errr she's in time out, she wouldn't dare!!

and - a 7 year old thought it was normal to bite a baby???

Nicknacks you were very calm in the way that you handled it - I would not have been able to do so.

And good point about warning other CMs

that behaviour makes my flesh crawl.. very disturbing for the child to do this at all but mums behaviour... very frightening imo... your poor baby.. i would have been absoluitly livid..

As someone with a child at a cm, please tell all local cms about her. I wouldn't want my DS at risk of this sort of behaviour and I'm sure I'm not alone.
Your poor baby :( how awful.

I suppose you can't file an assault report against the mum by proxy, can you? I mean, you can't really do it against the DD, surely - but the mum not only allowed it to happen, she encourages her DD to do that - might make her sit up and think a bit! Very disturbing parenting.

no words

my son is nearly 8 his sister is 16 months, and he takes a hellish amount of abuse from her at present, but has never once in any way hurt her. Just calmly states that he "doesnt like that" and removes himself.

I am appalled that someone thinks that kind of behaviour is acceptable.

I am stunned that anyone could allow their child to do this and amazed by how calm you are

As well as telling yuor CM friends I think I'd be tempted to make some gentle enquiries at school perhaps I am being suspicius but I'd be concerned about how she is learning this stuff (i.e. is she being physically abused by a parent to have learned to have considered biting a child) this sounds symptomatic of a really disturbed child (and a very unsuitable mother)

My goodness - I would have expected a parent to seriously tell a child off for that not just shrug it off

The Mum sounds barking! How awful for you. The one good thing is that it happened before you had agreed to mind them so you didn't end up taking them on.

Poor you and your poor baby.

I agree with flagging this one up with SS though, it is not right and could be just the tip of the iceberg of what is going on with the 2 little girls. Very strange parenting at the very least.

I think you were very professional.

It would have been much worse if the baby was another mindee, how on earth could you explain they were bitten by a 7 yr old!

NickNacks, you don't need to feel awful about anything. You did the right thing with this awful mother.

Too often we come across this type of mother at toddler groups. They let their little darlings run riot, grabing toys off other smaller children and being generally little bullies. It's no wonder that by the time they are 7 they think it's allright to do as they please.

I have always tried to teach my charges that they don't hurt children younger than themselves and if they get hit by another child to tell me or another grownup. It's good to teach children from an early age that other people are important too.

Nicknacks - I agree with all the other posters on here, you did well to remain so calm, and did the right thing in
A) telling them to get out
B) Telling all your CM friends

Social Services, really? I don't have their surname, just first names (including husband actually as she mentioned him), although obviously i know the school they go to. Enough for them to look into it? Of course I have photos of DD's arm and wrote an incident report. What would SS do?

Hi Im a childminder and I think you reacted brilliantly and showed professionalism in staying calm well done.

Poor little baby You did the right thing.

Must say that I would be a bit concerned for the 7yr old and his little brother too. It makes me wonder whether they have ever been subjected to 'hurting back'