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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

I feel so guilty for excluding some mindee's from day out tomorrow.....

12 replies

star1976 · 14/04/2011 18:01

Taking kids to a museum in London and had planned it for today but ended up with extra kids so postponed it. However the kids that are not coming now know about it and have just left crying cause they want to come! Had to explain to mum that I can't take them and she didn't seem happy.

Am taking my DS who is 5, my DD 12 and mindee's aged 4, 10, 11 & 13. The extra kids that want to come are 4, 5 & 9 and with them it would be just too hard and basically not safe. Going on the tube and down escalators and that would just be dangerous with that many younger kids. Especially when the extra 4 & 5 year old are particularly slow at walking and tend not to listen to instructions.

AM really hoping that the mum will, when she thinks about it, understand that it is for their safety!

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leeloo1 · 14/04/2011 18:15

Are the 3 excluded ones all from the same family? If so (and if you get on with parents) you could always call and say that they can come if their parent comes too and is responsible for them. Not ideal, but they'll probably say no and you won't look like a meanie for excluding them. :)

Original poster

star1976 · 14/04/2011 18:20

Good idea!!!!! :)

OP posts:

alarkaspree · 14/04/2011 18:25

Leeloo's idea is a good one.

To be honest I'm astonished that the mum was unhappy that you weren't taking her children. If I had a childminder and she proposed taking a total of 9 children out on her own I would think she was mad and unfit to have charge of my children!

drinkyourmilk · 14/04/2011 18:40

If it's not your day to have them then they are not being excluded. Maybe you can plan something a little out of the ordinary for the next te you have them?

looneytune · 14/04/2011 19:39

Agree with them coming with mum, difficult one but you can't please everyone. I have different children on different days and can't plan things for when ALL of them are together as I'd be over my numbers! I've arranged a trip to see an ambulance and play with the nee nors next week. I chose the day I did as MOST will be able to come. I've offered the others to come with their parents, one is hoping to as their mum doesn't work, I can only do my best. And I can't stop the children talking about stuff. It's hard but fingers crossed mum can come along. It would be very unsafe to take 9 so you are doing the right thing!

Original poster

star1976 · 14/04/2011 20:23

Thanks everyone, I know that I am doing the right thing.

Have tried calling the mum but she never answered, not that that is anything new, so have text and suggested that she and the girls join us. Or that I will take them somewhere special next time I have them but not so many others.

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HSMM · 14/04/2011 22:02

I agree with what the others have said. I try to arrange trips during the holidays on different days, so all the children get a chance to do at least 1 special thing.

I have gone on days out with parents sometimes, so their children don't miss out.

Like Looney, I also cannot have all the children at the same time, as I would be over my numbers.

I think you are quite right to risk assess your outing, because that is what you are supposed to do.

(I can also understand why the children are upset, and that it probably the main reason the parents are upset)

KatyMac · 15/04/2011 07:39

Yep at half term we went out on Tuesday, this week we had a big even on Wednesday; not sure I can manage anything next week as my dad is having major surgery & we are on holiday (squeee!) on Friday

But next time it will be Thursday, I tend no to do Monday/Friday stuff as it impinges on my weekend too much

menee · 15/04/2011 07:54

I gather as you were going to go yesterday that the kids that left crying were the ones that should have gone? I have had this to when I had to change plans. Mum is probably a bit annoyed as hers were originally going but now are not. I think your doing a lovely thing inviting parents to so they can go. Enjoy your day out x

menee · 15/04/2011 07:56

Sorry if misread post. Lol. Its early ;-)

anewyear · 16/04/2011 21:14

I wouldnt have taken that many,
the thought of me and my own 2 boys going to London on our own scares the hell out of me, let alone several mindees as well!!
Mum is a loon if shes not happy with you, in my opinion, especially if she doesnt want to go as well....

Original poster

star1976 · 19/04/2011 16:25

Well I did call the mum to invite her with her girls but to no avail, so I text instead but she never answered. Her girls were never due to come with us, and I cancelled the day out on the Thursday cause she needed me to have them at short notice. Would just not be safe with them as I already had my 5yr old and a 4 year old. Another 4 and 5 year old would have been too much.

Now she is not answering any of my texts, or calls. Even though I am supposed to have them for two days a week in holidays.

Yet I know that she has got my texts as she has transferred money to my account as requested in a text a sent yesterday.

Am worried that she is using this as something against me now as she seems to want to give up work anyway and is talking about suing them for racism :(

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