How much to offer childminder when new baby comes?

[BarbieLovesKen]

Sorry, bit of a cheeky question but myself and dh are a little clueless.

Our CM is my aunt who is absolutely fantastic. No, she isnt registered . She has been dds CM since she was 9 months old (now 5.5), we paid her ?190 per week for roughly 9am - 6pm. We supplied nappies and wipes etc.. CM provided all food.

She also minds her 2 grandchildren.

DD is now at school and DS started with CM in January. Recession has hit big time - and we've taken cuts equating to ?1500 per month (werent high earners in the first place). We spoke to CM and explained situation and had to cut her wage to ?150. At the same time we cut her hours (as we obviously dont expect her to work same hours for less money) to 8.30am - 2.30am (DHs hours allow this).

We pay CM every week regardless of her working or not - her own holidays or by our choice. My DH gets a lot of time off and some weeks she may just work 2 days (but obviously wage is fixed), he has up to 6 weeks holidays a year. Equally, she is very flexible if we need to work late and its never a problem - she also often rings and asks if she can "have" dd after school to play with grand child.

Im due number 3 in June and will be due to go back to work in November. We dont know yet if CM will be taking baby yet but are wondering what to offer. We have been promised are expecting more wage cuts (public sector). My mother has offered to take ds (who will then be 22months and new baby - 6 months) for ?150 per month (as she is grandmother and wants to help).

We dont want to put CM out of a job (and she is absolutely fantastic) but all we can offer for both (babies really) is ?220 per week (hours 8.30 - 2.30). Is this insulting low to offer? I need to have "the chat" with her soon and dont want to appear like we dont value her work but its just very hard here at the minute.

One of her grandchildren is going to school next year so shes going to be down a mindee. The other GC and my ds will be starting school so this baby would mean she has an extra year of work if that makes sense.

Phew!! sorry so long..

that should read my mother has offered for ?150 per week

Apologies for the huge amount of mistakes..

Thats fair enough. .

Shes my babysitter then..

not a childminder, a babysitter. Sorry but as someone who was an ofsted registered childminder this is a major bugbear of mine.

How much is a euro to a pound please as I'm a bit clueless! I suppose all you can do is have a good chat with her lay your cards on the table and see what she decides. If your babysitter quits will you then be able to manage pay pay a different childcare provider?? Worth bearing in mind....

whowho the thing is, my mother has offered to mind dc for ?70 less. I think it works out roughly at 6.40 (sterling) per hour, for 2 children, which is well.. shit really.

reality dont be sorry - Im sure I'd feel exactly the same in your position. In fact I do really, I'd much prefer it if she would register. It pisses me off that she isnt but (and Ill admit very selfishly) it means too much to us to use someone like her that I know so well, whos family, who my dc adore to use someone else, if that makes sense. I know Im enabling but for care and peace of mind I let it slide.

Also, the government do nothing to help with childcare here - no tax credits/ incentives etc.. nothing. To pay a registered CM for 2 children, full time I'd expect to pay about 320 per week and if that was the case I'd have to quit work instead and stop paying the mound of tax I do pay/ claim social welfare instead. The system is punishing everyone.

shes isnt really childminding illegally as its her grandchildren she watches and her neices so all family. and you are allowed to watch family as long as she isnt advertising herself as a childminder and trying to get non family members i dont think she is doing anything wrong. i am a registered childminder by the way.

Oh interesting.. thanks for that.

Using the Euro sign I guess means that BarbieLovesKen does not live in England, Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland. Profile says they live in Ireland... so do any of us know the childcare laws in Ireland?

OP does say the care is unregistered though but they have been happy using that unregistered provider for many years. So it is up to them if they continue doing so or not - knowing the risks they are taking.

?190 per week for roughly 9am - 6pm ... so about 4.22 an hour for DD.

?150 8.30am - 2.30pm - so 5 an hour for DS

?220 per week (hours 8.30 - 2.30) for DS +Baby - so 7.33 an hour.

It sounds low in comparison to when caring for just one child. So it is quite possible that she will want more money than you are able to offer. You won't know though unless you ask.

Using grandmother will be cheaper but it comes with a lot of strings attached I expect. Whilst the current carer is related, they are not a close relative. Grandmother is a close relative and may well feel that she can raise the children however she wants, may ignore her daughters wishes or just say she will go along with certain things then do it her own way anyway.

Consider if you want your mum to have care of your children 5-days a week. Is having mum involved with your life on a daily basis something you want?

I think I would much rather use an aunt that I knew and trusted then a registered childminder any day. Have a sit down and talk to your aunt she probably will accept this is what you can afford, lucky you to have a nice aunt.

Wow, lucky you! As NannyNick said, you're the parent and it's up to you whether or not you want to use someone unregistered. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with it as long as you know and fully trust the person. :)

Children go on playdates and the parents there are "unregistered". If something happened to the child in their care on the playdate, it would be the same "risk" without insurance in that regard.

I would use my aunt as an unregistered childminder without a second thought :)

I think you can only explain to your aunt what your financial limitations are, and leave it up to her.

Either she can have both children for 220, or they'll have to go to your mother's.

Thank you all so much - some excellent advice and I really appreciate it.

(Reality, dont be sorry - I can completely see your point ).

Nannynick, I've looked up the laws here and there are too exemptions for relatives - happy days . Also, you raise some really interesting points regarding grandmothers care - exactly what mine and dh's concerns are at the minute.

?7.33 for two small children does sound really rubbish but then she does appreciate that there isnt a household in the country who hasnt had to take a massive cut in the last year or so (Ireland). She has stated before that she will only mind family (actually, this is probably because of the laws - something that hadnt occured to me ) so its either 220 per week or 0 (from me that is, she does mind her to grandsons but I dont know what the arrangement is there).

Also, this gives her 18 months guaranteed work after current 2 youngest start playschool/ national school (at exactly the same). Im hoping this all contributes. To be honest I cant see her turning the work down (plus - honestly- Im under no illusions - she adores these children - she really misses them when they arent around) but I dont want to undervalue her work in any way as she is absolutely fantastic (Im talking limits tv, everything is home cooked/ baked from scratch, her house is spotless, yard is completely child friendly - lots of time out walking/ playing, crafts every week, baking on Fridays, she does "study" when they are too small to go to school i.e. had dd writing her name/ recognising all of alphabet etc.. from under 3). DD calls her granny X.

We sat down and did the figures last night and honestly cant pay her anymore. We have worked out that I can take my annual leave at different times to dh, (as opposed to taking them at exactly the same time) and this would give her 9 weeks paid holidays per year, all weekends. Also, as previously pointed out, DH often works a weekend and gets a weekday in lieu so she often works a 3/4 day week and gets paid in full regardless.

Knowing what the current climate is like in Ireland I think she will understand that you can only afford 220 a week. I worked over there as a nanny just as the economy downturned and offered to take a pay cut (family were both in the property market)

She does sound lovely and I bet she would genuinley enjoy having the new baby as well.