I'm not sure I handled this very well, can I have your opinions please?

[mogs0]

Mindee is nearly 9yrs and in the same class as my ds. For the last 3 or 4 weeks I've noticed him making negative comments about other children about their appearance. The first couple of times it happened I tried to turn it into a positive or disagreed with his comment.

This morning he commented on my ds' hair and I responded by telling him it was an unpleasant comment and that he should keep it to himself unless he was complimenting someone.

I sent them into school with a challenge to pay as many compliments to as many people as they could today and that if they thought they were going to say something negative to someone they should think very carefully before speaking and think about how their comments would make that person feel.

Any suggestions on how I should have dealt with this?

certainly I think it's acceptable to say if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

I like the challenge, make the children think a bit

no, not handled badly at all

remember you can also point at your house rules too (be polite etc)

chin up, some good thinking on the hoof matey

Thanks! He just looked really embarrassed and I was worried that I'd gone about it in the wrong way.

Also, the phrase 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all' gets used regularly with this mindee and my ds.

oh yes

I think because you asked them both to do the challenge you are therefore not singling one out (inclusive practice blah blah)

As a parent I think that sounds great - and that you asked both of them to do it is extra good

Thanks both, I feel reassured by your posts!

I think what you said and did was entirely appropriate.

What do you think you could have done differently?

Letting it slide isn't really an option - he needs to learn to be polite at some point - and I don't think a reprimand would have worked.

well handled.. cant sit back and allow what is in effect 'bullying or teasing'. of course it has to be challenged.. i would also mention to parents as well so they can reinforce at home..

I don't think you could have handled it better. Excellent response and brilliant idea about paying compliments.

Job well done I think.

agree well handled and i have often said to dc 6+8, if can say nothing nice, then say nothing at all

as a parent who has used a childminder and as a Childminder, I think you handled it well.
In fact, I have a almost 9yr old, very intellgent, mindee who quite often doesnt think before she speaks, especilly about my 9yr old DS (theyre in the same class) I will use this tact with her, as I too was unsure how to deal with it.

Thanks for all the reassuring posts!

When I collected ds and mindee from school, I asked how the challenge had gone and had they managed to say anything nice to anyone and ds said no, they hadn't but that they hadn't said anything horrible either !

I'm hoping that after a good break over Easter they'll all be a bit nicer to eachother!