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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Has my CM lost interest?

9 replies

MrsMoosickle · 04/04/2011 22:26

She came highly recommended and my DS has been with her for 1.5years ( he is 2.5 yrs old. He has never loved going (there 3 days) but is always ok after 10 mins or so of the drop off.

CM explained at the beginning that she text/emailed pictures and updates each day but didn't do a daily written diary. I was fine with that and liked the pictures etc throughout the day.

CM has 3 children of her own and another 4 minded children and generally just seems to have a lot on with school runs etc and seems a bit frazzled. Updates each day are less and less, one picture today, no news about lunch eaten or naps etc and this is becoming more and more regular.

My DS doesn't get taken anywhere really, lots if time spent in her home and the odd walk but nothing else and never get a card, picture drwaing etc home at all. Mothers Day not even mentioned. I would happily pay extra for trips etc and she knows this, but its never on the agenda

my view is that she has over committed, is too busy with own arrangements to plan in activities, but just wondered if perhaps my expectations were too high and that this was more typical than i think?

Mrs M

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BoysAreLikeDogs · 04/04/2011 22:50

oh this is not good enough

not bothering with mother's day

not going out and about in the community, not very good either; I can understand that special trips out are far between (we do special trips out in the hols here because of having to be back for school run) but she should be doing stuff - park/toddler group/library/visiting old folk/tracking deer

do you get termly reports/see Ds' Learning Journey regularly?

Original poster

MrsMoosickle · 04/04/2011 22:53

I get nothing at all other than the daily email or txt. Today i got nothing, no photo, no message etc. My MIL picks DS up from CM and gets no handover at all. never seen a report or a learning journey ever.

Is it really bad?

OP posts:

BoysAreLikeDogs · 04/04/2011 23:05

well

the CM should be keeping some kind of record of the progress each child up to age 5 is making, and sharing it with the child's parents; there is no one way to do this, it's up to the CM to decide how to record and what format to use

the use of email to give you ongoing info on his days there is good, but she should be sharing his development records with you, again it's not set in stone, the regs just say something like 'share and report progress'

I guess the photos might cover this (not very good though, because she should be matching achievements to expectations and you as a parent won't necessarily know what the official expectations are IYSWIM)

LucieLucie · 04/04/2011 23:07

It does sound like she has lost interest IMO. Is your son able to tell you what he has done on the days he is with her? Im a CM and it is a requirement that we work in partnership with parents and communication is a biggie.

It does sound like she is taking the money and sitting him in a corner...hopefully not the case but she's not doing herself any favours.

HSMM · 05/04/2011 07:28

I am hoping that she is so busy doing activities with the children that she doesn't have time to take many photos, record lunch, etc, but ... somehow I doubt it.

Maybe ask to have a look at his learning journey/file?

You said she has 3 children of her own and 4 minded children, but not their ages. Even when I used to to a school run in the morning, mid-day and afternoon, I still managed to get out and about a bit with the children.

ojmummy · 05/04/2011 08:36

I am happy with my CM, but she too seemed to promise things when I signed up that dont happen......

DS has a daily diary which most of the time gets filled in, but not always.

When I met her she said she took children to a toddler group every week - to my knowledge this hasnt happened (but they do occasionally go out to other places).

she has taken on her sister as an assistant & I have not been told (apart from in a v.casual way last week but it only came about because I asked)

from what I can gather DS seems to be taken along on more nursery/school runs than I remember her saying - but this could be because other children have moved up to nursery/school since DS started.

Overall though I am happy with her, but when DS is a bit older (currently 15 months) I am considering using a nursery as well/instead of CM. Very hard to decide whats best though, but I keep him with her for now as he likes the other children, is well fed, cared for etc.

leeloo1 · 05/04/2011 13:41

It could be she is very busy rather than having lost interest? I send pictures/text messages as well as doing a daily diary, but am very conscious that some days the texts are short/ (very occasionally) non-existent (especially for children who are fully settled in) as we're busy. :(

Can you not have a chat with her? Most contracts have a review period (1 year in most cases) which would give you a chance to talk about things are going? Having said that after 1.5 years, if you're not happy then it might be too late to change things and for your son's sake perhaps its better to look for an alternative?

pippin26 · 06/04/2011 13:07

Perhaps rather than her emailing throughout the day she can send one email at the END of the day. I would not commit to sending updates throughout the day, that would be a virtual impossibility :(

You have said it yourself, she looks/sounds a bit frazzled and lets face it- we all get like that . you don't know what other stuff might be going on in her life.

That said, she is a professional providing a service to which she is contracted and she needs to step up or take herself a break.

How well do you get on with her, do you want to retain her services? If the answers to that are a postiive in her favour then perhaps ask for an appointment and have a 'sensitive' chat with her. Perhaps she just needs to relieve some pressure.

lollipopmother · 06/04/2011 13:48

I am a CM - I went through a period of not doing daily diaries, I know it was very bad of me but I was struggling with my other paperwork and prioritised it over the daily diaries BUT I did make sure that ALL parents got a full breakdown of the childs day/food/nappies/activities at drop-off so they were still well aware of what had been going on.

Now that DD is at pre-school I find it very hard not knowing what she's doing whilst she's there. She is 2.5 so can tell me a bit of what she's done but every day she says 'playdough' and 'played out the back door'! It's impossible to get more from her than that even though she's perfectly capable of holding a full-blown conversation these days! ' With this in mind I now make sure that the parents get sent pictures at the very least, although my diaries consist of far more normally.

As for not taking them anywhere - I am always amazed at CMs that do this. Today we have had a bit of time inside where we played shop-keepers but we've also been to a park and TWO children's centres AND we've had lunch outside! After naps we'll probably go to another park with a massive sandpit (God I looooove this job and it only gets better in the summer!!).

I can't think of anything worse than having children couped up, it is sooooo much nicer for everyone if we are out and about. I would NEVER use a CM that didn't take children out to at least one place a day (unless there's a darn good reason for it) - the school run doesn't count!!

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