Should we pay our nanny more when DC3 is born?

[CinnabarRed]

Our lovely nanny has been with us since January and things are going really well.

At the moment she looks after DS1 (3.5 years) and DS2 (11 months) between 8 and 6 Monday to Friday, and we pay her £400 net per week. We live in Buckinghamshire.

A week after I returned to work from maternity leave for DS2, I found out I was pregnant again. We did our calculations (DP and I) are worked out that we could just about afford to keep her on while I'm on maternity leave although it will be tight and I will have to take less time off for DC3 than I did for DS2.

Would you expect her pay to rise when I go back to work after DC3 (quite outside of annual reviews, etc)? I just assumed it would, because her job will be that much harder with 3 than with 2. DP just assumed it wouldn't, because her contract is to look after the DSs and any subsequent children, and also because he would't expect to drop her wages once DS1 starts school (about 6 months after I expect to go back to work).

Any advice would be most appreciated!

No you are not expected to give a pay rise for having an additional child the nanny is paid per family and this is one advantage of having a nanny that your childcare costs are not increased.

50/50

some do, some dont

personally i have always had a payrise with new addition

many familys do give a small payrise, i would in your case , the job was for 2 dc, maybe if she had known your were preg with no 3, she may have turned job down/wanted more money

you will have 3 under 4

others dont as midlands says, a nanny is per family not child

congrats :)

I wouldn't necessarily expect her pay to rise, especially with the way your contract is worded.

However, you have to consider how she will react to having 3 such young children to look after.

Instead of a payrise I would consider giving her a bonus if she stays for 6 months after you return to work.

Thank you both! I would like to give her a payrise, but it will have to be quite small because we'll be paying off debts accrued while I'm off work. I was wondering whether she might like another week of paid vacation as well as a small payrise?

As I have you here, may I ask another quick question?

If she has one fault, it's that she won't use the dishwasher. I leave it unloaded for her each morning, and it's still empty when I come home; she washed everything up by hand. I wouldn't mind, but she's not very good at washing up, and I end up redoing half of it secretly once she's gone! Any idea why she won't use the dishwasher?

And thanks to you Rita. Xpost.

I am facing this issue soon too so would like to ask, Blondes, would you expect your salary to drop once a child is in school full time? By the time this baby arrives, DD2 will be in school so I was wondering if it evened out? I'm a teacher so usually in about 1h after the kids are picked up.

I was thinking, a) reason for a nanny is that same cost regardless and b) still the same number of children for 95% of the day.

Thanks

Maybe she's not keen on the dishwasher for environmental reasons?

Have you shown her how to use the dishwasher? Left a note with exactly which button to press? It can be baffling trying to work out other people's appliances, and she won't want to get it wrong.

It makes no sense to overstretch yourself to give her a payrise - if you can't afford it you can't afford it. In her position I would be pleased to be kept on over maternity leave.

I don't think it's environmental concerns given that she does all the clothes drying in the tumble dryer!

I did show her how to use it, but on the first day and it may just have hot lost in all the other stuff she had to absorb when she started.

One of the reasons we wanted to keep her on is that we don't want to treat her shabbily. She was badly let down by a previous employer and I know it left her in a difficult place financially for a while. Plus DS1 and 2 are devoted to her (DS2 in particular). Once we knew we could make the pennies stretch we didn't ever give any thought to letting her go.

No I would not expect a pay rise. I would expect a re-evaluation of costs for things like outings but that would happen on a fairly regular basis anyway.

Why would I not expect a pay rise

1: You would still be paying me whilst you are on maternity leave. That will cost you a lot as you will not be earning as much as you would be if you were not on maternity leave.

2: I would not expect a pay drop once a child goes to pre-school or school.

she does all the clothes drying in the tumble dryer!
I think you need a chat with her about how you want things to be done. You are the boss and you want the dishwasher to be used and you want clothes to be dried in a cost effective manner (tumble dryer in my view is for emergencies when you need it dry very quick).

Dishwashers are not usually complicated. The 3 year old I care for knows how to work the one at his home, though I don't let him do it unsupervised.
What she may be unsure about is what to put where. So if the machine has a cycle which does not require things to go in specific places, then tell her to use just that particular button. If necessary, write a guide on how to use it so she has something to refer to for help.

maybe as you leave it empty, she thinks you dont use it/allow her to use it

my friend wasnt allowed to use their dw as they had a mini one and they wanted it kept empty for their tea in evening

i have turned down jobs that dont have a dw and when work had their kitchen redone last year, i had to wash up by hand

we also went out for lunch/tea at friends a lot as no cooker for a few weeks

mrs witcher no i wouldnt expect my pay to go down, as i am still on call if ill/baker day/fall over at school etc

saying that, this is why many nannies leave jobs when at nursery/school as employers dont want to pay a nanny to do nothing (which is quite understandable)

regards tumble dryer, mb puts everything in theirs that can go in there - hate to think what their electricity bill is - but say to your nanny not to use so much if you want

re pay when child goes to school. it depends on what your needs are. if you have other kids at home still i would expect the pay to be the same (and remember holidays/sickness/snow days etc). but if its your youngest that starts school, the actual job has changed. some people find they dont need/want a nanny anymore, some people do and the role changes to more work around the house (so money is the same), some people reduce the wage, but then the nanny isnt on call during the day if child is sick or school closed for whatever reason. i dont know many nannies who would stay on for a reduced rate, because they obviously need their wage for their own life/bills etc, but i know some jobs do reduce the age i just dont know any personally.

I am happy to pay the same. I just don't want to pay more as we're having another baby!
This will be our 4th and tbh, with 3 kids a nanny seemed like the most cost effective solution. I was hoping she would see it as one in/one out sort of thing! Would that be reasonable? (sorry Cinnabar for thread hijack)

my nanny doesnt like using our dishwasher either- and she says it is common among nannies. that way we dont get into - well it was half full with your stuff so i left half the stuff un-emptied. it is ''neater'' somehow to just wash up what is used on her 'watch'. i was a bit surprised by it but got used to it. but her washing up is v good so i dont have that issue! i would probably mention the poor washing up though as that is v v annoying !

Thank you Blondes. I understand the on call thing though that must be rare and maybe 2wks maximum in a year for illness. Though mine average 2days so far. Inset days not a problem as tagged onto hols and she has a term time contract only as I teach. From Sept I will have 2 in school and one in preschool every morning so she'll have mornings free for a couple of months until baby is born. And still even then as I will see to the baby for the first few months at least.

I need to look into paying her during my mat leave as I've never done that before. As a teacher, I only get 6wks full pay then SMP so we will be struggling to continue to pay her for the rest of my year off and I'm quite sure I wouldn't want to go back within the first year. It may be that the fairest thing for her is that we give notice! Is this what people normally do? Or do most people pay full salary during their own mat leave? I can see we have a lot to think about.

I have never had a pay rise when a new baby comes along. I have two jobs one with two children and one with four children I get less per hour than the one with four children

With regards to the dishwasher I always feel really guilty totally filling it up and aim to leave it empty if I can, because my boss does a lot by hand.

Thanks everyone. Really appreciate your input.

MrsWitcher - as it happens, our first nanny went on maternity leave at about the same time I fell pregnant with DS2. We decided (me and DP, but with a lot of input from our nanny) that DS1 would benefit from interacting with more children and so we sent him to a childminder when her maternity leave started. So we didn't have the same dilemma that you have. We would have liked our old nanny to come back at the end of her maternity leave, but she wanted to drop to PT hours and we needed someone FT. In the end we parted company on very good terms, and are still in touch.

FWIW, anecdotally I gather that most employers let their nannies go when maternity leave starts, precisely because they can't pay wages while on SMP. I'm very glad that we can keep our new nanny on, because she's lovely and doesn't deserve to be messed around so soon after starting with us. I think all you can do is treat your nanny with integrety in the manner you would like to be treated - let her know what your plans are so she can decide for herself what works for her - for all you know she's been longing to take a year off to travel around the world, and this might be her perfect chance!

WRT the dishwasher, I'll talk to our nanny again when we get a quiet moment (no idea when that will be). I'm glad to have a better understanding of why she might not want to use it.

obv paying your nanny while mb is on ml costs a lot and i do understand why some employers tech make their nanny redundant, as cant afford to pay a salary if not being paid theirselves

i have had 3 mb on ml in 20yrs of nannying and have always kept my job

what some mb dont think about, is that they may want their nanny to return 4/6mth later and sometimes they wont as find a new job, so more disruption, new nanny, new baby

my friends boss, basically said to her, go away for 3mths and then come back and then wondered why her nanny found a new job

if you can afford keeping your nanny on, then very beneficial and sure you will enjoy having extra pair of hands in the early weeks, no rushing out on school/nursery runs dragging babies in rain/you can spend extra 1 to 1 time with older sibling etc

Blondes, I'm sure I should know this but - what's MB? Mother boss?

Oh gosh, I would never expect her just to take unpaid leave. That would be wholly unfair. However, I'm just not sure we can afford it on SMP. This will be my 4th child and I know for sure that I wouldn't want to go back teaching until baby is at least 1yr old. Of course an extra pair of hands would be great but also very expensive. DH and I will need to sit down and have a talk.

Btw, she doesn't get at all exploited and whilst she has a term time contract, she nannies for another couple during school hols so that works out great. Her contracts also run term to term so she gets paid for the 3 halt terms a year and she has those 3 wks off. So she doesn't have poor t&cs, just soon to be poor employers!

That's right Cinnabar - MB/mum boss and DB/dad boss

I wont be giving my nanny a rise when DC2 arrives because she has an extra child to look after, that's supposed to be the benefit of having a nanny. Otherwise I may as well use a childminder or nursery. DD has just started going to nursery a couple of mornings a week, which will increase over the next year and equally, i don't expect my nanny to take a drop in salary.