Problems with my MH

[slipperandpjsmum]

We have a new Mothers Help (5 weeks pt) but its not going well and would value some advice please.

One of her jobs is to put the childrens clothes away. After she left the other day I was putting something away and noticed there were quite a few of the wrong childs clothes in the wrong drawers. I had asked her to hang all my daughters clothes in the wardrobes but she had jammed the clothes in so they were very creased, the rest where thrown in the bottom of the wardrobe. On checking the other rooms alot of the other clothes were muddled. I have spoken to her about how important it is they go into the right rooms. I had also asked her to hoover the childrens rooms but I could not tell if this had been done or not.

The tv was on in the sitting room. In the past she has watched tv with my daughter which is fine. However, this weekend she was sitting in there on her own watching kids tv!!

I thought she was shy around me. However, my daughter said when they were in her room together she did not say a word to her.

When she left my ds (2) rushed to the door to say goodbye and she shut the door on him, leaving him crying.

I wonder is this a training issue eg I need to go over everything again, is she really not interested in doing a good job and lastly I am concerned she is just not that keen on children!!!??

Any advice on what I should do next?

These are fairly small issues but could become bigger issues if not discussed perhaps she is lonely and shy

maybe sit down with her and have a chat about how she feels the job is going and address the issues you have - would be nice to say all the things she is doing well alongside the issues also.

Also show her how you want the clothes done

Get your daughter to get an activity out and ask the mothers help to do it with her.

Your son obv really likes her to rush to say goodbye - maybe ask the MH if she can say bye to the children when she leaves the house or that ds can wave from the window.

I had written a long reply but then the computer crashed Argh!

I was putting something away and noticed there were quite a few of the wrong childs clothes in the wrong drawers.

I am a nanny and have been known to muddle up clothes of children who are close in size/age putting away DC1's top with DC2's tops or thinking that I'd seen DC3 wearing something when in fact it was DC1's!

The tv was on in the sitting room. In the past she has watched tv with my daughter which is fine. However, this weekend she was sitting in there on her own watching kids tv!!

You don't say what hours the MH works - could one of the children have popped out of the room to get something/go to the loo? Was she watching it whilst doing the ironing - I have been known to watch kids dvds whilst ironing and their napping/playing to catch up with a film that I have only seen small snippets of due to being in and out of the room whilst the dc's watch it! Was she finished with her jobs and waiting for the children to finish napping?

I thought she was shy around me. However, my daughter said when they were in her room together she did not say a word to her.

How long were they in her room - I have sometimes had quiet sessions with older children IE when we're doing a puzzle/colouring where neither of us speaks - sometimes it's nice just to sit quietly - would be odd if DC were playing an active game or wanting MH's attention/help.

When she left my ds (2) rushed to the door to say goodbye and she shut the door on him, leaving him crying.

Had she said goodbye. DC(2.6) would often kick up a fuss when I left for the day tears/tantrums etc when I had already said Goodbye etc, TBH it is the parents role to amuse/distract the child once the nanny/MH has clocked off and is going (as long as they say bye or wave to the child to let them know she's going)

Clothes can be a right pain, especially if they do not have a label indicating the size. Also hand-me-down clothes for younger children can be tricky as well as they may a age/size indication larger than the child. PJ tops are the worst I find, as are t-shirts from other countries where labelling is different. When faced with a choice, you guess... sometimes the guess is right, sometimes it's wrong.

Perhaps she was in a hurry to put things away, or got sidetracked (easily done with young children around).

She may not be very child focused but she's a MH not a nanny so maybe she doesn't view them as being her biggest concern. Are her duties mostly housekeeping related rather than childcare?

Grabaspoon

pretty much exactly what i was going to say...

OP i think you are over reacting

I don't think you're overracting at all, you're paying someone to do a job and she's not doing it right so needs managing.

I'd start off my having a sit down " how do you think things are going" chat. Ask if there's anything she's unsure of.

You just need to tell her again, re the clothes, get the ones out she's jammed in the drawers and ask her again to hang them up. Clarify which child has which size clothes. I'd just do it in a matter of fact way rather than as if she's done something wrong.

TV thing does sound very odd - if its just a one off I'd just ignore it.

She still very new and probably hasn't yet built up a close relationship with your children so it'll be very much a job still rather than any emotion attached to it. She probably just wants to get home!

Hope it goes well

Only five weeks in and the childrens clothes are muddled, I still do this after being in a job for three years. Could it be your dc has pulled the clothes out the times I carefully put clothes away neat and ironed only to go back and find them all muddled.

Maybe she is shy sometimes long goodbyes do not help when someome is leaving, its best to just go.

I agree with others about the clothes.

Could it be that she didn't know how to change the channel on the tv? I prefer background noise, and hate absolute silence! So if my charges are sleeping etc then I either watch Telly or get on with job (eg cooking, putting a wash on, sorting toys etc) with the tv on in the background.

I also agree to ask if you can do a 6 week review just to check in with each other, and do it without the kids around!

Have you spoken to her?