Is it reasonable to ask a childminder for a reference? Childminder withdrew offer of a place when I did.

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Hello, I am interested to know if this is unreasonable or not.

I made an initial visit to a childminder and went back so my husband could meet them. We were given the contract to look at and began to talk about settling in next week. I was planning to do the contract over the weekend and give it back to them when we were due to meet for settling in, early next week. However, I asked them if I could have a quick chat to one of their existing parents, a bit like an informal reference, as I have been offered that opportunity by other childminders i have visited. They then sent me a very annoyed email saying that they were under no obligation to do so and were withdrawing the place as I clearly was not ready to sign the contract.

WHat do you think?
Thanks.

Just let it drop and don't respond to the email. The regulator I don't feel will be able to do anything, there isn't any rule of which I'm aware which states that a childminder has to provide a reference to a prospective customer.
The childminders ability to "work with parents" is possibly lacking rather a lot and they won't get much work if they don't do things to reassure prospective customers.

Like everyone else, I would be very eary of a CM who got annoyed at being asked for references. I am of the opinion that if you are about to entrust your dcs with anyone, you are entitled to know as much as possible about that person.

I think it is probably good news that she is not going to have your Dcs actually!

Sounds like a misunderstanding to me. If you have been in discussions for some time and then only raised the subject of talking to another parent at the eleventh hour as they saw it, just as you were supposed to be signing contracts, perhaps they had the impression you were stalling or trying to keep your options open. I'm not suggesting that's the case, just how it might look from the CM's side. It could also be that they have had bad experiences before with parents procrastinating then letting them down; or maybe they had someone else lined up waiting on your decision and decided to offer them the place instead - a bird in the hand and all that.

Personally, I'd be a little wary of letting a prospetive customer speak to a current parent. It could be seen as a potential safeguarding issue. After all, the prospective parent is a stranger wanting to diretly speak to the parents of hildren in their charge.
I'm more than happy to provide written referenes from former clients and possibly a written one from a current one but wouldn't give out a parents number or enourage direct contact..

Very very odd

personaly i wouldnt leave my child with someone who was unhappy for me to have an informal chat with anyone about their service.

would wonder what they were hiding

moogster I don't understand your point at all. I might be being a bit thick but surely if the current parents give consent there's no problem? Certainly other parents have been happy to talk to me when I've phoned them about a CM.

NickNacks - I know what you mean

I should have listened to my intuition, when one set of parents first came to visit, I didnt sadly, I felt sorry for them and took them on.
I no longer care for their children, after one incident/accident too many.