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Nanny has been fab for five years, now pregnant and it's going wrong

7 replies

Cakehead · 28/03/2011 18:36

We've had our nanny for three years and it's worked well for all of us. She does four days, from 8 till 4. We won't need her after the summer as our youngest starts full time school. She's pregnant and due in September so works out well all round. As my youngest is in nursery each morning she fills in her time doing odd bits and bobs, tidying up, etc. But since she's discovered she's pregnant, not a lot's happening. Tonight have come in to find breakfast toast and jam still on the table (realise that sounds petty but they've been there all day), DH came home unexpectedly this morning and she was just sitting down in front of TV, washing not put out. Other day I came home and she didn't know where DS was as she was sitting in front of Disney channel. He was in the garden on his own, just doing nothing. But he's only 3. Up until now have never had cause to pick fault but does seem she's just not bothered now. There are other things too, all similar low level stuff but she's paid really well and now i just don't know how to tackle this. (should say, she's not suffering with morning sickness or anything and always says she's feeling great). Any thoughts what to do?

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Booh · 28/03/2011 19:16

I guess she is around 3 months pregnant, do you know how she is feeling? As around this time I was still being sick and very tired.

Just have a quick word with her to see if she is ok, also as she is leaving in September, you may have to prepare yourself for the downward slide of things.

RancerDoo · 28/03/2011 19:18

It could be worse: my friend came home and found her nanny asleep in her bed!

I think you have to have a chat with her. She may not be feeling terribly energetic, and she may still have her mind on other things, but you are still paying her to do a job. I can understand someone who is pregnant (although perhaps not only a few months) needing more time sitting down etc, but that necessitates a bit more CBeebies and sitting with the child while he watches or reading stories, not leaving him to play in the garden unwatched. And I would cut someone some slack on washing etc, but not on childcare standards. You just need to talk to her about how she is feeling - present it as a chat about any adjustments that need to be made to take account of her condition and go from there.

RitaMorgan · 28/03/2011 19:20

Have you done a risk assessment for her yet? Maybe that would present a good opportunity to have a chat about how things are going lately, any adjustments that need to be made.

Northernlurker · 28/03/2011 19:21

She sounds tired and distracted to me. If she's been with you that long as well she's probably apprehensive about the forthcoming break and huge changes, She may even be a bit depressed. It's not uncommon in pregnancy. Clearly you need to get good value from her - but just take it easily. It's not worth having a miserable last six months and neither of you need the stress.

RitaMorgan · 28/03/2011 19:23

Are you organising her maternity pay and redundancy money properly too? So there's no room for her to feel hard done by or bitter about finishing her job?

Cakehead · 28/03/2011 19:33

Yes we're sorting maternity pay etc and giving her as much of our stuff as we can, as we don't need it. In fact, we're trying to be more than fair - I work in the City and know how badly pregnant women can get treated. In fact, when she was thinking of getting pregnant I even offered to keep her on a few extra months if it meant her being able to get full maternity pay etc. I'm not expecting her to have bags of energy at this stage, but just to keep things ticking over. Some good points though, especially the risk assessment. Thanks.

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SnapFrakkleAndPop · 28/03/2011 20:11

I agree she may well be saying she feels fine but might be exhausted and a risk assessment is a good time to discover that kind of information as well as 'revise' her duties (so you can emphasise what is non-negotiably important to you).

However despite the fact she's pregnant...

It takes 2 minutes to put breakfast stuff away
She should never, ever be leaving your DS unattended, let alone to sit in front of the Disney Channel by herself while he is in the garden and not know where he is

The washing I'd be inclined to let slide though. It's not the biggest deal at the end of the day.

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