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Original poster

Nanny starting next week and not answering messages. Should I panic?

28 replies

skaen · 28/03/2011 10:14

You all kindly gave me some help when my nanny resigned and I found a lovely lady to take her place. We had a settling in session where she played with the children and everything went well, and she said she'd keep me updated on Ofsted registration etc (I've offered to pay for the first aid course). I thought we'd organised another settling in day, but after a brief discussion by text, she hadn't realised and her DS was ill so it didn't happen.

I sent her an email last week asking for bank details etc so I can get her set up for payment and whether she had made any progress with Ofsted because the voucher provider can be pretty slow. I haven't heard anything at all from her.

Am I being too demanding? Should I just leave it? I'm now getting a bit panicky that she's changed her mind and I'll have to find last minute emergency childcare next week... Is there anything I should do?

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drinkyourmilk · 28/03/2011 11:22

do you have her phone number? I would call.

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 28/03/2011 11:32

Definitely call her. Presumably she wants to get paid so she shouldn't mind the call!

BradfordMum · 28/03/2011 11:43

Is there a reason why you've not phoned her?

Original poster
skaen · 28/03/2011 11:43

I've tried calling and it went through to voicemail. I've left a message.

I have her home number as well but I haven't called it yet (at all). Do you think its worth giving that a try tonight?

OP posts:
freshmint · 28/03/2011 11:45

yes!
I would leave messages on both saying that unless you hear from her by tomorrow evening you will assume she is no longer interested in the job and you will be looking for someone else. How can you run your life otherwise?

Original poster
skaen · 28/03/2011 11:45

Sorry, haven't particularly called because most of the arrangements so far have been made by email. She's still working with her current employer till the end of the week so phone availability is a bit patchy. Also, DH keeps telling me I'm being incredibly neurotic and everything is fine...

OP posts:
RamonaFlowers · 28/03/2011 11:48

Firstly, please remember you are her employer and expect the same from her as would be expected from you in your job vis a vis punctuality, respect, communication etc. Don't ever feel you are being too demanding for expecting an excellent service for the cash you are shelling out.

However, if you have only communicated via email so far, it may be she just doesn't use or check her email that often.

See how long it takes for her to respond to you phone call. If more than 24 hours then that would be cause for concern I think.

Interesting re the Ofsted thing - I'm surprised she agreed to that. Well done you!

Hope it all turns out well. Getting the right nanny can be so stressful.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/03/2011 12:22

do i take it you havnt signed a contract yet?

seems a little strange she has contacted you, but then again my friend is rubbish with emails and can not check for days/weeks (mine come striaght to my phone)

i would have rang instead of emailing, but now you have, i would ring and leave a message on home phone (i have rubbish signal at work on mobile, but as soon as leave the house i get messages pop through if not before)

and no you are not being demanding, though alarm bells are ringing faintly and getting louder lol and maybe thats she has changed her .........

Original poster
skaen · 28/03/2011 12:29

Thanks all very much. I have left a message on her mobile and I'll give her a ring at home this evening.

I just veer wildly between thinking I'm worrying completely unnecessarily and deciding that she doesn't want the job at all and just hasn't told me...

OP posts:
StillSquiffy · 28/03/2011 12:30

I'd be hearing alarm bells. Call her tonight, at home, and preferably using a withheld phone number. If she doesn't answer then I'd try again tomorrow first thing.

The bit where you say "I thought we'd organised another settling in day, but after a brief discussion by text, she hadn't realised and her DS was ill so it didn't happen" would not have concerned me too much in itself at the time, but would worry me greatly now.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/03/2011 12:32

left out mind Blush

but squiffy hears the same bells .........

as a nanny i would not start a job without signing contract before hand, and it seems to me she isnt very reliable in getting back to you,which would also concern me

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 28/03/2011 12:32

You are't worrying unnecessarily if you don't have a contract signed etc. Even if you did it's reasonable for her to respond to emails/messages!

Did you find her through an agency? They might be able to get in touch with her.

When was the last time you were actually in contact?

MarshaBrady · 28/03/2011 12:38

skaen where are you based? I might know someone excellent in London and she turns out to have found something else.

Original poster
skaen · 28/03/2011 12:52

I'm in Oxford...We'd agreed the terms of the contract and I have writing it up. I didn't find her through an agency but I just tried her mobile and she responded (!) with a text saying she'd call me after work. It doesn't sound good, does it?

OP posts:
SnapFrakkleAndPop · 28/03/2011 12:54

Well if she's working it's not necessarily bad that she's not calling you back straight away but at least you know she's alive (!) and you now have a time to pin her down to.

If you're very worried then start looking at contingency plans. Sods law dictates you won't need them.

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/03/2011 14:51

least she responded, maybe she cant talk if mb about

if she wasnt interested, i would have thought she would have replied that in a text, rather than saying she will call you tonight - iyswim

Original poster
skaen · 28/03/2011 16:29

Ah thanks Blondes (and Snap!) I'd have thought if she was okay she'd have said that in a text rather than being so non-committal.

Am still worrying but I'll give her this evening. If I haven't heard anything by tomorrow I'll start panicking properly looking elsewhere!

OP posts:
SnapFrakkleAndPop · 28/03/2011 16:33

Well it sort depends what the message and the text said! If you left a message saying you wanted to talk, among other things, then a text back arranging a time is fine. If the message was literally 'are we still on fir next week?' amd she cones back with 'we need to talk' that's a less good sign...

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/03/2011 16:34

hmm thats true as well, a text saying

yes looking forward to starting with you next week - cant talk at mo - will call you later

would have been better, thats what i would have done

guess you have to wait now till maybe 8pm till she is home and eaten - if she hasnt called by 9pm i would ring her and if you either dont speak to her or hear back from her

and then start looking :(

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/03/2011 16:36

great minds snap, though she could have also texted, sorry i wont be working for you next week/got another job etc

so all is not lost yet .....

BradfordMum · 28/03/2011 19:05

Any update?

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/03/2011 20:49

It's nearly 9 - skaen is either nattering on the phone happily or she is pulling hair out and knocking back the wine

Blondeshavemorefun · 29/03/2011 07:32

do i need to pour the Wine?

did you get hold of nanny?

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 29/03/2011 07:37

Wine at this hour blondes!

Brew surely?

BradfordMum · 29/03/2011 07:39

Well I guess no news is good news?!

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