Writing nanny reference, please help

[LittleOneMum]

I am writing a reference for my soon-to-be-ex-nanny.
She's been with us a number of years and had many positives, but recently she has been seriously flawed (hence why she is leaving). She has asked for a reference so that she can sign up with some nanny agencies. I honestly don't know where to start. Can I leave off the reasons why I would never employ her again?

Have you raised these issues with her? If you have then you could mention them, although I probably wouldn't in writing and would verbally. If you haven't then you can't because she didn't have a reasonable chance to fix them.

You could write a very basic reference confirming length of employment, sick days and duties.

Why is she going? As in, your choice or hers?

I have raised them with her, yes. I don't want to mention the bad things though - I honestly think we'd both come to the end of the road.

It is a joint decision that we should part really. I have done a first draft which sets out as many positives as I can think of.

You aren't obliged to mention them if you don't want to but I get the feeling you feel an obligation to future employers to raise the issues and you would, in a sense, be right because you should avoid (for your own protection) giving a misleading reference.

If you're struggling to write an honest, positive reference then that's not a good sign really. Any problems you had can always be brought up over the phone in response to direct questions but without knowing what they were (and you don't have to say!) it's difficult to know whether not mentioning them would be bad.

I mean if it's just a case of you've grown apart and she's beginning to annoy you then why would you mention it? But if she's smacking children and smoking crack on duty you have 3 options: give no reference, give a basic statement if employment, give a detailed, balanced, accurate, substantiated reference.

Thanks snap. it's probably more to the "annoying me" end of the scale. I have drafted something upbeat.

the fact you have had this nanny for a'number of years' means she cant be all bad so i dont think you can give her a bad reference

what kind of things is she doing?