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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

questions about Au Pair duties - stay or go...???

52 replies

gillo98 · 24/03/2011 22:00

hi, ive just recently got an au pair and skyped and emailed her what was expected of her before she accepted the position. we are in ireland by the way and she is australian. Myself and my other half both work full time and have a 7mth old son. Again, she was aware of all this beforehand.

I start work at 6am, and my other half at 7am, i expect her to get up with the baby as im gone by 5.30 and himself by 6.20am and the baby usually wakes about 6.30ish. im home by 2.30pm and the rest of the day is then hers. i also have a 2pm-10pm shift (other half is 3-11) and again i expect the au pair to get the baby up but i get up bout 8.30am and take over until i leave for work at 1.30pm. As im working until 10pm, this is counted as her babysitting night (ive 2 of these shifts one week and one another week and three in another week) AS she is expected to be avl to do babysitting twice a week, i pay her extra for the week when i have 3 x 2-10 shifts. And then i have a week of nights (10pm-6am) and i would be outa bed by 1pm and again she can have the day to herself until i leave for work at 9.30pm...baby is in bed by 6.30pm every night. She has not done ANY housework, sorry, im mistaken...she has done hoovering ONCE (she's here a month) and the odd time she will unload the dishwasher and has made dinner 6 times...
We pay her ?100 a week and she has full access to a car and her own tv and internet too. I have to tell her to take the baby monitor into her room. Oh also when we are off work she is off too, we get three days off one week (fri, sat, sun) the next week is three days too (sun, mon, tues) the following week is two days (wed, thurs) and then we are back to the fri, sat and sun off....
Am i asking too much? Any advice would be appreciated on this.....
thanks

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FourFortyFour · 24/03/2011 22:02

Sounds like she is a nanny. I thought au pairs weren't meant to have sole charge of a baby.

LaurieFairyCake · 24/03/2011 22:03

I think that seeing as she has sole charge of a 7 month old for all those hours you should expect nothing more as you are paying her so little.

Frankly that's a nanny job not an au pair.

BeattieBow · 24/03/2011 22:09

what time is your partner back - can't he do the nights/evenings? - can't you alternate or co-ordinate?

I pay my au pair £90 a week and she does around 25 hours. my 2 year old goes to nursery during the day. I think you are asking a lot of yours who appears to do a minimum of 8 hours a day, plus anti social hours. You can't expect her to clean on top of that imo.

jenga079 · 24/03/2011 22:15

I have no experience of this, but thought au pairs weren't allowed to look after under-2s? I'd love to hear if this is true or not as we considered an au pair but thought we couldn't have one for another few years.

Original poster

gillo98 · 24/03/2011 22:20

au pairs arent supposed to look after children under 12 weeks on their own actually. other than that there are no specifics here in this country. and by the way to "lauriefairycake" she wants for nothing in the house, all im asking for is "help" with a couple of things not the whole house being cleaned.... And as for the anti-social hours, they are when my other half is in the house as he doesnt work the same night shift as me, i expect her to get up some mornings as my other half goes to work when i get in at 6.20am....

OP posts:

BeattieBow · 24/03/2011 22:22

you asked for our opinions Gilo and you got them. sorry you don't like them.

fwiw I've had au pairs now for 6 years. Have never left a young baby with one on her own. I have had a couple of au pairs who've left other families that have exploited them.

and I'm sorry, i don't understand why your ap needs to work if your dp is in the house. Maybe I'm missing the point there.

WipsGlitter · 24/03/2011 22:24

Did you make it clear she had to do housework and cook for you? It is my understanding an au pair only makes food for the child. You need to sit down with her, make a chart of your hours and when she is "on" and "off". It might be hard because you are in the house but sleeping and she's not sure how to handle that. You need to distinguish between your "normal" sleep and your "shift working extra sleep". Why is she bringing the baby monitor to her room? What's the issue with her being off when you are off. It sounds like you need a nanny!

freshmint · 24/03/2011 22:26

you are asking too much
you are asking an aupair to do a nanny's job for pocket money.
you need to pay a nanny and that will cost you about 3 x as much.

cheesetoastie · 24/03/2011 22:26

Yes you are asking a lot more than most au pair hosts/employers do.

If she is in sole charge of a baby for 8 hours at a time (and anti-social hours at that) I expect you have one of the few 'au pairs' with childcare qualifications or previous baby experience, although I'm surprised she hasn't left you yet for a proper nanny job with the matching pay.

For Jenga - There are no 'laws' to au pair duties in the UK, however the vast majority of au pairs have no childcare training and very little childcare experience ('looking after cousins' comes up a lot) and are therefore not suitable to be left in charge of pre-school age children. Once children can talk (so they can tell au pair what they want, tell you if there is a problem and so they are fluent in their own language) then au pairs become a more viable option and then generally for short periods of time (either side of school day for instance).

HattiFattner · 24/03/2011 22:32

an aupair works 5 hours a day, 5 days a week. We paid our aupair £75 pw for this. that was 5 years ago, so not sure what the current rate is.

SHe would spend acouple of hours watching my youngest (aged 2) and a couple of hours cleaning.

I think you are taking advantage. A 7 month old is hard work. there really isnt time to do much else but take care of the baby's needs.

And when you say she does nothing-I expect she makes bottles and baby food and changes bums and rocks fractious child and plays with him and cuddles him and takes him out for some fresh air....

nannynick · 24/03/2011 22:33

Your schedule is confusing and sounds complex. How have you described it to your au-pair? I expect some kind of chart so she knows when she is on duty and when she isn't.

You are in Ireland, they are Australian... so they have not come to Ireland to learn the language. Don't know Ireland immigration rules but I would expect that what you are describing is more of a Live-In Nanny job, given the sole charge care of a baby and what looks to me like quite long hours. Are au-pairs defined as an immigration category under Irish law? Can't see it listed under the INIS Stamps.

This article (Herald, 2010) says that au-pairs do have some employment rights but does not go into detail.

When you are on nights (10pm-6am) who is caring for your baby? Is DH responsible then?

Original poster

gillo98 · 24/03/2011 22:33

she doesnt work when we are in the house, i was just giving my night shift hours...hes there at night but gone by 6.20am when i get in and go to bed for a few hours kip so she isnt "working" any unsocial hours. And as i said when we are off so is she..some weeks she works maybe 32hours and somtimes to a maximum of 40...
"an au pair who works 30 hours per week gets pocket money of between ?80 and ?90. " i got that off an offical website and we pay her ?100 a week.

And she brings the monitor to her room because im in work at 6am and have left the house by 5.30am and my other half is gone by 6.15am and the baby wakes at 6.30/6.45am...its not going to do much good if its in my room and hes crying and she cant hear him....her room is a bit away from his room... thats why she has the monitor
And there is no need to be so bitchy about some of your comments. i am asking and a bit of civility goes a long way...

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 24/03/2011 22:34

at "she wants for nothing". So bloody what, you feed her?!?

You are exploiting her. Why should she do housework when she's looking after a 7 month old for 8 hours a day and getting up at 5 in the morning.

I don't give a tiny rats ass what the laws are in your country, you are exploiting her by paying her 3 euros a fucking hour.

LaurieFairyCake · 24/03/2011 22:36

Oh so sorry, it's not quite 3 euros an hour,
More like 2.78 euros an hour.

Original poster

gillo98 · 24/03/2011 22:39

im talking about minimal housework and changing babys nappy and feeding him is kinda necessary and is included in looking after baby, not an extra duty...
i kinda think she just came to ireland to see what it is like as she had never left australia...i never saw her being a long term thing anyway...she knows the language and is a teacher in australia. so if we were exploiting her im sure she would have no problem in telling us! :-)

ive been through the schedule on numerous occasions with her and she says its fine so i dont think that whats confusing her. i agree that looking after a 7mth old is tough, but she knew he was that age when she applied.

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 24/03/2011 22:42

I don't think she's confused, I think she has enough to do. I'm surprised you dont think that too.

Your titles suggests you are thinking of firing her for not doing enough housework- that would make you an idiot, you'll never get a slave as cheap as that again.

Original poster

gillo98 · 24/03/2011 22:42

READ MY POST lauriefairyarsecake or whatever .....no-one mentioned a 5am start...i get up if he wakes that early, not her....there is no minimum wage for au pairs....
hmmm someone has got up ur nose with this anyway!!!! interesting!

OP posts:

jenga079 · 24/03/2011 22:46

Thank you cheesetoastie for the information and sorry Gillo for asking questions on your thread.

For what it's worth Gillo, while i am clearly clueless about au pairs, I do think that the hours between 6am and 8am are 'anti-social' (I'm certainly not sociable then!)

Have you discussed all this with her? Your title suggests you're considering asking her to leave. Why? Does she think you're being unreasonable? Do you?

nannynick · 24/03/2011 22:49

She has not done ANY housework, sorry, im mistaken...she has done hoovering ONCE (she's here a month) and the odd time she will unload the dishwasher and has made dinner 6 times...

What are the duties you told her prior to her accepting the job?
Given a lot of the time seems to be when your son is around, there may not be a lot of time to do housework. If housework is done, then care of your son may suffer. So you need to find a balance that works.

Why does au-pair need to make dinner? Is that supposed to be their duty every working day, or only on some days? When you and DH are on lates (if your late shifts are on the same day... does that every happen?), then I expect au-pair makes dinner for herself. When you are on nights, au-pair has free time 1pm-9.30pm, so wouldn't be making dinner then. So I can't see when au-pair would make dinner for anyone other than herself/your DS.
As I said earlier, your schedule is complex so it's hard to know at any given point when your au-pair is at home on their own, or if your or DH are present (or if you or DH are present and awake, which is more important than just being present).

WipsGlitter · 24/03/2011 22:51

Have you outlined what cleaning you expect her to do? And when you want her to cook? What time in the morning us she expected to take charge of the baby? If she is getting up with up at 6.30/6.45 (hence the need for the monitor) then I would call that unsocial hours!

nannynick · 24/03/2011 22:55

Can I suggest that you make it clearer as to what your au-pair is actually working, as I don't understand and I expect others might not either.

If the au-pair has the monitor, then they are working as they are on-call for the monitor - in my view.

RumourOfAHurricane · 24/03/2011 23:03

This reply has been deleted

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ohnoshedittant · 25/03/2011 00:16

So she works between 32 and 40 hours a week looking after your son and you are complaining because she isn't doing housework as well?

-'there is no minimum wage for au pairs....'

There is no minimum wage for au pairs set in law, but surely you don't need a law to tell you that this is unreasonable...just use your common sense! Where's your moral compass?

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 25/03/2011 03:29

'an official website' - which? Link please.

Does she hold a nationality other than Australian? That may complicate things.

FWIW Irish salaries are typically lower however the issue isn't necessarily the pay.

You don't seem very clear on here about what you need her to do and when. Is this well outlined in your contract? Does she have a schedule with a list of expected duties?

Do you expect her to help out as an adult living in the house with cleaning etc? If so, have you made that clear on top of the childcare duties? I don't see why she would make dinner for example.

If she has the baby monitor in her room and on overnight then that's not fair. Is there a way you can rejig that? Would she really not hear the baby wake?

sunnydelight · 25/03/2011 03:44

She is providing childcare at times that would be impossible to cover otherwise unless you had a nanny, and it sounds like she gives you the flexibility you need. If she has to take the monitor into her room then she is possibly being disturbed at night too. I think you need to be grateful for that tbh and stop getting stressed about what she isn't doing - I can't imagine you would have too many people lining up to replace her.

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