should my childminder be charging me if she cannot take my ds due to her lack of disabled access?

[jenniferturkington]

My ds has just had an operation, leaving him with both of his legs in casts for the next 6 weeks. He usually goes to a childminder one day a week (my dd goes 2 days). We said we would not send him while he is in casts as her house has a lot of steps, and she doesn't have buggy space etc for him. We had assumed she wouldn't charge us for this period, however we have just received an invoice charging us in full for the days he will miss.
I'm not really sure what to do? We would send him if possible! What do childminders think? There is nothing in the contract about this.

So you were going to have six days off with your son, and now you have found your CM won't bear the financial loss you won't?

I do think expecting the poor woman to struggle with him and two two year olds on the school run is mean, and dangerous. There is no way I would agree to take a child in plaster on a buggy board either - what if he fell off and broke his neck? What if she did her back in and couldn't work for months? I think there's some seriously irresponsible suggestions being made here.

Not really relevant to the thread I know but your DS may surprise you how much he can do in his casts depending on the reason for surgery of course. My DS had tendon releases in his Achilles tendons and was in casts for 6 weeks. The hospital painted a fairly bleak picture of 6 weeks stuck at home doing very little when in fact he was hardly held back by It at all. A week after surgery I went to collect his sister from her friend, looked out of the window to see him bouncing on the trampoline with them. He wore through 3 sets of casts in the 6 weeks.
Hope he recovers quickly

I agree with minderjinx

As a childminder (not a nurse) I would not feel confident caring for your son and no you cannot really ask her to change her usual routine to fit in with his special needs.

You say 'In the house there is little extra care needed' so there is some extra care needed and also does she stay in the house all day? I'd assume with 2 toddlers and your DS she goes out to parks and toddler groups etc which may be busy, she may have to follow him round to ensure he doesn't take part in any activities that may hurt him and I think she is well within her rights to be very reticent to take him (assuming she could get him there in the first place) in case he sustains some injury. And to ask her to stay in the house all day would not be fair to her or the parents of the other children.

I can see that the whole situation is very hard for you, but at the end of the day you very sensibly decided not to send him until he is better and you shouldn't let the cost implications affect your decision.

cant see why a 2 year old cant stand on a buggy board, to allow child in plaster to sit down

My dd who's 2.6 recently had two ops and is in her spica cast for 16 weeks. Her nursery couldn't take her because it has too many stairs and they couldn't give her the extra care she needed. I ended up negotiating with them and paid them half of the money instead of the full amount. V annoying but they do have a policy for illness/sickness so couldn't really do much about it :(

I think you need to supply any equipment that the childminder needs to be able to carry on as normal, not all childminders have a triple buggy, perhaps you could enquire with a local twins club for a loan of one.
If it was me I would still charge you, and I wouldn't except the child if I was unable to supply the care needed or if i didn't have the necessary equipment.
Could you perhaps hire an emergency assistant for her from an agency or a temp nanny for the 6 weeks.
How much warning did you get that the operation was happening, just wondered why you hadn't sorted this problem a while ago with your work. Do you have a partner that can share the care, I thought every parent was allowed a certain amount of time off work for their children.

you said you wouldn;t send him. She didn;t say she wouldn't have him. If you had asked her (or ask her now) she might find a way. Or you arrange to be late in one day a week and drop him off afetr the school run then see if there could be someone at her house to look out for him whilst she does the afternoon shcool run.

This came up on aibu recently. The parent there said she spoke to either OFSTED or the ncma (think it was OFSTED) and was told she didn't have to pay, but the childminder in question had refused to take the child. Sorry - can't remember all the details or find the thread. I was surprised they'd got involved but assumed there was more to the story than the parent thought relevant.

Perhaps giving the NCMA a call would clarify your respective positions, but I'd talk to your childminder first to determine the situation (i.e. Can she take DS or is she refusing? Can you negotiate with her?).

Thanks again for all of your responses and thoughts. As I said in the OP, we had opted not to send ds for those days as I thought there is no way the childminder could cope with the additional needs i.e. another non-walker for the school run or other outings. I still don't think it fair on anyone to send him, and I was never going to ask her to have him but was more trying to make the point that I could turn around to her and say he is coming anyway.
I guess I was being naive in thinking she might be a bit flexible with charges. I am certainly not going to take this up with her, she is a fab childminder and I don't want any ill feeling to arise from this.
I could not plan this in advance with my work- I am a supply teacher, I work 2 days a week when my children are both in childcare, if I can't work, I don't get paid.
As an aside, pre-school are thankfully happy to have him as normal, this is a sanity saver for ds who frankly is bored at home (we can't really do parks etc at the moment).
kandinsky that is exactly the op my ds has had (just this Tuesday), yesterday I watched him jump off our garden wall We are off to get the casts further reinforced later today!

could you send DS for a shorter day starting later so that she is back from school run & pick him up before she does p.m. school run?

Dropping off after school run or 2yr on buggy board seems the easiest solution

Obv no one wants their child to do nothing for 6 weeks and be totally bored but surely allowing them to go on trampolines or jumping off Walls and then needing their casts replaced and poss damaging theirselves isn't a good idea as could make recovery time longer

I think it's fair enough that she charges you to be honest if you are choosing not to send him - it's like any other illness really, just spread out a bit. My DS was off nursery for two weeks because he was in hospital - I expected to be charged for the time and I was.

CMs are still running a business, however lovely they may be

Blondeshavemorefun - bizarre as it may sound but in these cases the consultant encouraged DS to be as active as he felt able to avoid too much muscle wastage. She was extremely happy to replace the casts as often as required and it definitely did not increasae recovery time.

JT if you want to ask any question regarding the tendon release pm me or through this thread as I really didn't know anything about what to expect.

Is his operation part of an ongoing disability related condition, JT? Recovering from an operation isn't really the same as being pemanently disabled - it's a temporary accident /illness that could happen to any child / parent.

If it is part of an ongoing condition then this, dear reader, is why parents of disabled children are POOR in comparison with other families, and why motability, a Blue Badge and DLA isn't some fabulous extra perk.

If he will have ongoing treatment needs then you probably do need to find a CM who can accommodate him.

Blu DS was born with bilateral talipes- I have noticed before that your ds also had this plus further limb conditions I think? Therefore yes it is an ongoing condition which in all likelyhood will need further interventions throughout childhood.

blondes the consultant has not encouraged rest- we are able to get the casts changed as needed- they are realistic about how easy it is to stop a 3 year old.

kandinsky how far along the treatment are you now, is it going well?

JT - it's really tough, isn't it, because if you are anything like us, it doesn't meet DLA criteria, but you do constantly lose out. (not that DLA anywhere near compensates for the impossibility of working). DS had his leg in a fixator and cast for 9months, and my dp and I both had to reduce our work contracts significantly so we could look after him - though he did go to school after the first term.

If it's talipes, shouldn't this surgery sort him out? Fingers crossed for you.

Not saying they need to bed rest for 6 weeks but seems weird to allow more chance of hurting theirselves via trampolines etc

Obv walking and getting about are a must :)

Glad casts are easily replaced :)

Could be worse. Could be summertime

Not saying they need to bed rest for 6 weeks but seems weird to allow more chance of hurting theirselves via trampolines etc

Obv walking and getting about are a must :)

Glad casts are easily replaced :)

Could be worse. Could be summertime