What would you do... 2nd child on the way, and I need some help...

[jos1]

I am expecting my 2nd child in Feb. First will be 2 then. We can afford to get some help, but don't know how best to spend the money. Should we spend it all up front and have a maternity nurse to tide us over the 1st six weeks (I'm having to have a caesar so will be limited to what I can do in those early weeks)? Or do we bite the bullet and get an au pair (if so, where are safe/good places to look?)? Or do we get live out help on a daily basis? Any thoughts? Unfortunately, both mum and mother-in-law both just diagnosed with cancer and undergoing chemo/ops, so can't rely on family support in the foreseeably future. Please can someone suggest where to start? Thanks!

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hmm i think that i would go for an experienced maternity nurse or something for the first 6 weeks,

after that time you will be taking it in your stride!!! or... can then change and get a nanny/au pair.

i think it'd be nice to have someone completely qualified and experienced to start with who knows exactly what they're doing with a little baby...

what about a doula who can come in as a secondmom to mother the mother..they can help with baby and your older child, do a bit of cooking etc and are experienced so are also there for all those niggly worries that always arise and seem so trivial 6 months down the line.. i`m not sure where you are but in london the general rate is £10 p.h and will do a minimum of 4 hrs a day...sound any good..plus i used to work as a night nanny and would work 9pm -7 am to help the mother get some sleep and also would bring the baby to them for a night feed and i would give an expressed feed/bottle ..

2nd c/section harder to recover from imo - I would spread the cash and get a doula/mother's help for 3 months rather than a maternity nurse for 6 weeks. Tea times were the hardest time of day, if you're only getting p/time help! I got a former au pair with baby and toddler experience through an agency, though it was a while before I left her with either on their own.

And a really light double buggy - I think that was what gave me trouble, rather than the lifting.