Advice from CM's and other parents on settling in period please.

[briskwalk]

Our 12 month old DD starts with a CM in 2 months time and the CM has asked me to start thinking about the settling in period. I have some idea of time scale and number of visits etc I would like but would like to get some professional/ parent's opinions on what would be an adequate settling in period.

Also, how many visits should I stay for? Is it best for me to leave as soon as DD seems ok or should I stay for at least a couple of sessions?

DD will be with CM five days a week - 8 till 4. Thanks all!

i would start off with you staying with DD but trying to remain 'invisible' for half an hour so let the CM take over and then once you know DD is happy to play there leave and plan for about and hour. stay local and have your phone on. if all goes well with first session then for the next session i would just drop her off with no hanging about and plan for a couple of hours then just build up from there. take your cues from DD. i would start about 2 weeks before she is due to start full time and try for at least 3 sessions each week building up to what will be a full day on her last settling in session.

I always prefer the parent to decide on the settling in process because it benefits them as well as the child and they know their own child best.

I am always happy for them to have as long as they like. Small children don't understand that it's a process leading to mum leaving so keeping it short doesn't help them. I prefer a nice long process so that the child feels relaxed and comfortable with me and my home before he or she is left.

I have had a child who had 1 hour to settle in and another who visited for four weeks before being left. Neither process was right or wrong and nobody can say that the child would have settled more quickly of it had been different.

My advice would be to go with your instincts, accept that your DD will cry at some point, and don't go for full days too quickly. 8 til 4 is a very long time for a new child and she will probably get very tired very quickly. I would suggest at least two half days before a full one.

When you do leave make sure you say goodbye and once you have done that don't hang around.

I find it helps if the child has something which smells of their parent to snuggle up to in the early days so a tee-shirt you've worn the previous day would be a good thing to leave in the bag.

Also depends whether your DC is used to being left at all - if not then settling in over all longer period of time- 3 weeks or so would probably be worth it - my boys had about 3 or 4 short days before going back.
also suggest if possible when you go back to work take some annual leave so you can have some short weeks to start with

Has the cm not told you what her settling in policy is? All cms i know have a policy and they tell you what they would like to do.

I offer 2 x 2 hour settling in sessions. First one i ask parents stays and they kind of justr sit about in the back ground and let me take the lead. Second i ask parent to leave. I don't charge for these. I have never had a child need longer than this to settle with me, nine times out of ten they have aldso already been for a couple of visits with their parent/s. If they needed longer i would of course offer that.