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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Original poster

Childminders - if a colleague gave notice on a child, would you be wary of taking it on?

20 replies

SilkStalkings · 21/03/2011 16:35

Just asking because my CM gave notice today as she is finding my DS too hard. He is 2.7, has a bit of a language delay and does have the odd irrational tantrum, doesn't do sharing and doesn't follow instruction v well. He is also quite heavy and strong. Most of the time he is delightful, plays well by himself and is very pleasant company.

If you were one of her colleagues would you be wary of taking him on? Haven't asked anyone else yet as am scared we are unofficially blacklistedSad.

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justaboutsmiley · 21/03/2011 16:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 21/03/2011 16:54

The only 'blacklisting' that goes on in our area is if the parent is a bad payer (indulges in bill-quibbling, bounces cheques, never has the money on the day it's due)in which case none of the CMs have any reluctance in saying 'don't touch with a barge pole'

Hope that puts your mind at rest

Booh · 21/03/2011 17:06

Silkstalkings that sounds like a normal 2.7year old boy TBH!

As another childminder, the only families I avoid are the bad payers.

minderjinx · 21/03/2011 17:20

I think you should be fine if you are honest about what your son's behaviour is like and why your last CM felt she could not work with him any longer. Sometimes it is more about the mix of ages and personalities than about a particular child as such and a different CM would not have the same concerns. I also think it is very positive that you do actually acknowledge that your son's behaviour can be challenging at times; a good CM will want to work with parents to address these sorts of issues.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 21/03/2011 17:25

I agree, MJ

Good luck SS

LesbianMummy1 · 21/03/2011 17:49

Not sure where in Hampshire you are but I am in Portsmouth and have a vacancy if you need it. I had similar situation with a child I knew and I recommended another childminder to his family and two years later he is very settled.

Original poster
SilkStalkings · 21/03/2011 18:05

Thanks all, you've given me confidence to try. I just find them all so intimidating cause they all stand together in the playground (can't really hold that against them though LOL.)

Lesbianmummy Need a very specific school pickup in Southampton but thanks Smile.

OP posts:
KatyMac · 21/03/2011 18:15

TBH (& this is so wrong/unreasonable/bad of me so please forgive me) knowing someone else couldn't cope would make me want to ensure everything was in place with lots of backup plans & partnership working (with you as parent) so that it would work

I am such a bad, bad person; good luck

Original poster
SilkStalkings · 21/03/2011 18:42

That's fine, I'd be up for that but honestly he's not that bad, just need someone with a bit more experience in SALT/SEN issues or even just boys.

OP posts:
LisaD1 · 21/03/2011 19:07

I'm an ex CM and had a similar issue. I looked after a little boy who was lovely but very hard work from my point of view. I had my own child who was younger than him plus a couple that were older, he was very demanding, had only been spoken to in Polish so had no idea what I was saying half the time, would often just scream or cry for large chunks of the time he was here, I could guarantee he would do this as soon as the other little ones fell asleep which would result in all of them waking and being grumpy. I persevered for a couple of months, all the while speaking/working with his parents, and eventually we all decided he and I did no fit in with what the other needed. I introduced them to a friend who has been CM for 15 years, we were all totally honest about the situation. She still looks after him now, 3 years down the line, he is a lovely, lovely little lad, we just weren't a good combination.

new2cm · 21/03/2011 19:16

"unofficially blacklist" only for non payers.

SiltStalkings - If you repeated to me what you have written here, I would - if I could - accept to care for your boy, so long as you have settled all payments with your previous childminder!

Childminders rarely turn parents away unless they are freeloaders - that is, go to one childminder, not pay, get given notice, go to next childminder, not pay, get given notice, (repeat until used up all childminders).

Good Luck! Smile

LesbianMummy1 · 21/03/2011 20:28

SilkStalkings please ring your local family information service. I have just got back from our local ones update and they now have a list of specific childminders with sen training and who offer tailored care for children they will hopefully have a list if not pm me an i will give you a contact number of somebody who can help

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 21/03/2011 21:21

I wouldn't not take your son on. But i do think you should be honest with new cm, as if she knows your cm she may already know why other cm gave you notice. PLus i think being upfront would help her plan for things with your son.

I don't take kids if i have been told parents are non payers.

thebody · 21/03/2011 21:25

total sympathy with you and agree with all the other cms.. bad payers definatly blacklisted and serve them right..

your ds may just need a cm who 'jells' with him or a less busy setting...

anewyear · 22/03/2011 10:35

I have siblings who have been with at least 2 other minders in the village,
(I didnt know this at the time of taking them on and was'nt mentioned by the parent either, was told by other CM's)
and on their 3rd when CM had to partially give up CM due to grandchildren issues.
We've had to work thro a couple of issues, but otherwise they're fine with me!

So yes as long as you told all, I would take him on for what its worth.
As some one mentioned it could be they just didnt 'click' it happen's.

Original poster
SilkStalkings · 22/03/2011 16:12

Yay, spoke to another CM who has spent time with DS and she was lovely about him and interested in having him in the autumn at least. She also hadn't heard the news so my CM mafia fears were indeed unfoundedGrin.

OP posts:
LesbianMummy1 · 22/03/2011 20:10

Glad you got something sorted Smile

grandmainmypocket · 25/03/2011 23:10

Good luck.

I think as a childminder, it would be the bad payers I would avoid. Also parents who indulge their child and everything is ok.
grrr sorry. Having minor issues because one of my mindees doesnt ever acknowledge a single instruction I give, apart sit down to eat please.

I really wish you well. I think the age combinations in the setting also make a difference, as someone said. My little boy is 2yr 6months,so couldnt have too many little kids as he would have to be careful and calmer. So think it depends on the setting and the experience.

Really wish you the best

ayla99 · 27/03/2011 17:16

I have received warnings from other childminders but although I appreciate their comments I prefer to make my own mind up. To be honest, I would be keen to offer you a place - sometimes a different setting can make all the difference. That's not to suggest there is anything wrong with the previous setting, just that a different mix of children or routine can sometimes help.

Every child presents different challenges and rewards; knowing what the challenges are before the child starts can be a great help!

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 27/03/2011 17:23

You may find that the other childminders feel she doesn't handle him the way they would and would love to have him - many of them like a challenge Grin

I hope you find someone lovely who has a vacancy now, who just 'gets' him :)

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