Seeking your advice on 3.3 yr old - you've got more experience of kids than me!

[pipkin35]

Just had a revalation. I should be asking people who've had years of experience working with all sorts of different children. I did post the other week in behaviour/development but not had much success with the responses there.

DS is 3.3. Goes to nursery 3 full days a week. Seems happy there and key worker tells me there's nothing too worry about except this issue that I'm posting about. I was thinking maybe he needs more time with just me, but she reckoned he actually needed less.

Issue is - how best do I encourage/help him to play alone? He rarely 'plays' with anything. He's not a physical boy, but is verbal/reader. This might be my 'fault' with the PFB syndrome, or just how he is - who knows?

So, he won't do crafts/painting/baking for more than 2 mins. Likes to be read to, but this is because an adult is on hand. Enjoys toddler groups/gyms etc...only for 10 mins before getting 'kicking can' syndrome.

Best when he can use his imagination - role playing (no need for props or clothes) - "You be Woody, I'm Buzz" - he could do this for hours, and is happy and engaged. BUT, I've things to be getting on with and an active 2 yr old DD too, and she is much better at 'getting on with stuff'.

Any ideas on how to 'teach' him to play alone? I think I've been almost too hands on and am now 'suffering' as a result...
Sure many of you must have to juggle/deal with issues like this?! Esp. as a CM/nanny as opposed to a nursery.

Prehaps you could get him a sheet and encourge him to make a den in the living room, then you would come back in 5/10 minutes and play in it with him. Or give him plastic plates/bowls etc and suggest that he makes you a nice meal then tell him youd be back in 5/10 minutes when its cooked to 'eat' it with him. Sit him at a table with playdough and do the same, ask him to make you food or something on his own, then after a bit you can go back to him and play together for a bit.

Id start off with letting him play on his own for short periods of time so he knows that you will come back to play with him, then gradually increase that time.

Playing alone is a skill which needs to be developed. The only way it really can be developed is by giving the child time free from adult stimulation. It's good that you're recognising it now as I had to wean a 7 year old off constant adult attention and it wasn't fun!

Targeted play where you still direct what he's going to do and then come back is a good way to encourage independence so 'can you do this jigsaw while I....?' and then come back and do something together. Then you can increase the time 'can you do this jigsaw while I....and see how many you can do before I come back?'.

Eventually he will build up a repetoire of things that he can do by himself. I think once he learns to read independently that will also help as that's a very good independent activity.

Can you get him playing matching games where he has to spot letters/words?

Imaginative role play, if this is his preferred form of play, is very difficult to do by yourself however it's not practical for you to be playing with him all the time. Maybe your DD will join in these games as she gets older!