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Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

au pairs dos and don'ts

6 replies

clare21 · 18/03/2011 15:09

Our first au pair starts at the end of the month, and I wondered if anyone had any tips. We've never had live-in childcare before so are wondering about things like food / visitors / phone use. They'll have their own tv and wifi. I'd like to draw up some guidelines so we all know where we stand.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Strix · 18/03/2011 16:37

Do a search on "house rules".

I give mine a phone (if she needs/wants it) and £30 top up per month. In return I expect her to answer it or call me back.

Visitors are welcome in my home, but I ask them to ask me first if staying the night, and only allow same sex friends or relatives. (although have been known to relax this rule since I had one tell the vicar he couldn't come over 'cause I wasn't home Smile)

For food, she makes her requests on a list, and we add it to the weekly shop the following week. If she asks for things verbally in the morning, I don't spend my lunch hour procuring it for her.

I bend over backwards to keep the kids out of her room in her non-working hours.

I also buy her a nice gym membership, which I understand is everyone's favourite part of my job. Grin

Basically, try to respect her, but expect her to do her job.

CrystalsandDiamonds · 19/03/2011 01:51

i worked as a demi au pair for a family as i needed some where to live and they were the best, they had a manual that they emailed me before i accepted the job.

It contained what was expected in detail
visitors
meals
dutys - cleaning and what was expected
personal time off
spelled out overtime pay and working extra hrs
the goals for the kids this year like spelling and learning the time
routine
when the do things etc

it was brilliant and it was pretty long at over 50 pages but i went into the position nowing what to expect and it was great as there was no hidden surprises

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 19/03/2011 05:04

I think communicating your expectations before starting is a must and keeping the lines of communication open. If they're expecting that they can have friends to stay whenever for weeks at a time at your expense and you're not okay with that then they need to know that now!

Make sure they've had a chance to read through the contract well before arriving so they can ask someone in their own country to explain things if necessary. I think it also reassures parents to see the more formal arrangements like pay, holiday and notice written out.

Have a manual with every possible bit of information written in it. It's invaluable even when you speak English fluently to have step by step instructions for the complicated washing machine or want to know what a child finds comforting, such as a special toy or story. If you don't speak the language then having something written to refer back to becomes all the more important.

Food - they should be welcome to eat as you would expect your own teen/young adult to eat, which doesn't necessarily mean what they want when they want if you want them to be a good, healthy model fir the children. I'd also advise coming up with a system to clearly mark food which is out of bounds to them.

Visitors - it's up to you again what you feel comfortae with. Most people say no overnight guests unless you've met them/they're family and only for 1 or 2 nights at a time.

Phone - investigate a calling plan which includes their home country. Providing a cheap duty mobile is a good idea as it also ensures they're contactable. Tell them you don't want to hear the house phone ringing all day and all night, that it's your house phone too so they shouldn't tie up thd line and when they're on duty they're not to be on the phone, unless babysitting and the children are in bed. Most use skype these days anyway so encourage that if they have wifi access.

aliceinlalaland · 19/03/2011 09:16

Great thread. That manual is a brilliant idea - I wish I'd looked into all this before getting my first au pair. We're on number 3 at the moment and struggling a bit. The first two were brilliant but I think that was luck to be honest and it obviously makes sense to iron all this stuff out at the start. I will be drafting my manual this week!

clare21 · 19/03/2011 13:09

Thanks very much everyone, I'd better get started on this. Hadn't thought about writing things like how to use washing machine down - but it's a great idea. Also reminded me about kids + tv watching and stuff, better to have it all in writing before we start. After all how on earth is an AP going to know or remember if it's not written down.

OP posts:
CrystalsandDiamonds · 19/03/2011 22:05

not sure if this will help but some things you should think about including

. family contact details - who to ring for what
. school contact details
. introducing the children
. the family rules
. encouraging good behaviour
. the reasons the children normally dont do as they are told
. helping the children do as they are told
. descriptive praise
. explaining the techniques they use to encourage good behaviour
. managing misbehaviour
. explaining what they use depending on what behaviour
. current skills they are working on
. outings
. what to take on an outing
. places to go
. safety on an outing
. swimming
. bath time
. general hygiene practices for the kids
. cleaning

  • dishes
  • vaccuming
  • cleaning clothes . children's meals
  • breakfast
  • snack
  • lunch
  • snack
  • dinner
  • dessert . school run . emergency situation ie fire, allergic reaction etc . home entry policy . taking unpaid leave . overnight visitors . local transport that she may use ie what buses/trains take you where ie shops, school, parks, etc . punctuality . appropriate dress . managing privacy on and off duty . expectations of you opposed to us . curfew and house rules
  • general curfew info ie what time you need to be home if you are working the next day
  • rules on going out and dating ie safety, who u cant bring home etc
  • safety
  • house guests . telephone and tv
  • rules on long distance phone calls
  • talking on phone while working
  • using ipod while working . computer and internet usage . food rules . electricity ie lights, heating etc
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