CM Club: I know a child is leaving in a few months, but not sure when....Advice re notice please

[Numberfour]

I will be asking the mother over the next day or so if she has any idea when she will be giving me notice.

My concern is that this drags on a for a few months during which time I could be searching for another child to fill this space.

Has anyone else had similar experiences of waiting to be given notice? How have you handled it? This child makes up a large portion of my monthly income and I will have to replace that income almost immediately.

Then the ball is in your court. Give her one chance to tell you when she intends to give notice and after that you tell her that you will be actively advertising for a replacement and will give her the required notice when it happens.

Are you able to have both outgoing and uncoming mindee at the same time?

It's harsh, I know, but equally, I think it's a bit unreasonable of her not to give you definate dates.

Maureen is right

Thanks, MaureenML. That's good advice. I cannot have an overlap due to numbers changing in May.

The family will be relocating probably during August so I expect to lose the little one shortly before then. But you are right: I will ask her for the information and then advertise in earnest.

Thank you

I do not want to come across as being too hard, but I have to look after my family first. They had a rather horrible experience at another CM so will not be happy for me to give them notice and I would rather avoid this. But, on the other hand, I would much rather avoid a drop income!

Thanks KatyM. Excellent advice I think!

If you want to keep things as pleasant and calm as possible, do you know of another CM, that might be able to help out in an emergency, just in case there's an overlap?

I can understand, that her relocating means she might not know exactly when yet, but it could take you a while to fill the space. She also has enough time to factor in her own emergency cover, if needed.

Thanks again, Maureen. There is another CM locally who mum uses if I am unavailable. I will bear that in mind.

i had a parents a couple of weeks ago come to me and say i a throw away manner "we are thinking about reducing childs days with you to 3 days as mum wants to bond with child) child is 2yrs old mum has been poorly but is a SAHM
i did ask which days he would like to drop but he was very vauge so i decided the best days the child would like to do re groups and children i have and wrote parents a letter to say from 21st March your childs days will be xxx and the cost of those days will be xxxx and gave it to parents

sometimes they just need a nudge

I agree, dmo! I think I will phone mum tonight - DS is off ill today and she did not send her child to me and will be waiting to hear from me about tomorrow anyway, so the opportunity will be there.

Sorry, but you already have a rough time estimate don't you? The parents didn't need to tell you anything at all, really, but they have kindly warned you that in about 5 months they will be relocating. They could have kept quiet and just given you the minimum notice (1 month or whatever you have in your contract) and you would have been in an even worse situation.

I understand that you need to look after your own family first, but this attitude does leave a sour taste in my mouth TBH. As long as she gives you the required notice there isn't really much for you to complain about, and quite frankly I think it would do your reputation a lot of harm - as a mother I wouldn't go near a CM that I had heard had pre-empted notice like that.

Thanks for the input, chitchat and bringing. I appreciate your thoughts.

I expect the poster had often gone out of her way to help parents in the past as we all do... late pickups.. oops I forgot to pay you.. e.t.c!!

of course the parent only needs to give 4 weeks notice as does cm but the relaionship is often very close and I dont feel that for the parent to give the cm as much information as possible so she can fill her space'totally sucks'

pehaps the last two posters are in the happy position of being financially secure and dont really understand what it can mean to a cm to have unfilled spaces for a long time..

Wow, the body - big assumption to make, she may also be a parent that has always paid on time, has never been late, and has been very flexible for the CM. There's no way of telling what type of parent she is. I think it's very sad that your immediate assumption about the parents is such a negative one.

And me? I'm in a position where I have done my best to give my CM as much notice as financially possible when I realised I needed to reduce my days because I couldn't afford to keep the days, but was also willing to change days (and have done so with a lot of juggling at work) if it helped her get another child to mind. It's not necessarily a one way street, you know. A lot of parents are as flexible as they can be for CMs as well.

But that's the problem - as much notice 'as possible'. The mum knows roughly when the move will be, but doesn't know exactly when. So if she can't give an exact date she is to be penalised for being upfront and honest?

There isn't anything wrong with the CM explaining her situation, and asking for something more definite. But to give a pre-emptive notice as was being suggested? Yes, that idea does suck.

Ok I'm going against the grain but must say, I'm shocked at most of you other CMs (agree with most of you most of the time, just not on this occasion).

I'm with the last couple of posters who say that the parent was kind to give so much notice in the first place, they could easily have left it until the required notice period then told you. I'm shocked anyone would think of giving notice earlier :( It MAY be that the OP has been having nightmares with this parent but I don't know this so I'm going by my thoughts from what is written in the OP.

I'll tell you my situation..........had a mindee since 8 weeks old, they are now 4. This time last year I was told that she most probably would be leaving me after the August because of moving to private school. I was gutted but understood and just said to say once she knew. This changed, then changed again, then changed.....then near the time mum said she couldn't move her just yet so said would do next year (i.e this Aug/Sept). Again, I don't know for sure if they're going, they are waiting on school allocation locally then will decide whether or not to go private, whether or not they will get her taxi'd here at 4.30pm each day so she can stay here etc etc. Yes, I'd LOVE to know what's happening as having lots of enquiries for September. However, I'm not going to insist on anything as she was lovely enough to keep me in the loop the entire time, even if it did keep changing . I just kept saying 'as long as I get my 1 month notice, you're doing what's been asked of you'.

So at this stage I STILL don't know what's happening but hey ho, all will be clearly at some point soon. In the meantime I just tell those who enquire that they can go on my waiting list.

So what I'm trying to say is I DO understand the frustration of not knowing BUT I think you're lucky you even have an idea 5 months in advance! You can always tell people who enquire that you may have one moving in 5 months so can keep in contact.

Right, said my bit, dashing off for pre-school/nursery/big school runs :)

of course its all about flexibility and of course as long as cm and parent stick to the contract then thats what counts..

sorry chitchatin, didnt mean post to come out rude its just that in these times money is tight for all.. (parents and cm) and can understand cms anxiety but of course that goes with being self employed..

wow can now see both sides of the argument!!! strange.. am normally so pig headed.. lol

This thread has really struck a chord with me. We're moving in July, date TBC as we don't have a house to move to. I told my CM this as I thought that if she had enquiries about the summer holidays then she would know that she would have my Ds's space to give to someone else. I could well imagine otherwise that she would have turned them down and then if I'd only given 4 weeks notice in June then she would have lost the replacement. Given that we'll be paying fully for DS until we move, I don't really understand how this might jeopardise our CM's income.

I'd also really like to think that despite the contract that we have, that I'm trying to do the right thing by my CM who is fantastic and we don't really want to lose

The idea that my CM would consider giving me pre-emptive notice has come as quite a shock!

I am in the position of possibly being made redundant and (may) have the option of taking it voluntarily. However, things are all up in the air...

I thought I was being helpful by informing my CM of this possibility as it would mean I would no longer need her (wonderful) services for my two pre-schoolers. I realise how important the (seemingly huge amount of) money we pay her each month is to her own finances and how eager she would be to fill these spaces if/when my 2DC do leave.

However, having read this thread, I am now considering saying absolutely nothing at all until my position is finalised - if she gave me notice I would be totally stuck for childcare and not in a position to take time off work to sort a replacement. I imagine she may already be getting enquiries about spaces for September - when my DC would leave - but perhaps she has people wanting the spaces already so would feel happy giving me notice to safeguard her own position...

Scary idea!

Think about it the other way; you have a job you know you might be losing it in a few months but not when. You won't be getting redundancy or anything; someone offers you a job starting 6 weeks before the other job ends. Do you take it?

cairnterrier - you have told your CM July, so she can work to that month for filling her spaces. If you had given some vague date in the future, or even 'Summer', what would she say to someone who came and asked for a space in August?

Personally, I would keep the space for the existing parent, but would be EXTREMELY grateful if they could give me a month asap and a specific date at the earliest opportunity, so I knew when my spaces would be available. People do phone up all the time for future spaces and I like to be able to tell them if I have any. If I could not pin them down and then they suddenly said "We are leaving next week, but remember we gave you notice back in March", then I would be VERY upset.

Numberfour - you know these parents best and how it is likely to go.

Dysgu - I have one parent who is on notice too and doesn't know what's happening but I know everything she knows! I'm very grateful to her for letting me know and although yes I have been having phone calls, I've just put them on my waiting list and NO WAY would I get rid of this current family because they 'might' leave. I do understand we're running a business but must say I am surprised at some of the responses on here. And this is coming from a very skint childminder who has a husband who was made redundant in Oct 09 and still can't find a job!!!

An important part of running a business is maintaining a reputation. Giving parents pre-emptive notice may give you a short-term gain but what is it going to do to your reputation?

Unless of course you lose your house because you can't pay the mortgage

mranchovy - I very much agree with you there. In the past I've had 'better offers' etc. but a) I wouldn't do that to a child/family just for money and b) I'd worry about my reputation.

Katymac - I do understand what you're saying but if that was the case and I was THAT desperate, I'd have a chat with the family explaining exactly that and that I need a date ASAP for that reason.

I have considered all opinions here and have had a re-think! I won't be giving this family notice to take on someone else. It would be very unsettling for the little boy who is very shy and I have known the family for a long time.

Without sounding precious, I am not worried about the damage to my reputation, but I would be concerned about how the family would find someone for a short period of time and I would be concerned about the little boy and the set back that leaving me might have for him (might, not would).

The family need to give me 4 weeks' notice and I have no reason to doubt that they would not honour that. I think, in retrospect, that my initial post was because I was panicking about the loss of income. However, even before this child leaves, I have 2 part timers starting who will bring in just about the same amount as this child does.

I will ask the mother to keep me informed of what is going on (she did not volunteer the information about the family moving away: I asked because I knew it was possible due to their circumstances).