Caring for older child whilst mum giving birth....

[deliakate]

For one reason or another, the two close friends we have made since moving to this area 18 months ago will not be able to look after our 20 month old son when I go into labour with no. 2 at the end of May. No family about in the position to either.

So, DH and I were wondering about other options - specifically a (maternity) nanny, doula or other. We have set money aside for someone to help us through the first couple of months too, so it would be a bit longer than just for a week or so. And it could even continue indefinitely after a few months dropping down to say 2 mornings a week.

My questions are, does such a person exist? Would they be able to be "on call" for incase labour starts suddenly, in middle of night etc? Would I be best off going through an agency? I don't want someone to take over too much, because I loved the bonding time with DS, and would want to do pretty much all the baby care. Just have someone to help out and play with 20 month old, and be very flexible - not just there for the newborn iyswim?

Thanks guys, any advice appreciated :)

I guess a postnatal doula might be prepared to do that- just need to ask them
Have you considered a home birth -
my mum came and stayed for a week when I had DS2 -which worked for us

Talking from an agency point of view, i think that your needs would be better suited to a doula than to a maternity nurse.

My friend is a doula and main aspect of work is with mother and labour and post natally with all family

I was a doula/ mothers help for a friend a while ago. I wasn't trained at the time but I was her birth partner through labour and stayed with the older sibling when she had to go to hospital after her home birth. It was all set up privately though and done as a favour so I'm not sure what you would ask an agency for or how much it would cost.

Maybe try searching yourself through a doula association or the Doula Directory :)

Thanks, so is my impression correct that a maternity nanny would want to be heavily involved in the new baby's care.

As I plan to breastfeed, I'm thinking the baby will just be next to me most of the time.

Sorry, should be a "?" after my first paragraph.

yes you are correct. I did a similiar job a few years ago to get experience with new babies so you could consider a trainee which would keep the cost down and they could also entertain your older child.

I think depending on which area you live a doula could charge around £15 an hour and a mother's help quite a bit less.

i am a nanny. i did a 6 week temp job many years ago. mum was pregnant and had a 3yr old and instead of getting a mat nurse she wanted to look after the baby but have the 3yr old 'get some attention' with a nanny. for 3 weeks mum was pregnant. i was live in so while i did have set hours, i was also aware mum was due to have a baby and she went into labour in middle of the night. she and her husband when to hospital and the 3yr old was still in bed and i was in the house and looked after her as normal the next day (if she was younger and woke up i would of looked after her). mum came home the next day. i did help a bit (you cant help bond with a cute tiny baby) and i helped the 3yr old change a nappy and we took her sister for walks to give mum a break etc. it was good for me too as it gave me a bit of experience with a newborn and gave mum a bit of a rest. my main focus was the 3yr old and it allowed her the chance to still go swimming and things like that while mum concentrated on the new baby and relaxed as much as she could. i left when baby was 3weeks and mum was still on mat leave. it worked well for all off us.

sorry for no paragraphs