separation anxiety

[ojmummy]

My DS (14 months) goes to CM 2 days pw, he has always cried when I have handed him over. The CM says he always settles within about 5 mins and that he is then fine for the day (unless tired in which case he can be upset - but he is like this for me too).

This past few weeks he has started crying as soon as we pull up at the house though and is getting very very upset.

I trust the CM so I dont have any doubts over the care he gets, its just upsetting for me to have to leave him so upset.

I also put him into the creche at the gym sometimes and he is the same here - gets very upset but then they say he settles fairly quickly.

Any tips on how to ease things for him or does it just have to be accepted as being one of those things, until he grows out of it?

I am a cm and this is very very common at this age - there's really not much you can do but he will get used to it eventually. It's actually probably worse for you because you have to see him crying rather than the 5mins later when he is fine.
I tend to text mum at the moment the child stops being upset, describing what they are up to, for instance, 'X is absolutely fine now, happily playing with the push-along toy'
This sets mums mind at rest and hopefully she won't have to think about that upset face for the rest of the day - maybe your cm could do this?

When i worked as a nanny, i would deal with separation anxiety with a child this age by...

1. Consistently ensuring mum says something like (in a confident happy tone) "I?m going to xxx now but I?ll be back at xxx!! You're going to have such a fun time with xxx!" Kiss/cuddle and then goodbye.

1. We would wave goodbye to mum and then i would focus on distracting the child. If they got upset, I would reinforce what mum had said and then re-distract. For older children, It might be a nice idea to ?make? a picture for mum etc.

It's important that your DS doesn't see that you?re distressed as this will send a message that there is something to be distressed about.

Separation anxiety is very common with this age group and will get better!

Good luck :)