Au Pair agency outside London - can anyone recommend pls

[clarkey46]

Hi, I am looking for an agency that can provide good aupairs outside London. I have had 5 with varing success.Mostly good. the last two were Swedish and there excellent standard of English is very helpfull. The present AP is only 19 ( most swedish APs are) and doesnt have a sccoby doo !! I work from home 50% of the time and spending my time following her around redoing what she has done even down to the washing up. Also 19 means that we have lots of teanage issues like having to go in and clean the bathroom after she has been in there. Eting what I would consider to be treat food . Grrrr.
DDs are 12 and 9 so need older person I think. Any tips greatfully recieved.

I used an au pair database called Au Pair World dot net. We now have a lovely Spanish au pair who I picked myself. The problem with agencies is you spend a lot of money registering, but there is no come back if things go wrong. With the database you can put up a profile saying what kind of person you want, even specify an older girl, and mention your routine and what you expect. The au pairs do the same. I found it easy to weed out people who weren't suitable for my circumstances, because of their age, that they failed to mention anything about how much they loved kids, what they could offer, as well as wanting to learn English and experience new cultures. Our au pair had the foresight to travel to London, so I was able to interview her, introduce her to our children and watch her responses, and she was able to see our home and where we live too. Also, I find it's best to lay down the law as soon as they arrive, then there is no room for doubt later on. Nineteen does seem very young. After all, you want an extra pair of hands, not another child! Best of luck, Lousymumdotcom

most recruit on a nationwide basis - have you tried Abacus in Brighton?

Did you not find similiar issues with your other au pairs, out of interst? (We're on number two).

Our AP is 19 and great - I don't think it's only an age thing. Our worst nanny by far was in her forties.

We havnt really had it this bad before. You have to be flexible in your thinking I think. Ie accept that it is mildly irritating to have someone in your house but that is not their fault. I have always been of the opinion that if they are good with thekids they can get away with alot. Our first AP was slovikian and great. Understood that I needed help. The last girl would only do as much housewok as she had to and not brill at that but was excellent with DDs and very organised. We used to call her the mangement ! She was only 19 but had been make to take responsibillity at home. I think the prob with the current AP is thaht she has been indulged at home Never had to lift a finger to help and so doesnt know really what to do. I have tried really hard to support her but 6 months in I still have to rehang the washing, empty the mop bucket, explain that it is not acceptable for DD to not take a drink to school. Her cooking skills are non exist ie she cant actually even seperate an egg without help from DD age 9. Leaves lights on everywhere, breaks glasses etc etc. Generally doesnt take any resposibillity or interest in anything that isnt to do with Kings of Leon. I think there is a general disconm=nect with what she expected and the reality of being AP. She says she expected more CC but I dont think she had really thought about what she was going to do at all. The first time was asked her to babysit she told us she would do it another time as she was busy. I was ready to let her know it wouldnt work bu DH fekt we should plow on. I am sick of hearing my own voice and she must be too so I have stopped. I am just trying to see if we can learn some lessons for next time. She leaves in 3- 4 months so I want to make sure the next AP is what we need. Sorry this has turned into a rant but as you can imagine thsi is a constant pain.
You are right though it is not necessarilly to do with age but a persons attitude to the job.

I think there are some things which can improve the chances of having a responsible au pair. For example if both parents have worked (so they haven't always had Mummy around picking up after them) or they've lived on their own/away from home before then they appreciate that things don't do themselves and that they need to pitch in. Previous au pair experience means they don't need telling about drinks to school etc.

Is she generally incompetent or in serious need of micromanaging?

Agencies aren't necesarily the answer but most do recruit and place nationwide. Greataupair.com is quite good for older candidates and they seem to have a generally high standard of English.

Feel free to rant away - better than letting it fester!

Have you used great aupair. I have registered with easy aupair but my inbox is being bombareded with people that say they want to go to other countries and dont really fit the criteria I put on there. People have suggested a couple of agencies on here. I had a bad experience with gumtree where we interviewed the girl and offered the job but She just didnt turn up. As for AP. I think it is a mixture of incompetance and general lazyness. She is a very sweet girl , though very immature. She has learnt alot since her arrival but it has been very hard work. She had never ironed, washed and clewarly doesnt know what to do with the kids.I have wondered if I expect too much but I dont think that expecting a frying pan to be grease free after she has washed or that she remebers to wipe the wooden bathroom floor after she has had a shower it is too much.

There have also been some quite amusing things too. I managed to stop her putting th table mats (cork) in the dishwasher, luckily she hasnt killed anybody before I realised that she was refreezing thawed food and watching my kids show her how to bake a cake was very amusing. We have met her parents .They are very pleasant proactive peopele !

Thanks for letting me rant. H is sick of me moaning. I have told him that next time I will act on my instincts and we will act in the first month as I cant go through this again. I also think I will do some thorough competancy based interviewing ie ask them about the meals they can cook, washing they have done etc. May be a little mad but you do need to be sure they come with some basic skills.

Did you use abbacus. I did speak to them last time ans they seemed very impressive. Perhaps I will give them a go.

I'm currently using GAP among others and I like it better than APW or EasyAP. My list of questions (although I'm after an experienced au pair plus/aspiring nanny) includes a fairly hefty section on cooking/cleaning etc - mostly baby related but it gives a good idea if whether they've ever lifted a finger before.

I use Abacus. I really like Debbie there, so far so good. For me the fees are the right level relative to the time it saves me (about £260 per candidate.) SOmething far north of £300 might incentivise me to try the websites again.