Childcare options - considering a nanny (Oxford)

[comixminx]

My DD is 6 months old and I'm considering returning to work in about July, when she'd be about 10 months old or so. I've not yet heard from the nursery I've got my name down with (it's a workplace nursery specific to my employer, very well thought of apparently), and I've tried contacting a few childminders, to no avail as yet.

I'm considering going down the nanny route - I wouldn't even have thought of this as it seems so "posh" but various of my friends have done it earlier, money permitting. I've spoken to a local nanny agency and it all sounds like there's a lot of help / handholding available, which is great as this is all new to me.

My hope is that it will be:

• easier to organize (so many childminders have no spaces and it seems like they don't always get back to you, presumably because they are already busy)
• more flexible time-wise for me - I'll be home on Mondays and my DP will be home on Fridays, so we'd need childcare over Tuesday - Thursday and I'm not sure that the work nursery will offer that; am also not sure if a childminder would be very inclined to do that sort of split?
• presumably a nanny could be requested to bring DD to me at work, so that I can bf during lunch hours? She's being weaned via BLW so it's the old "food is for fun until they're one" - ie not much is being actually eaten at present!
• if we manage to have a second baby in a year or two then presumably the nanny could look after both (the agency suggested that a small payrise would be in order but that this would be fine in principle)?

What experiences have others had with making this sort of decision? Obviously we need to check the finances to make sure it works in our overall household budget, but if it does, it's certainly very tempting. What sort of ups / downs have people had with nannying vs other options, and what do nannies on the board reckon to this sort of work & setup?

bump

Please read Examples Costs of Employing a Nanny and other message threads about the costs incurred when having a nanny, so that such costs don't come as a shock to you later on. Especially understand about being an Employer, how to operate PAYE (I suggest using a payroll company for the first year, then decide if you can do it yourself once you have seen how it's done).

Finding a nanny to work Tuesday-Thursday may prove as tricky as finding a childminder to work those days. In my experience 3 days of work isn't enough for me to pay my mortgage and bills, whereas 4 days is enough. It will obviously depend on the individual nannies circumstances, some may well want only a 3 day job or they may already work 1 day a week and want another job to fill some of the other days.

presumably a nanny could be requested to bring DD to me at work, so that I can bf during lunch hours?

Yes but it may not be that practical. Your DD may not want a feed at that time. Travel to and from work will cost money. What if DD wants a feed at other times, won't be able to just pop into work as and when they feel like it, will they?
Give it go by all means, see how it works.

Nannies will care for all children in the family, so yes a second baby will be fine. However that DOES NOT come with an automatic payrise. The agency I feel are wrong there. Once DD goes to school, does the nanny then get a pay drop? Hmm, doubt the agency would say that was fine!

If considering having another child, consider what happens when you take maternity leave. During your maternity leave you may not have much income but would still be employing the nanny. Can be hard to justify that but good to keep the consistency for DD and can make things easier during pregnancy and first few months post childbirth.

The agency have sent along a table of costs so that you can see what the net cost per week of eg £220 would be to the employer (£284.91) but I'll also look at that other thread, thanks, to see what else there might be.

My mum has looked after DD a couple of times recently when I've been doing KIT days, and she's given her expressed milk during the day and I've fed DD at lunchtimes which has worked reasonably well at this point. Of course some months down the line, DD's schedule for bm might have changed. The travel costs wouldn't be massive as it's a short bus ride away (or a nice walk if liked) but yes, something to consider.

Thanks also for the point about employing the nanny during mat leave - hmm, yes. An argument for a short second mat leave, I guess!

Hmm, yes, definitely other costs that I hadn't considered on that other thread! Many thanks.

Use PAYE Calculator by MrAnchovy to do Net to Gross. Things will change in April with the new tax allowances and NI rates.

The table the agency has sent you is based on 647L taxcode. While most fulltime employees have that code, not all will and part-time employees certainly could have a different coding. So steer away from NET pay. Agree the Gross figure. Then you just need to consider adding the cost of Employers NI.

The good thing about employing a nanny (over and above a nursery or childminder) is that you do have the chance to find a nanny who meets your requirements perfectly.

You will obviously need to pay for any travel to and from your office at lunchtime, but you?re bound to find a nanny shares your views and who is more than willing to do this.

With regards to having another baby, like other jobs, if the job spec is to increase then it is common for the salary to increase accordingly. An excellent agency will offer all the advice you need and hand-pick a small choice of nannies who are keen to work in the proposed role. (The cost of an agency can vary greatly so do shop around and ask for recommendations!)

In terms of cost, as nannynick has said, make sure you talk in GROSS rather than NET. Although TheNannyTree and some other good agencies are trying to change the habit, most agencies will be talking in NET so be careful because this makes it hard to work out a total!

Find an agency that will help you agree a GROSS salary with your nanny and that way (once you?ve added on employers NI) you know exactly where you stand regardless of their tax code etc.

You also need to consider the responsibilities you will have as the nanny?s employer (see HMRC), where as a childminder would be self-employed so you wouldn?t have these responsibilities.

We've tried all sorts of childcare, and I have to say I have mixed views on having a nanny. Having someone arrive at your house each day can bring its own stress. I found myself making sure the place was tidy all the time because I did not want her judging me.

And, be specific about the sort of things you want her to do - as soon as she arrives. If you want your child to go to playgroups, do structured play, cooking, etc., then make sure you put this on a rota pinned to the wall so there is no doubt. We were rather too easy with our nanny and she ended up inviting the same dreadful mother with her kids to endless coffee mornings at our house. And we all know that means.... the children are running amok while the women are chatting, so a) it's hardly structured and who knows what your child will get up to b) that means there is someone else's view on your housekeeping to worry about and c) if anyone is having a coffee morning at your house - it's going to be you!

Despite all this, we treated our nanny really well - she was paid well, we gave her presents each week and emphasised our gratitude. Yet, she was unable to talk to us when a "problem" occurred. Instead, I'd get home after a long day to find she'd emailed me a list of niggles - which really annoyed me.

I also found the thought of people seeing someone other than me or DH pushing our child around town difficult.

Having a nanny was supposed to make life easier, but I found myself increasingly concerned. About two months after we parted company, she announced she was pregnant, so imagine if we'd carried on regardless, we'd have been forced to pay her maternity leave in addition to being dissatisfied with the way she operated.

Best of luck!

Lousy Mum

LousyMum, sounds as though you didn't have a great experience with the particular nanny you hired. It is useful that you have highlighted some of things you feel didn't go well, as that can help other parents consider those factors when employing a nanny.

In my view it is probably best to iron out a lot of things before the nanny even accepts the job. If there are specific things you want a nanny to do, or not to do, then let candidates know about those things prior to interview.

Maternity Pay: If a nanny becomes pregnant and if they meet the criteria for getting Maternity Pay, that cost is recouped from HMRC at 104.5% - see SMP Recovery. It does mean getting a replacement nanny though for the maternity leave period which can incur extra cost. As per any other employer, having a member of staff go on maternity leave can cause problems for the business.

I am a CM (in Oxford as it happens!) and I always get back to people, even if I am full.

I don't think a CM would hesitate to take on a Tues-Thurs mindee, I personally would jump at it as I prefer not to have mindees that come 5 days a week. However, as CMs are (generally) only allowed to have 1 under 12m at any time this means it's harder to get a place for that age-group.

What hours are you requiring, is it a regular 9-5 job you have? For an only-child a nanny would be rather expensive, if you had two children then it would be more reasonable.

Personally I wouldn't have the money for my DD to go to a nanny, and at 10 months I would prefer a CM to a nursery (that's just my preference rather than me telling you that you're wrong etc).

I would continue to contact local CMs, things change very quickly sometimes, people you have contacted a couple of months ago that were booked up may not be now.

Good luck!!

My childminder would love to work Tuesday to Thursday! A lot of CMs in my area don't actually work 5 day weeks anyway, so you might as well try. I think for 1 child a nanny is a very expensive option.

Thanks everyone who has replied, nannies and CMs and parents alike! glad to hear that CMs would consider Tuesday to Thursday - I guess I was being needlessly pessimistic.

If I was getting someone to come to my house I'd need coverage for about 9 - 6 as I leave for work at 9:15 or so and either me or DP would be back for 6 pm. If I was taking DD to a CM or a nursery then I would obviously need to leave the house a lot earlier. I agree that the nanny option would be rather more expensive, and we need to work out if it would be in the realm of the possible or not.

Lollipop, I guess you don't have a vacancy for an under 1 yr old do you? Thanks for the heartening words about retrying CMs. I need to cover all bases I think but it's all a bit daunting.

LousyMum, shame you had a bad experience with your nanny. I am not houseproud at all so I hope I would not worry about her judging me, but it's hard to know until it happens!

Have you considered asking around and trying to find a nanny share? Or, being open to a nanny with her own child? These are both ways to cut the cost, and usually fairly easy to find in the Oxford area as there are a lot of nannies looking for employment at the moment.

The real advantage of having a nanny is that when your child gets sick you can still go to work, unlike a cm or nursery. If you or your DH's work would be fairly flexible about emergency parental leave though, then you may be paying for a level of service that you don't really need.

I'd started to think that I ought to ask around to see if anyone fancied a nanny share, so that's now prodded me into doing so - thanks! How does one work - is it that you share days with the other family (so that I have 2 days and the other family has 3, for instance) or that you share time with them (so that both families are being looked after the nanny at the same time)? I assume the latter but don't at all know how this stuff works!

Good point about a nanny with her own child - hadn't thought of that as an option.

My work will often but not always be good about emergency parental leave, and DP's will often not be good about it but might sometimes be fine. I think the extra flexibility would be good, though it might not strictly be necessary.

There are ads on Oxford gumtree at the moment where families are looking for others to share with them. Worth a look perhaps.

Comixminx - I have sent you a private message, but the answer is yes, I do have a space from Tues-Thurs available at the moment

Just thought I would add I have had no problem getting a childminder from tues-thurs for my baby who will be 9mths when he starts all 3 I short listed to visit were more than happy to do those days and charged same hrly rate for part time as they would full time (and we are only use for 9hrs a day also)

Thanks for the feedback, nightnanny! I've now more or less ruled out a CM on the grounds that there is only 1 very nearby, and 1 other a little bit nearby (both are not available), and then all the others "nearby" are inconveniently located for us to get to them. We've found a possible nursery which is happy to do those days though, so it's looking good so far...