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Original poster

Tricky one - something a parent has asked me nnot to do

31 replies

ACMDowding · 04/03/2011 08:16

"please don't let my son play with the buggy"
"I don't appreciate sitting in my living room and seeing him wwalking down the street pushing a buggy with a doll in it"
"I'd appreciate if you could hide it away"

Answers on a postcard pleaseGrin.
Seriously though, what do I say? I said initially that I had toys for all ages and genders and that I didn't make a child play with any toy, they choose what ones to play with. that's when he said the above comments.

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HouseGirlfriend · 04/03/2011 08:22

Was this mum or dad saying it? Talk to the other parent? Do you look after girls at the same time? Can you say you can't hide it because of them?

I suppose as its their child and they're paying you you've kind of got to go along with it..But I would try convince them to let him play with whatever. You see dads pushing pushchairs around while mum is at work or sleeping. These very helpful men may have been brought up pushing buggys as young children and I'm sure their partners aren't complaining!

Agree its a tricky one..!

RealityIsKnockedUp · 04/03/2011 08:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ACMDowding · 04/03/2011 08:26

I have a girl part time, although haven't had her this week. I have the boy full time. The toys get rotated, as he'd have every toy box emptied, so the buggy and doll and kitchen etc were out Monday and yesterday. We went for a walk and I saw no harm at all in letting the boy (3) push buggy. Dad saw us from house window and wasn't happy.
The mum doesn't mind and has told me she wants to buy a kitchen for the 2 brothers but the dad won't let her.

OP posts:
HSMM · 04/03/2011 09:00

What would they like you to say to him? You can't play with that, because Daddy doesn't like it?

HSMM · 04/03/2011 09:02

You could show them your buggy in public risk assessment?

MogadoredMemoo · 04/03/2011 09:04

Tell him Ofsted have told you it's a vital part of the Childs development and that to not allow him to play with them would stunt his emotional development.

LizaTarbucksAuntie · 04/03/2011 09:06

Reality - arf!

Sounds like the Dad is an enlighted and very positive influnence on his children.

Haven't you got a play beauty salon you could let him loose with?

purplepidjin · 04/03/2011 09:23

Next time let him loose on the dressing up box before you go out Wink

And find a more tactful way of telling Dad he's a sexist, chauvinist pig!

drinkyourmilk · 04/03/2011 09:45

I agree with the equal opportunities framework approach. You are obliged not to gender stereotype and therefore cannot put the pushchair away. However i would also tell him that in respect of his wishes then you would be happy to keep the pushchair within your grounds (ie can't push it down the street) if he would be happy to provide a formal letter of request. Then if OFSTEAD ever say anything then you can show them you are trying to provide care mindful of parental wishes.

somersetmum · 04/03/2011 09:57

Ask him if he has never pushed a buggy with his children in it? Daddies push buggies too and everyone needs practice. lol

I have to add that my dh was a bit like this, more than a decade ago, when ds was young.

On ds's 3rd birthday, ds received some cash through the post, so we went to the toy shop and said ds could buy whatever he wanted. He headed straight for the buggies and got a cute little blue Mamas & Papas one Grin

somersetmum · 04/03/2011 10:00

.....with a dolly in it, of course Wink

AmazingBouncingFerret · 04/03/2011 10:05

Can you not pimp it (the buggy) up so that it look a bit more masculine?

Wink
BoysAreLikeDogs · 04/03/2011 10:10

you cannot agree to that

I'm off out but I'll be back later - have you an equal opps policy that you can invoke?

I'll pop mine up here later if you've not got one

Original poster
ACMDowding · 04/03/2011 11:30

The buggy is blue. The doll is blue. Well she's not blue, she's black but she's wearing blue clothes. So technically it could be a boy doll!Hmm

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 04/03/2011 11:41

how silly Hmm

assuming if she had a dd, that she couldnt play with cas and garages?

dribbleface · 04/03/2011 12:02

Really, how silly. i agree ask him if he had never pushed DS in a buggy when small? My Ds has a babydoll as his comfort object (he is 2 1/2), he loves it and i see nothing wrong with it.

nannyl · 04/03/2011 12:42

Would just say no way.... im not allowed to sexually discriminate between the children i look after (and laugh)

If they dont like it they can find someone else to look after their children.
All my boy charges have LOVEDS their dolls buggies, and have been for many happy walks with them.

Have never stopped them, i encouraged it and i wouldnt change because of some narrow-minded dad.

FourFortyFour · 04/03/2011 12:45

My dh has been a bit Hmm when my boys have played with a buggy and doll, asked for toy kitchens and had nails painted but I just told him not to be daft. He would never ask me not to let them though.

chabbychic · 04/03/2011 12:53

You have to say no. Don't you have an Equal Ops policy that she's signed?

Parents can't dictate things like that.

Original poster
ACMDowding · 04/03/2011 12:54

Picture in your head the stereotypes of a soldier - all hard man etc. Well he is that stereotype. (I'm allowed to say that as from military environmentGrin)
I am picking child up from nursery in about 15 mins and am taking doll and buggy with me to push on way back

OP posts:
apotomak · 04/03/2011 14:53

I would just say it's good he plays with the buggy so well ... he has a great male model (dad who pushes him in the buggy)who he copies ...
Some parents hey? Shock

BluddyMoFo · 04/03/2011 14:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maidbloke · 04/03/2011 22:14

OK so dad is a little, err, old fashioned. Hmm But he is your client, so I would do as he requests. It's not as if it's going to be very difficult to comply with his wishes. Just keep the buggy in the house.

I doubt he's going to care very much what any equal opportunities framework says.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 04/03/2011 23:00

um no maidbloke

the rights of the child to play freely and make choices are paramount

FreudianSlippery · 04/03/2011 23:02

OMG this parent is a nutter.

My 18mo has his own buggy and loves it :)