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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

CM Club: Work a day out of goodwill or not??

25 replies

Snooch · 02/03/2011 10:32

I look after a little girl Mon-Thurs and sometimes the occasional Friday if her mum asks me and if I have no other plans for which I charge per hour (i.e. this day is not contracted).

The family have been on holiday for nearly 3 weeks for which I have of course been paid as per our contract (I do not get paid for any holidays I take). Anyway, they get back on Friday morning and before they left I offered to take their little girl that day in case they wanted to rest, unpack etc (they would have just spent 12 hours on a longhaul flight). Her mum just called from abroad to ask if they would have to pay extra for that day, over and above what they have paid me for the time they have been away, and I started to say yes, that as I was not obliged to work that day, I would charge as I would normally do, but we got cut off and she texted to say that she would try call again later.

Now I'm feeling bad and thinking that maybe I should offer my time for that day for free out of goodwill seeing as though I've basically had a 3 week paid break!! I suspect that they feel the same and are expecting me to work for nothing, but at the same time don't want to resent my decision nor do I want to set a precedent for future! What to do, what to do.....

What would you do...?

Gotta go out now for a bit so please excuse me if I don't reply straight away!

OP posts:

Summerfruit · 02/03/2011 10:37

Ermmmmm ! She has to pay you my darling ! You have no obligations to work ! Just because THEY have choosen to go on holidays has got nothing to do with weither they should pay you or not. Imagine if you had another child to care for at the same time, you wouldnt have been in holidays ! She wants care for friday, she pays for it.

Friday is your day off!!!

Summerfruit · 02/03/2011 10:41

But saying that, it would be interested to have other views ! Bumping for you !

nannyl · 02/03/2011 10:42

Yup they have to pay you....

I worked for free once... i did a 4 day week, and my charges grandparents funeral was on my day off. All other family members (including the other grandparents) were at the funeral and there was no one else to have the children.

i did not want any extra £ to allow my bosses (who were always really good to me, gave me extra days holiday and early finishes etc) to attend the funeral. Had also in the past, been allowed a 'free' day off to go to funeral, so felt swings and roundabouts applied.

PoledrathePissedOffFairy · 02/03/2011 10:46

As a mother who uses a CM, I'd expect to pay you. It's in the contract that I have to pay a decreased rate when I'm on holiday - that's my choice.

My CM is lovely, and does bend a bit for me (doesn't charge if I'm slightly late back for example) and I do the same sort of thing for her ( e.g. pick up early if she needs to get away for an appointment) but I would never expect her to work a day without pay!

Original poster

Snooch · 02/03/2011 12:08

Thanks everyone....yes Summerfruit, THE Friday issue again...!!

Pole, it's always great to get a parents perspective, thank you.

I'm going to say that I will charge for Friday if they need to me to work that day....I think it really is the nature of the business that makes it so difficult - like most Childminders, you build up a friendship with the parents and a bond with the child so it can be difficult to draw the line at times.

OP posts:

muddleduck · 02/03/2011 12:13

I'd say it depends on the 'balance of good will'.

My CM has done 'favours' like this for us in the past, but then equally I do her 'favours' by being flexible when she has plans. It is all give and take and keeps us both happy.

But if it is generally 'all give and no take', or if you're worried that this would be seen as a general policy, then say no.

Jojay · 02/03/2011 12:17

AS a parent I'd expect to pay.

Summerfruit · 02/03/2011 12:40

Yes Snooch, you have been really helpful to her in the past, now it is time to draw the line !!

PositiveOutlook · 02/03/2011 14:37

As a mum I always paid my cm as per our contract. But as a cm I would expect to be paid but I know if one of my parents asked in these circumstances I would not charge and then resent their cheek.

PositiveOutlook · 02/03/2011 14:38

As a mum I always paid my cm as per our contract. But as a cm I would expect to be paid but I know if one of my parents asked in these circumstances I would not charge and then resent their cheek.

Original poster

Snooch · 02/03/2011 16:26

That's exactly it PositiveOutlook - I did think it was a bit cheeky and knew I would end up resenting the situation had I told them that there would be no charge. Still feel reeeeallly guilty though although I know that I'm completely within my rights :-( There IS quite a lot of giving on my side e.g. not charging them on a couple of occasions for late pick-ups (but did do so recently when half an hour late and totally their fault!!), taking child on a few times when ill with a high temp and against policy etc (but mum was really grateful for that and bought me some chocolates to say thank you!). Anyway, I need to stop trying to justify this or I'm going to drive myself crazy!

Missed mum's call earlier so just texted her and said that it would be "the usual Friday charge" and to let me know if she needs me....haven't had a response :-/

OP posts:

Danthe4th · 02/03/2011 16:29

You say you offered before going away, now the mum has rung to check if you would charge. Sounds to me that if its free she'll use it and if not then she may say no thank you. The choice is yours. Personally if I was working and could fit it in I may say come till lunchtime for free and if she is getting tired then to call and take her home. I wouldn't have her all day after a long journey.

Original poster

Snooch · 02/03/2011 16:54

Yeah Dan that's what she was thinking. Guess I should really have clarified that it would be as per normal charges at the time I offered. She is my only mindee so it's the difference between having the day off or not really. She was wanting to drop her off at 10:30/ 11 am and then to have her until 6pm which is a bit disruptive for myself and my two DS. I was considering offering just a couple of hours as a favour in the afternoon for mum and dad to catch up on sleep, unpack etc, so may still do that.

OP posts:

ojmummy · 02/03/2011 17:03

I am a parent who uses a CM.

I would expect to pay for the Friday.

If my CM offered to do it for free I think I would feel very bad saying yes.

If you really want to make a nice gesture could you maybe discount the total day by an hour or 2? (As a parent I certainly wouldnt expect you to though).

ojmummy · 02/03/2011 17:06

P.S. if circumstances were different - e.g. a funeral in nannyl talks about, I would possibly feel less guilty if CM offered a free day, but just for jetlag/unpacking I certainly wouldnt expect it.

Original poster

Snooch · 02/03/2011 17:16

Thanks Ojmummy!!

OP posts:

Blondeshavemorefun · 02/03/2011 17:36

why on earth would you want a tired jetlagged child on your day off and not be paid?

minderjinx · 02/03/2011 18:36

Maybe Mum was checking that you did mean as an extra paid day - perhaps she would feel comfortable about offloading this tired cranky little one on you if it was business, but think it too much to ask as a favour?

dmo · 02/03/2011 23:12

i am bit like that at the mo

little girl aged 2 i have every day barr wednesday and i have her sister before and after school

mum and dad are not english and sometimes communcation is a barrier

mum has just got out of hospital 2 weeks ago (been in there since july)

dad has been juggling a job the children and hosiptal visits so is now behind in payments for about £500

he now said that on March 27th they are going to visit family for a month maybe longer depending how his wife is and that as he is away and not working he cant pay me, i have offered for him to give notice and if i have the place for the girls when they return he can have the place back but no he wants them to still come here

Blondeshavemorefun · 03/03/2011 11:33

dmo - so he wants to go away and not pay but still wants a place when he comes back?

awful that his wife is ill but you still have bills to pay and he is already behind in payments so you will be doubly down iyswim

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 03/03/2011 12:09

I don't work for free! lol You should most definately charge. It's not your fault they have been on holiday for 3 weeks and not using your service.

thebody · 03/03/2011 19:42

flexibility for me is on late pickups or early drop offs once in a while, and give and take during snow. i.e I will pick up from houses as have massive 4x4!!!

(yes no apologies it was fantastic last winter so there tree huggers)

BUT no flexibility on payment.. I run a business not a friendship help club....

charge her.. shes just had a lovely holiday for Gods sake so they can afford it cant they.... green with envy!!

maidbloke · 04/03/2011 23:44

So, what happened today then? For the record I might well have compromised and charged them half price, having just earned nearly 3 weeks of money for nothing, so to speak. Although, as others have said, it all depends on how much give/take there has been in the past.

Original poster

Snooch · 06/03/2011 13:49

Hi all, hope you're having a good Sunday! Just thought I'd let you know what happened...mum came back to me and said to leave it then and that she'll see me on Monday - wasn't prepared to pay the extra. I feel fine with it now actually and not too guilty as thinking about it, a jet lagged toddler doesn't sound all that fun, plus she does have some separation anxiety issues too so probably would have been extra sensitive being dumped after having mum and dad around for 3 weeks! Don't think I'd have enjoyed doing that for free or even at a discounted rate!!

Oh well, back to work tomorrow then - have spent all morning cleaning and prepping - the holiday's officially over!!

OP posts:

maidbloke · 06/03/2011 22:43

a jet lagged toddler doesn't sound all that fun

Very true

Good luck for tomorrow!

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