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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

Mindee playing up and smacking me when mum collects her!

10 replies

Mummyto2xx · 24/02/2011 20:25

I mind a 2 and a half yr old who is very demandng and certainly wears the trousers in her house and is the boss of her mum and dad.

she plays up evereytimne her mum to comes to collect her (which is everyday shes with me!)she screams paddys and runs round my house mad.. oh and she slapps her mum round the face too today after a great day out mum came to collect her and she started paddyin and went to slap her mum and her mam moved then 2 minutes later she slapped me hard in the face..

i was really annoyed and upset by this i wouldnt have my own children do this to me and certainly wudnt have any body elses child doing this,

how can i handle the situation any ideas would be much appreciated, mum was there at the time and dint really say owt to her.

shes a very demanding child still has dummies and nappies but with the attitude of a 15yr old!

look forward to hearing back from anyone else who may have have been in this situation before thanks

OP posts:

BooyFuckingHoo · 24/02/2011 20:28

i have just done my pre reg course and we had a discussion about how to handle this. the general consensus was that when tehy are still in your home, they still must obey your rules so hitting would not be allowed.

in your shoes i would say to the girl "now, X, you know we do not hurt anyone in this house, please apologise" she needs to know that picking up time doesn't mean that nobody is in charge.

BradfordMum · 24/02/2011 20:32

I've had a mindee like this.

When mum arrived at my home, she textedit me. I then put shoes and coat I mindee and took him to the door, where Mum was. She took him immediately and out him in his car seat. She then came back tk me and I filler her in in his day.

He was out of my house, in her care and within sight at all times.

It worked for us.

Sally x x

Original poster

Mummyto2xx · 24/02/2011 20:34

yeh thanks for ur reply, thats what i said to her its not nice to smack Me like that its not very nice but she starting screaming and throwing herself around and her mum was busy pussyfooting around her, she never tells her firmly is always negotiationg with her and pleading all the time with her.

OP posts:

Original poster

Mummyto2xx · 24/02/2011 20:36

thanks sally that sounds like a great idea but i really dont see that the parent thinks collection times is an issue but it certainly is for me i dread it every day :0(

OP posts:

BooyFuckingHoo · 24/02/2011 20:40

i think teh little girl is betting on the fact that mum will pussyfoot and you wont want to step on mum's toes so she pushes her luck. just react how you would if mum wasn't there. i feel for you. i have it all ahead of me!

Original poster

Mummyto2xx · 24/02/2011 20:42

yeh she knows she gets away with it with her mum so tries her luck when she comes to collect her, she knows when shes with me we have rules and wudnt dare slap me when her mum wasnt there, i did tell her it wasnt acceptable and that i wasnt very happy but it went stright over her head

OP posts:

HattiFattner · 24/02/2011 20:46

Id call the mum, tell her that the behaviour may be acceptable in her home,but it isnt in yours.

Then suggest that the child is put on the naughty step for 2 minutes (or whatever sanction you use) and that mum MUST support you in this by....whatever -accepting the sanction, leaving the room, paying no attention, telling her DD that her behaviour was wrong... whatever outcome you desire.

Its been my experience that mums need childminders more than minders need unruly children. Mum must step up to the plate, and you must let her know how things will work from hereon in. If you agree whats going to happen, she will be less likley to pussyfoot around when DD kicks off.

nannyl · 24/02/2011 21:02

have to say i would have reacted the same as if the mum wasnt there.

I dont do "not saying things" cause mummy / daddy is around.

Id also be having a serious chat with mum about the behaviour, maybe in the evening on the phone when child no there?

mrsthomsontobe · 24/02/2011 22:27

I watch a little one who has just turned 4 when his mum picked him up he would start running about house trying to get upstairs which he is never allowed, hitting his mum even told her he was going to pee and then sat on her and peed, it was a nightmare she would drag him out to car kicking and screaming. I spoke to the mum and suggested that I got him ready and handed him over at the door. I told the child that mum couldn't come in to the house anymore as the due to their silly behaviour as it upsets her and until they improved she wasn't coming into the house. I know what time mum is due I have him ready hand him over at door with a quick run dwn of the day. This works for u's and saves the hassle.

Scarfmaker · 24/02/2011 23:19

Mummyto2xx - I've had a few children like this and it is very frustrating isn't it when Mum just stands there trying to 'negotiate'. I've also been kicked, punched, and Mum just stands by probably too embarrased to intervene! Some have said "let her make her decision" or other "oh, he doesn't want to get into car"!

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