slightly peed off with au pair...

[Tanzie]

She spent 5 hours on the phone tonight - between 7.00 and midnight. She knew I wanted to use the phone as I picked up the extension a couple of times (thinking she can't possibly still be on the phone!) at around 9.00, buut she just carried on.

Am wondering if I should say something. She is fantastic au pair, and hasn't done this before, but I did think it was a bit excessive. I did need to phone DH as he is away at the moment and DD1 has been ill. Just thought it was a bit inconsiderate of her.

But maybe her "punishment" will be when the phone bill arrives?

I think it's very inconsiderate of her to do that, but I also believe that you could have interrupted her and said you needed the to use the phone. I would say something on the terms of, I'm sorry but I believe you should not stay in the phone for that long, specially when one of us is out (or away). OR tell her taht your DH rang ou yterribly annoyed because he tried to contact you for five hours and the line was engaged.

I would check first that she hasn't just found out her brother has died or something tragic. Then tell her she will have to pay her proportion of the bill as this is excessive use and that although you do not mind her using phone, she has to remember other people need to use it too.

Tanzie, next time she's on the phone knock on the door ask her to let you know when she's off, and then if she spends hours on the phone again, mention to her that you need her to share the phone with you in the evening. Possibly set ground rule like she gets it from 6:00 - 8:00 and it's your after that?

Tanzie - why can't she use her mobile?

House phone use is always out of bounds for au-pairs in our house unless it is work/childcare related. This saves lots of anguish, both sides.

The problem with asking au-pairs to use common sense and use phone reasonably is that their definition of reasonable will be different from yours.

Worse thing you can do is to first say, help yourself to the phone, and when she does, turn round and say you can only use it for an hour a day. She will just see this as you moving the goalposts/changing the rules, and will probably make sure she does use it for a full hour, everyday, regardless, just because you said she could.

PS. Even if there was an emergency at home, this does not warrant five hours on your telephone.