keeping nanny on whilst on mat leave?

[cherub59]

Who has done it and how did it work for you?

Was it confusing for your existing DCs or did it mean more quality time for all DCs with mommy?

I've had two bosses do it. Worked out quite well I feel for everyone as the older children got to keep to there usual routines, plus have me to do things for them, whilst mum got to rest.

Later on it also meant that mum could take one DC and I could care for baby and other DCs. That way mum could spend 1:1 time with each child.

Baby also gets to know the nanny from just a few days old, so is happier to be left with nanny when mum goes back to work.

However there are problems - the biggest I think is the financial situation, as all costs are still there without mum earning as much as when they were working.

My boss did this as well though we reduced the days to 3 day from 5 in a nannyshare arrangement. The advantage is obv that I had the same quality time with oldest, carried on the same routine, got to know baby from birth (actually from 8 hours old, baby was born at home), baby now joined the share for 3 days. The disadvantage is the money obv for both sides, I got reduced pay while she was on mat leave and she still had to pay me while she was at home, also now that baby is in share the one-o-one attention is much harder, tbh everything is harder but doable. As far as I can tell you, older child benefited of having me for 3 days greatly and having mummy for the rest of the week gave him a lot of support too, it wasn't confusing for him and he loved coming to the share based house as it ment that he still saw his friend.

thanks all for advice! In your experience did mum and nanny spend time all together taking all the kids out together as well or did everyone just end up annoying each other?? whats the nanny view on that?

I've done it

It was great

My kids really liked having someone lavishing attention on them in the first few weeks after the baby was born, taking them out on trips etc

After the very newborn period great to be able to hand the baby over for a bit of jiggling/burping/bathing while you do a jigsaw with the kids or the school run or whatever

much less fraught all round

once baby is bigger you can either all go out together or divide and conquer - take the big ones swimming while nanny stays at home with baby or whatever. Particularly after baby 4, dividing and conquering worked quite well. I find most nannies can't wait to get their hands on a newborn!!

You and nanny and kids all end up going with the flow really but it is a huge help having an extra person there . And when you get back to work there is no drama at all. Highly recommended

I recall we went out together (me, child number 2, baby and mum) once.

So no, didn't really go out together. Sort of defeats the objected doesn't it... keeping nanny on is to help mum get rest, spend time with new baby.

Depends on the nanny - I don't mind but I've done a fair amount if maternity work where working with the mother and the whole family is pretty vital! It's definitely a different dynamic and you'll find ways which work for you.

I don't think you spend much time going out all together. Nanny tends to stick to the routine for the older DC to give mb time with baby in the first few weeks and then as mb feels better she might start going out and about more to regular activities or on special outings leaving nanny to care for baby.

Do be careful if you don't keep nanny on though. They may not be able to find temp work or live on reduced hours (reduced pay) and end up leaving.

have worked with 3mums on ml- all been fine, i get on with what i normally do with older dc and often would have baby as well to give mb a break

in holidays then mb would take older 1/2 out and have some time with them and i stayed with baby

had a few lunches out together

what i will say is that you need to make clear who is in charge (bit like working at home) and that if nanny says something you back them up or its a horrible 3/4/6/9/12mths

Not on the days I was doing a share. But as I was/and still do work with the other child, we meet up on Thursdays at football or at the playgroup and in the playground on Fridays. We get on really well and I don;t mind spending time with her. But when I had her child in my charge, than no, we didn't. meet up and didn't do things together

Actually I think it helps the older child maintain mummy-time after birth, if you can afford to keep nanny on. Baby will be happy with someone familiar who loves him; toddlers will demand Mama.

I agree with the divide and conquer approach. And you need to be clear about which days you are leaving nanny with which child, and for how long, so that she can plan her work.

My nannies tend to work when I'm off work and then I use a nursery for my work days (complex reasons why!!)
Early days we all go out together as you're breastfeeding often, although nanny will go off with one or the other child for a wander, especially if I've met up with friends.
After a couple of months, I would do something with the older child(ren) in the morning and then get on with jobs/rest/going to the gym in the afternoon. I think its really important to have some 1 to 1 with the older children.
As the baby gets older, I'm probably not in the house with the nanny as much, but when I am i always make sure that I back the nanny up on everything - even if I don't actually agree (v.rare).

I am hoping our nanny will stay on whilst I am on maternity leave. She works 3 days per week and we're planning to ask her to continue that.

It will be very difficult financially with me not earning, but we think that the long-term benefits of keeping the same nanny outweigh the difficult financial position.

The way I see it working is she minds our toddler on her working days as normal. Once the new baby is a bit older (say 3-6 months), we'll then build up to nanny, toddler and baby, which is how it will be once I go back to work. I plan to go back to work at 9 months with number 2. Mainly because we can't afford longer.

I think it will be nice to go out together on occasion as it's far easier managing the kids when there are two of you!

Yep - hoping to be able to focus on baby at first and then gradually spend more time with older ones too. Just worried that I will annoy our nanny as she is lovely and want her to stay on! I guess its just difficult feeling your way round the new dynamic!

Not sure if an option for you, I dropped mine to part time which was great, sometimes we did things together sometimes not. However, always v clear on plans etc. I got her to do an evening of babysitting and peed her hourly rate so all in all small change on her side.

Agree with Nick, great not to have any back to work anxiety etc. Later on.