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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

has anyone used a night nanny? i'm desperate!

20 replies

sotough · 07/02/2011 02:53

We have a five week old baby and i'm really struggling and thinking of hiring a night nanny for some respite. for various reasons my DH can't help with the night feeds/settling and i'm shouldering it all myself. i'm getting by on about three hours sleep and not sure how i can go on like this. Having been quite settled for the first few weeks, our DD has become very unsettled and i'm desperate. does anyone have any experience of night nannies? we live in central London. i'd welcome any recommendations for agencies/individuals; and any advice on costs etc. am about to Google. As i type this it's 2.50am - which says it all really. i should add that I'm a mother of two and obviously i didn't expect things to be easy!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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PaulaMummyKnowsBest · 07/02/2011 08:58

I work as a night nanny and I have sent you a message

cestlavie · 07/02/2011 09:14

We used one for DS1, just for one night in the end because we were both soooooooo tired. Did the whole night from bedtime til wake up when he was 3 months old. She was fantastic - very calm, together and helpful. We only used her the one night (bizarrely DS started sleeping better shortly afterwards though don't imagine they're linked). We did use her for quite a bit of babysitting subsequently though. She's based in North London but not sure she's doing night-nannying any more as she had a full time normal nanny job.

The agency we used was Night Nannies. They seemed to have very good press. Can't comment generally, but for us, they were great and provided a lot of good background material on the nanny we used (including qualifications, training etc) even though it was for just one night, including references to call etc. Not cheap for sure, but I guess that's unsurprising.

Original poster

sotough · 07/02/2011 10:49

Thanks cest. i keep hoping if i just keep going things will start getting better, which i'm sure they will but it might not be for a few months and by then i'll be a physical and emotional wreck! one night a week respite would make a big difference,until she's more settled.

OP posts:

eastmidlandsnightnanny · 07/02/2011 13:29

I work as a night nanny and have usually done 2-3 nights a week (one always being a friday as both parents used to like a lie-in and thats been with all families I have worked for!!).

I never appreciated how much that nights sleep meant until I had my own baby 5mths ago and he has been sleeping through since 3and half mths 8-7 but was so difficult when waking every 2hrs and breastfeeding for 45mins at a time.

Def use a night nanny if you feel having the sleep would benefit you as a family, think about whether you would prefer someone for 5-7 nights a week for a couple of weeks or 2/3 nights a week for a longer period which is what all families I have worked with have done as they feel they benefit for longer by having someone for example mon,wed,fri or a tues and fri as they catch up on sleep.

I have also done many odd nights where get a desperate phone call and go and do one night so they get a nights sleep and I am always happy to advise on routine etc in the morning before I leave - alot of families cant afford more than one odd night here and there either.

There are a few night nannies on here so maybe someone on here is available, I am in east midlands if any use to you. If you need to use an agency can recommend www.kidsmatter.uk.com

claire74 · 07/02/2011 13:57

I can highly recommend Nurturing Nannies in Muswell Hill, North London. A fantastic friendly agency, that has helped me out, they're very reasonable to.

good luck, and hope you find someone very soon.

carciofi · 07/02/2011 18:26

I used this maternity nurse when my DD was a baby and she was fantastic. You have me worried as I am expecting my second baby in the summer and am assuming night times will be a breeze!
I may need to call Becky again. Good luck!

MrsTeddy · 08/02/2011 22:12

I can second the recommendation for Becky Bilson, although we never actually met because she was booked when I needed her I spoke to her on the phone and she was incredibly helpful and even the suggestions she gave on the phone were really good.

yousankmybattleship · 08/02/2011 22:16

Oh my God - how spoilt are you? You are only five weeks in - lots of people manage months without more than a few hours sleep!

emsyj · 08/02/2011 22:21

What exactly is the point of your post other than to be nasty, yousankmybattleship ? Just because some people have to manage (or have sleepier babies, or more family help, or whatever) why should the OP not hire some help if that's what she wants to do?

I wish I had hired some help when DD was tiny. I will definitely get help if we have another baby. Will be bookmarking the suggestions here.

yousankmybattleship · 08/02/2011 22:32

To give OP a reality check. Everyone is knackered when they have a new baby. We all survive.

DoubleCrown · 08/02/2011 22:32

Hello Sotough. Used Nightnannies and Sleeping Babies for two whole weeks (guess that makes me thoroughly ruined then). Best money I ever spent -- in particular, Nightnannies sent someone who not only gave me the break I needed to get a little perspective back along with the sleep, but also gave me invaluable help in getting in tune with my child's sleeping/eating needs. By the time she arrived, I was so knackered my self confidence had entirely evaporated, along with my sense of humour and what was left of my looks. By the time she left, I was relatively happy that I could handle the next few months without collapsing.

Ferncottage · 08/02/2011 22:36

We had a night nanny with both children two or three times a week until they were sleeping through at 8/9 weeks - money so well spent - ignore nasty old yousank

sailorsgal · 08/02/2011 22:36

I actually think its about the five week mark that things can become a bit of a strain and nothing wrong with having some support from outside help. Not spoilt at all.

sailorsgal · 08/02/2011 22:37

No they don't survive, they get PND.

CarGirl · 08/02/2011 22:40

If you have a generally unsettled baby etc it's worth taking them to a cranial osteopath - there is one in London that takes donations rather than a fixed price I believe.

If you can afford a night nanny then go for it.

emsyj · 08/02/2011 22:44

I have no idea why you would object so strongly to someone getting in some help. It is a very strange attitude IMO.

thesurgeonsmate · 08/02/2011 22:47

Can it possibly be true that everyone is knackered when they have a new baby and that we all survive? Or could there be more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy ysmb?

CarGirl · 08/02/2011 22:52

I was tired when I had newborns but they all slept for 4-5 hours at a stretch for at least part of the night - huge difference to a whole night of broken sleep.

Mine 95% of the time woke up, fed, went back to sleep easily so it was okay. No spending hours resettling etc etc

HUGE difference in my book.

yousankmybattleship · 09/02/2011 09:19

Sorry - I did sound a bit mean! Was going for tongue in cheek but it just sounded bitchy!!

What I was trying to point out though was that this is a stage. It is horrendous, but you will get through it. It is perfectly normal to feel the most tired you have ever felt in your whole life and to wonder when it will ever end. It does end though and when you look back it seems like quite a short stage.

Children are so expensive I really would think twice about shelling out for a night nanny unless you absolutely think there is no alternative. Just take one day a time and don't expect too much of yourself during the day. I know you have said DH can't help out at night - mine didn't either because he has a very demanding job and needed his brain to be working - but could he just do one night so you can catch up on your sleep?

chitchatingagain · 09/02/2011 12:43

Yes you did sound bitchy, even if you didn't mean to. Not the best of threads to not check your reply before posting!

I had some help, and I would NEVER do it again if I believed I had absolutely no choice but to struggle through it on my own.

But there are alternatives re the TYPE of help. Could you get DC1 into a nursery or some such for a half day or a day a week? For me being able to nap occasionally during the day saved my sanity, and I didn't need someone at night.

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