Aargh - standard notice in NCMA contract

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At work so don't have access to my papers and husband talking to childminder tonight about terminating relationship - does anyone know the standard notice in an NCMA template (I know that is the one we signed) and the reasons a parent can terminate without notice.

(Issue blew up this morning so no time to check)---

Thanks

Will depend what you filled in 2 - 4 weeks is usual. Depends on grievance as to no notice period.

Thanks

Basically situation is as follows (will be long sorry)

Been with CM since last July - DD now 13 months. Has been fine - we have had some issues around hours and telling us info but dd has always been very happy to be dropped off and seems happy on pick up. DH works irregular shifts so we pay for full time place but probably use 60% of that.

Dd has never slept in a cot (we co-sleep) and for naps she used to sleep on bed (until she started to roll) and now sleeps on mattress on floor. Same at CM - slept on sofa bed until could roll and then on mattress on floor in the sleeping room (not main play room).

Last night she mentioned to DH she had issues with DDs sleeping. This morning she said to me that it was unacceptable that dd would not sleep in a cot - that dd was distressed when put in a cot and that was upsetting the other children (p/t mindee 19 months and her son 3.5 years). I did not know dd had been in cot and was a bit concerned that she had been 'distressed'. I said could work with her to use cot for dd naps to get her used to it but it would take time and in meantime did not want dd upset so could she get her to sleep on mattress and then transfer her.

CM said no didn't work for her and she would be in cot and if she cried we would have to come and pick her up. At this point had to leave for work and to let dh deal as would have gone mental.

Also CM raised issue that it was 'not normal' for dd to cry when she went in kitchen and put gate across so she had no access while she was cooking. I said understood that she couldn't have the kids in the kitchen but surely she could pop in and out to reassure and/or put a dvd on for 10 mins (dd would not move an inch in that case). Again apparently no as would upset the other kids. I don't think it is that unusual for a 13 month old to be annoyed/ upset that they can't get to their carer? And surely you just deal with talking/ giving toys/ biscuit/ apple whatever. (She is not like this at home but we allow her in the kitchen as it is upstairs and I can't leave her downstairs).

Anyway now think relationship is over (sad for dd as she likes CM and other mindees). And if she is going to insist on using the cot before she is asleep she can't go there anymore (am willing to work on using cot at home to get dd used to it over time but 'cold turkey' seems a bit harsh as not what she is used to).

Thinking now I am going to go for nursery :(

Suspect it's 4 weeks.

The kitchen thing may be a safety issue but what did she do when your DD was younger? Leave her alone? Normal for your DD to be upset at being shut out IMO.

What's her problem with the mattress? I don't understand that, especially if she's been okay with it til now.

You're probably right to give notice as it feels she's imposing what she considers good parenting on you.

Fair enough to give notice if you're not happy, but these issues don't arrant terminating without paying the notice period. ( or a complaint to ofsted before that's suggested by anyone!).

Normal on contract is 4 weeks. You can take out straight away but the 4 weeks will require payment. Ofcourse you can dispute this but then be prepared for the childminder to apply through small claims court. Its a shame its come to this as she obviously is not working with you and you both have different views. Hope it works out for you x

Agree with Moogster. As for the notice period, tbh it's down to the individual childminder but I personally have a standard 4 week notice period (8 weeks if siblings who are both under 5s)

agree with moogster

you need to pay her notice (which will probably be 4 weeks)

Not allowing a 13m toddler in kitchen while you cook, and putting a baby to sleep in a cot are really NOT valid reasons to be leaving without notice etc.

are you sure you dont want baby to try napping in a cot? Have nannies for babies who only ever co-slept and within a few days they napped in cot (when put down by me, not parents ) without any issues after just a few days....

Hi

Understand the kitchen thing - think she is right not to let her in - just don't think it is 'not normal' for dd to be a bit annoyed by it. Would expect her to have a strategy to work it out.

Re cot - happy to work with her to get dd in a cot and start doing it at home. I thought though a settling in period would be best of getting dd to sleep first on mattress and then transferring her to cot and soothing her in cot if she wakes up (not picking up taking out etc.) CM says not acceptable and as of Monday - straight in cot before asleep and if she cries I will have to come and pick her up as it distresses the other children. I just think that is a big and unreasonable change to our arrangements v quickly.

I think we will come to an agreement - I have paid for this month and she will owe me holiday pay as she has taken all this year's holiday and the holiday year will be June to June. I do think though that she is failing to provide the service we agreed - she knew dd didn't sleep in a cot upfront.

I agree with Moogster too. I think you need to try to get to the bottom of why your CM is no longer happy with your girl sleeping on a mattress (without going mental!). Perhaps it is because DD is more mobile now and CM is worried she will try to get up and fall. Maybe something similar is at the root of the problems with her making a fuss about being shut out of the kitchen - perhaps she was happy to sit in a highchair before but now wants to be underfoot.

It's obviously up to your CM at the end of the day to decide what risks there are and what measures she feels are necessary to deal with them. If you don't see eye to eye on this, then by all means give notice and move on.

I can see your childminders point of view in that a 13 month old is more mobile and there is the safety aspect of sleeping unguarded on the floor.

Does your girl actually fall asleep straightaway on the mattress? At 13 months I wouldn't have thought so. Also, to fall asleep on the mattress and then wake up in a cot would be more stressful wouldn't it? Then there's the transferring issue - there's a chance your girl would wake up and then the childminder has to start again.

Can't you now try the cot option at home so that it's the same as at childminders?

Hadn't thought that waking up where you didn't go to sleep would be more stressful. Maybe try settling in the cot first - has anyone else tried this with a toddler that has coslept/ slept not in a cot before?

I am happy to try - I can see her point that if it doesn't work for her it needs addressing. And if I am going to move to a nursery chances are she is going to have to go in a cot (although I think our local one does sleeping mats on the floor in the baby room). I am just not sure it is reasonable to expect dd to 'get it' from day 1 and not cry or I have to leave work to pick her up. I think the cot thing is going to take me longer than a weekend to crack!

Anyway dh going tonight - I don't think 8am on the run in the best time for a conversation and we were both probably not at our best.

I think you've had a bit of a knee-jerk reaction to a disagreement, which we all do at times!

If she is otherwise a good CM and your daughter likes her, do you think you could make a time to sit down and come to a plan which you can all agree on.

I have had many a mindee settle for me here when they are cuddled to sleep/ only sleep in the car/ breastfed to sleep. Not necessarily straight away but it's amazing how quickly they do 'get' the different rulles in different places thing. What I'm saying is that if you don't crack it at home then it's not to say she won't at the CM's.

Hope you get it sorted.

I think the 'unreasonable' bit the cm'er has said is that she would expect you to come and collect dd if she cries in the cot.