Nannies - When your child goes to reception and you still want a nanny?

[Earlybird]

I have a dilemma that, so far, I'm not solving so quickly.

DD had a brilliant NNEB trained nanny who was with us for approximately 14 months. Our contract came to a natural and amicable end over the summer when we left on holidays, and knew we would be coming back to a new school as dd was entering reception. DD's new schedule sees her coming out of school at 3:00 four days a week, and noon on Friday. With this new school schedule, there simply weren't enough hours for our nanny to earn what she needed to continue with us.

Since early August, I have been working with an agency to find alternative childcare. Ideally, I'd like after school childcare a few afternoons a week from 3-7 (collect dd from school, bring home, play a bit, tea, bath), with the odd later evening of babysitting (maybe 2-3x per month, always agreed in advance). That would be combined with a full day on Friday (arrive in the morning, do some cooking/washing/ironing/sorting out toys,etc for dd, collect her from school, spend rest of the day with her (approx hours 10-6).

The agency is having a hard time finding any candidates. I've interviewed 2 girls, who were perfectly nice, but neither is a qualified nanny. Upon speaking to the agency, they've said that they hope to find me a personable, reliable, trustworthy, experienced babysitter - BUT, that I probably won't get a qualified nanny for the number of hours I require.

I feel discouraged....and exhausted! I don't know if the right person simply hasn't come along, or if perhaps I need to adjust my expectations, and stop hoping to replicate my wonderful previous nanny.

I don't have room to house an aupair, and childminders are virtually non-existant in this part of London. Most of dd's contemporaries seem to be cared for after school by combination housekeeper/babysitters - usually Phillipino. I'm not knocking that solution, but think the right nanny has a vital contribution to make to dd's personal and emotional development, and can be a huge help/support to me as a single parent.

This is a long drawn out way of saying - I can't be the only person to face this dilemma. I value and want the contribution a nanny can make to our lives, but no longer can offer the hours they want. What do others do when they still need childcare, but no longer require a full time nanny? Am I being unrealistic, and must I accept that dd's new schedule probably eliminates the possibility of a qualified nanny?

What about school holidays re childcare

can you find a teaching assistant at your child's school who would be interested? They would probably have the sort of experience/aptitude you are looking for and aprat from the Friday morning chores the times would fit reasonably well (including school holidays) I know that most of the teaching assistants at my children's school are either mothers of school age children themsleves or also work as after school nannies

Have you tried advertising for a nannyshare in something like Simply Childcare? They cover the whole of London. You might be able to find someone who works part-time who could share a nanny with you.

Simply Childcare website is www.simplychildcare.com. Similarly you could try www.nannyjob.co.uk.

If you live near a college/ university you might find a student with the right type of qualifications. We had a French student for a while who did 4-7 for 2 days a week while I worked at home. She was training to be a teacher so had a good understanding of developmental needs. We got her by advertising in the university careers office & on the student union notice board.

Thanks for these tips/suggestions. I saw a nanny today who filled in for us when our regular nanny was on holiday. The fill in nanny works at a nursery, and said she'd also ask around to see if any of the teachers either knew of someone, or might be interested/available themselves.

ok would you be happy for a nanny with their own child...

the reality is most nannies NEED more hours than that to LIVE!!!!
(but nannies who used to be mums are more likely to like working these part time hours!)

also i assume you wont expect the nanny to be availiable if your child is ill until the normal times? if you would expect this then you at least need to pay a teainer for these hours...

also what about school holidays.... would you like the same nanny then?

If you would effectivelylike a school holiday AND afterschool nanny in term time then TBH i think you only solution would be careful negotiation a nanny whose a mum , (or to pay full time, or at least a 'retainer' when child is at school)

Other than that i think the agency is right! You really are UNLIKELY to find a qualified nanny who has no children to work those hours

sorry i meat nannies who ARE mums (not used to be!)

i MEANT even (oops )

You're not being unrealistic - what you want is not impossible, but it is difficult to find. You've gone through all the obvious options - babysitter/housekeeper person, au pair, childminder. MrsW's idea of a classroom assistant is good? - also Simply Childcare too. Also the rather draining route of thegumtree - not that I would hold out huge hope of you finding there the kind of qualifications you'd like.

As a success story, we did manage to find one - a nanny who is planning her own future teaching career, so actively wants school-aged children and needs time off for studying during the day. But - we had to find her through an agency ($$$) and we are paying her what is a generous rate if you were to look at it as an hourly one (but actually she puts us & children so very top of list I feel we actually have & are paying for a genuine full-time commitment).

Have you tried speaking to other agencies? Would you like me to CAT you a couple of other suggestions?

Finally - as difficult as it was for us to find a nanny, it seems it was even more difficult for her to find exactly what was going to suit her. So, out there is someone who really really wants your job!

I found my nanny through simply childcare.

I have term time - after school care til 7

Holidays - full time.

She also covers illnesses etc - but not really used yet.

As I usually don't work Fridays she uses these hours most weeks to do a light clean/washing for us on Mondays.

We had three people respond to the SC ad, all of whom were suitable!

The lady we got is not formally qualified but has grown up children of her own, and has nannied for many years.

What sometimes makes a difference is that hte term time money seems too little - so we annualised her pay so that she gets the same every week, whether she works in term time or holidays!

I know Issymum - I was pretty shocked, as you probably gathered!

Simply Childcare is great for unusual arrangements - much better than an agency I think.
Issymum, come on, Take No Notice!

everyone jumped to your defence issymum, even those of us who 'don't' know you!

and you shouldn't feel like you have to defend yourself!

Dh has a cunning plan to get round this which entails having another baby every time the youngest one starts school so that we will continue to be able to "offer" a full time job to a nanny. As we started having children "nature-defyingly" late (had DCs when we were both 37 and 39) he thinks with some judicious spacing we can get all the way through to early retirement.

People I know at work who are in this position have "nanny housekeepers" who tend to be flexible Antipodeans, who don't mind doing a bit of whatever - schoolruns, looking after the children, a bit of shopping, a few errands like dropping off dry cleaning and a bit of light cleaning round the house and ironing. I think that's what we will be looking for when the time comes.

I've now had a chance to read/digest the many helpful suggestions here.

Mrs. Wobble - not sure about the teaching assistant route, but will look into it. DD has just started at a new school, so I don't really know the teachers or their assistants, and also don't know who may be available for extra hours. Also must confess to feeling unsure if the school has any sort of "policy" about it, but will gently poke around to find out. Mustn't be too timid, but don't want to step on any toes either.

Martini, aloha, and soapbox - hadn't heard of Simply Childcare, so will look into it as it sounds a great resource. Thanks for the tip.

NannyL - given that I'm looking for less than 20 hours per week, I think it would be unreasonable to expect that whoever I hire would be available on short notice should dd become ill. In the past, I have asked whoever was working for us if they could accomodate. If not, the agency I've worked with has usually been able to send me someone to fill in. Regarding school holidays, nannies have wanted to work extra hours in the past, as they saw it as a chance to "top up" their regular earnings. Would hope that could work out again, but if not, would approach the agency for a temp girl who is perhaps conducting a job search. Also, half term I have sometimes been able to ask teachers from dd's old nursery to fill in as most of them are looking for ways to earn extra money when they have time off.

binkie - yes please, CAT me with agency details. I am exploring all avenues at this point, hoping to find what I want/need.....or, waiting to be told that I'm asking the impossible! I'm glad to know you were eventually able to find the right person, and am hopeful I can do the same. BTW - looking forward to seeing you again at the big Mumsnet evening "do" in about 5 weeks time!

Issymum - I'll definitely check out Gumtree. Interestingly, one of the candidates I've interviewed told me she'd advertised on Gumtree, and that's how the agency found her for my nanny job! Your suggestion of a listing under an alternative category is probably an excellent way of weeding out unsuitable/inexperienced candidates. In the past, I've hoped that the agency could do that for me, as we've all heard nightmare stories of hundreds of (mainly unsuitable) responses to an ad. But, your method sounds inspired and economical. Thanks for the tip. Oh - by the way - after your posts about your transition to reception, I now look around the school door for any "working mum" faces so I can make a special point of saying hello/chatting to those who aren't there frequently. They probably think I'm a loon to be avoided instead of someone trying to extend a welcome!

Anchovy - I had to laugh at your post! And I completely agree about extreme strategies being considered in order to keep a good nanny around!

I was spoiled with the last nanny who was absolutely wonderful. She did many activities with dd better than I ever could, and dd thrived under her watchful and caring eye. She also helped me relax as a first time mum when I felt uncertain and wanted feedback/reassurance from a knowledgeable and experienced source. So, it's a hard transition away from a trained professional nanny into a mode of childcare that, I fear, won't be as good. But, I am hopeful that the many good suggestions here will help me locate the right person for this next phase. Thanks again to you all for sharing your ideas and experiences.

earlybird, have sent you a CAT
I think though that I forgot to sign off my message - so if you get a strange anonymous missive about after school nannies, that's me!

EarlyB - I'm watching this with interest. I live apart from DP most of the time so am in effect a single mum.

DD will go to school next year and I have no idea what I'm going to do about childcare. I have a part time nanny at the moment, but we are in Australia, and so when I return to the UK she won't come with us.

Please let us know how you get on.

You might also want to try www.sharingcare.co.uk - links you up with families in your area