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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Warning... Always have a contract when looking after 'friends' children!

5 replies

nancy10 · 02/02/2011 16:29

About 14 months ago I began doing school runs for a friends child. She is also a child minder and at the time was caring for 2 children whose mum was terminally ill. She only cared for these 2 children and was doing more then expected of a child minder e.g taking children to visit their mum in hospice etc. She didn't want to take her own child with her so asked me to collect her 3 evenings a week. I was happy to do this and she said she would pay me for 2 hours each of those 3 evenings, whether I picked up her child or not, but just so I was there if she needed me to. The mother of these 2 children died about 8 months ago and she has continued to provide after school care for them aswell as a couple of other children. I have continued picking up her child. For the last couple of months, the hours have been erratic, she sometimes doesn't let me know until the end of the school day whether she needs her child picked up, other times she has arranged me for me to collect her and she's been invited to someones for tea and she has forgotten to tell me. Her payments were getting later and later too. Then another mum informed me that my 'friend' had asked her to start collecting her child because she couldn't really afford the cost of child care. This mum told me and I gave my 'friend' a weeks noticed. She was really put out and said that she was going to really with struggle with child care and could I continue for the week. I agreed. The following day she paid me what she owed by cheque. This was last week and today I have found that the cheque she gave me has bounced. We have no contract so I do not have a leg to stand on. I really wanted to help her out especially as at the start the situation she was in with these 2 children was so awful. She has really taken the piss and is going out of her way to avoid me. I think what annoys me the most is the fact that if I hadn't given her notice she would have continued to string me along.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
PrincessScrumpy · 02/02/2011 17:11

Why did you cancel the arrangement with a week's noticed based on a rumour you heard from someone else? I think I'd be annoyed if I were your friend - maybe I read your thread wrong.

Lulumaam · 02/02/2011 17:16

I think you owed it to her that you had a proper conversation with her about the issues rather than give her notice based on what another friend said. sounds a bit juvenile really.

I think legally you should have been registered as a c,m to give regular care to another child in your own home, but i might be incorrect

you were wrong to not give her more notice based on hearsay and she was wrong to bounce a cheque on you

she's not taken the piss, you were happy with the arrangement surely, until the other friend butted in and if you weren't, you should have spoken to her directly and given her a decent amount of time to sort alternative childcare

I am not sure why though once the mother passed away, she could not have her own child after school

sounds like decent communication would have resolved everything

Lulumaam · 02/02/2011 17:16

after 14 months, one weeks notice is very poor

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 02/02/2011 18:21

I never take on anyones children if i am their friend. I personally think it is very difficult to mix 'friends' and business.

But i think you really should have had a contract with her. And i'm sure u know to od that in future!!

thebody · 02/02/2011 18:38

yes agree with yoy Polly.. would never mind for a friend or relative.. like to keep it businesslike..

am sorry she bounced a cheque on you, thats so annoying but it could be a simple mistake on her part rather than something sinister..

like the others have allready said I think you were hasty to give her notice on heresay..

never heard of a cm using another cm to mind her own child either.. seems a bit odd to me..

are you both registered??

if I were you I would apologise to her for not giving her more notice and then she should pay you what she owes ..

but tbh she has as much right to be pissed off as you seem to be..

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