Please help me choose the best CM - shortlist of 3

[briskwalk]

Hi all, we've managed to create a shortlist of minders for our DD when I go back to work. The trouble is we're now having problems narrowing it down any further. Please could you have a look at the following and tell me which one you would go for on paper. I particularly need advice regarding the other mix of children and mindees they have and how that would impact on my DD.

Any other tips very welcome. Many thanks!

1. New to minding and not inspected yet. Has 2 DCs - 6 and 11. Minds 2 yr old and 2 after schoolers. Limited toys. Goes to playgroups. Interacted well with my DC on meeting.

1. Experienced minder. Has 3 DCs - 3mths, 5yrs and 10yrs. Minds 2 after schoolers. Lots of toys. Nice house and garden. Goes to lots of playgroups. Didn't interact much with DD on meeting but good references.

1. New to minding and not inspected yet. Has 2 DCs 18mths and 7yrs. Minds 2 yr old part time. Goes to playgroups and out and about lots. Not sure about toy resources - need to find out. Interacted well with DD on meeting.

Go with your gut instinct

how old is your DD?

For an eg I have 2 boys, 11 and 9, I mind variously, a baby, an 18 month old, 1 2yr old 2x 3 yr olds and a six year old (not all at the same time hahah)

DD is 10 mths - should have said!

if you and your dd liked them each equally, what about other aspects? how close are they to you geographically? do they pick up from the school you hope dd will go to? what back up do they have for e.g. for if their own dc are poorly? will you be able to get there in snow?
My cm has two young adults and a 13 ds and as he gets older i'm not always sure about his influence- did you meet the cms own dc? and what did you make of them, their behaviour, their interation with your dd etc?
Not much help, but food for thought I hope!!

right minder #2 should have a variation to look after 2 under 1's if you are going to start there before DD's first birthday

minder #1 - only 1 other under-school-age child so not much opportunity for DD to make friends her own age BUT more attention from the minder is a plus, and being exposed to a range of ages is great for all the children; when starting out most minders spend their £££ on safety equipment, stairgates, door locks etc, and she will build up stocks as her business progresses

minder #3 - sounds a good fit, again as she's new she may have limited toys which will increase as she gains experience and money

HTH

Children don't need toys... babies like shiney objects and things that make a noise. A saucepan with a wooden spoon therefore is ideal. A small plastic bottle filled with coloured water with glitter added is also good.

Later on things like jigsaws can be often obtained from charity shops, car boot sales at low cost. So a childminder starting out may well not have that many things but after a few months may well have more variety of things.

#1 and #3 are both sounding quite a good fit.

#2 there are concerns: interaction, also query over if they are within their certificate ratio having two under 1's.

I would go back and visit all three again. Never choose childcare after just one visit. Most decent jobs will demand 2 interviews. How much more important to make at least 2 visits to anyone you're hoping to leave your precious baby with. Another visit will tell you far more than any of us can based on just a couple of lines.

One other thing to consider is that the children currently minded will not necessarily be the same ones forever and again - families move, change job etc. I don't think you should choose a childminder based on which children they have at the moment.

Just from what you've written I'd go for 1 or 3, 2 didn't take an interet in your dd and goes to lots of playgroups, hmm is that an excuse to drink coffee whilst children are left to their own devices, too many playgroups and not interacting on visit would put me off.

But it is definately just a feeling, who did you feel was the best fit.

i wouldnt send my baby to a minder with her own 3 month old,her baby will always come first and will become increasingly more demanding over the following year -teething,off ill etc! also agree that the one who goes to lots of playgroups prob wont interact well with your child,its a difficult one!

Keep in mind that this time of year it can be hard to find things for children to do outside of the home, whilst keeping them reasonably warm. So ask about what things they do in the Summer. What outings they do.

Look at other factors... how far is it to #1 and #3? Look further ahead... Do they both collect from the local infant/primary school? (No guarantee these days that your child would get into the local school but worth assuming they will at this point in time.)

I'd say either 1 or 3 and erring towards 3 but as others have said there are other factors like whether they will do pick ups/drop offs at your local school or maybe a preschool etc. The other mindees they have won't necessarily make a difference. Obviously if they have or mind school aged children then your DD will being doing school runs but mindees change relatively often for all sorts of reasons so I wouldn't worry too much about it unless they would need a variation (like minder 2) or 2 1 year olds which would make 3 under 2 taking up all their early years spaces and be quite challenging (alothough not necessarily a deal-breaker).

Another think to consider is that even if they're new to minding they may have had other childcare jobs before which would make a difference. You might want to ask how long they plan to mind for and what they did beforehand. If one of them says that it's just until her DC are at school then it might not be ideal if you want to keep the same minder until your DD doesn't need anyone any more.

vicki2010 - I think that's a bit unfair. When my ds2 was 10 wks old I started back and as well as ds2, I had an 8 month old mindee, 17 month old and 18 month old plus ds1 (5) and mindee after school (4). My ds2 most certainly did NOT always come first (in fact you'll find a lot of cms children come last). Yes, if he needed feeding then I'd feed him but I could carry on dealing with most other things whilst he was B/F. I'm not saying that this doesn't happen but to say 'they will' come first is unfair unless you know the CM.

I'd go with the third one. 2 children, less likely to need time off than 3 children.

I think Vicki is being unfair, too. I took children back when DD was 2 weeks old. It never fails to amaze me that people are perfectly happy to leave their babies with us (being fully trained and experienced as we are) but the minute it's our own babies, they suddenly decide we can't manage!

Nor do I think it's fair to accuse a childminder of drinking lots of coffee and leaving the kids to their own devices just because she attends lots of playgroups. My experience is that the childminders who ignore their kids won't attend more than playgroup a week (and I'm not saying that childminders who only attend one group are lazy, either). Have you any idea how much effort it takes to get them all ready?

I take my kids to lots of playgroups: a wide variety of different groups offering different experiences. Three of them I run or co-run myself. Drinking coffee and lazing? I wish!!

agree with Tanith.. cms children often come last not first I am afraid.. guilty of that one myself!!

playgroups.. as Nannynick says its hard to expend energy in the cold..

summer is lovely for parks and picnics but this time of year its soft play or toddler groups to burn off the energy.. unless you prefer your cm to stay in all day and the kids to watch ceebeebies!!!

I have never yet finished a coffee at toddler groups and I dont chat to other cms all that much either too busy with the mindees..

it seems to me that you havnt yet met the right cm for you.. if so you would know which one to choose...

I agree with thebody's last line

it seems to me that you havnt yet met the right cm for you.. if so you would know which one to choose...

I agree with that it's a gut feeling, you know when you've found the one

I am a child minder and have been since my youngest was 3 years old! (no way would have managed before that with him being a baby!!)
I dont think its being unfair to say their child will always come first, perhaps i worded it slightly wrong and really meant that having a baby of their own being so young they are very dependent and if they need feeding they need feeding! im not saying she wouldn't manage i just dont think it would be fair on your child at 10 months(which is very young and equally needy) to have to perhaps have to 'wait' more often then not if you can avoid it!
Im sure the child minder would be fine but the op was asking opinion on 3 childminders with 3 different situations and one having such a small baby would be reason enough for me to pick one who doesn't! purely so my child had the opportunity of one to one care and not coming second/third to a very young baby!!after all thats what your paying for isnt it?

But Vicki, that's the case with any other baby of this age. Why is it so very different just because it's the childminder's own baby?

Parents generally aren't paying for one to one care with a childminder: they need a nanny if that's what they're after. They're paying for a home environment and that sometimes includes very young babies. How do you imagine mothers of twins cope?

Totally agree with Tanith. And please don't judge other CMs based on how YOU'D cope/not cope. And I can give one very positive spin on the closeness of ages.......the 4 babies I mentioned earlier may well have all been very young but they are now 2 and half, 3, and a couple nearly 4 years old and they are SOOOOO CLOSE, they are like the best of friends!!! :)

im not actually judging other childminders i am simply expressing my opinion which is what was asked?? everone is different and the op asked our opinions on the three childminders sorry looneytune if its not the same as yours and sorry tanith if its not the same as yours!!

All opinions very welcome! Thanks so far. Still confused though!

Vicki - I wouldn't have minded if you worded it as you 'opinion', it's the fact you said:

'her baby will always come first and will become increasingly more demanding'

Although I don't agree with your next comment here, at least you said 'prob' which is not saying they will:

'also agree that the one who goes to lots of playgroups prob wont interact well with your child'

go with ur gut! always a good one, regardless of anykids of their own, you actually find that most minders treat children they mind like their own - if that makes sence, a bond is formed and they care as well for them as they do their own.
The minders may go to lots of playgroups as that is what the children enjoy most, interacting with their wider field of freinds.
Like i say use ur gut instinct there maybe one u warmed to more than the others