Childminders Club - Television

[karen23]

Hiya at the moment I only have 2 mindees (Siblings nearly 2 and nearly 3) in the morning, now after discussing it with the parents we came to an arrangement where they watch peppa pig (about 10 mintutes) after breakfast/before the school run and then balamory at 12 (They get picked up straight after) Apart from this the tv is never on during the day and my dd (3) only watches half an hour before tea after doing her reading from school and half an hour after tea before her bath and this suits everyone fine.

My problem is I had someone come round asking me to take her son (5) full time (School run term time and full time holidays) now when I mentioned about the sort of activities we do she said "Oh don't bother just put him infront of the tv" I explained when we have the tv on and that this wouldn't be approriate and she turned round and said "I'm the one paying I decide what my child does" I know should respect the parents wishes but there is no way I can do this for her.

Am I being unreasonable? I feel the tv time I already do is more than enough and if I do as she asks the tv will be on 7.30-8.30 then 3.30-5.30 and in the holidays it will be 7.30-5.30. She's coming back on Thursday and I really don't know how to handle it. Sorry it's so long has anyone got any sort of advice?

Karen

My main concern here is that if she's making these demands and sounding so unreasonable now, will your professional relationship last?

Either way, if you want (or need financially) to have this boy, maybe either compromise by having a tv in another room (ie we have a lounge the kids play in, and a dining room we store the toys and do arts in) which is on more, or alternatively have it on but low/zero volume, and encourage him to do activities with you. Poor kid probably needs it.

Just speak to her and say if she demands a tv on then you will, but why wouldn't she be happy with you engaging him in other activities?

We have the tv in the lounge but spend most of the time in the backroom, I sound really anti-tv here but I'm not I just want the children to play and be happy in my care. I might suggest that the tv will go on after dinner that way the 2 younger ones have gone and my dd can go and play in her room if she doesn't want to watch the tv but then I'm not spending time with her which is why I chose to do this. I never thought about how the professional relationship will be and if I do give in now what other demands could she put on me. I don't really need this boy financially it's just I don't like letting people down. I plan really good activities and a wide variety and I don't understand why she's so against it. The daft thing is a friend of mine took her child out of the care of a local childminder cos thats all she did with the children

I certainly would not take on the child if that is the mothers view. She sounds like she would change the group dynamic and make you unhappy. What else is she going to make demands on?.

Yes she is paying for your care but you have to think of the other and your own children and ofsted's views. Do you really want to comprimise of your views for the sake of her?

You have to think of the other children/parents who you already have contracts with. Do you want to please her for the sake of the others? Ie if you please her you might loose the others?

Children this age should watch i think about 2 hrs at day at a very maximum. I cant remember who said this and none for under 2's.

I personally would get a bad feeling about this.

I'm gobsmacked that a parent would want their child to watch that much TV if she's paying you to care for him!! Does the mum realise that you would actually organise activities for him to do instead?

Until recently, I had older toddlers full-time, so we might have 15 minutes of something occasionally. I certainly wouldn't do it now as I'm back to having babies (so definitely no TV!)

i would also say yes you are paying but this is my company and i shall do as i like/what is best for the kids.

I might watch a video/dvd once a week and the parents are ok about. I do think that tv can be a good thing and the children can learn alot if you pick the right programmes but not as much as she wants.

Thanks for all the replies I think I knew I wasn't being unreasonable I just needed other people telling me. Some of the childminders in my area do just put the children in front of the tv and these are the ones people talk about, some agree others don't. Maybe this is why she expected me to do it to, I actually enjoy the planning and the activities we do (I think sometimes more than the children!) I'm gonna tell her she needs to find someone else and just hope she doesn't bad mouth me and put of future parents.

Message withdrawn

I can see a new thread starting in a few weeks from a parent ... "I'm really unhappy about the amount of TV my child is allowed to watch at childminders. Shouldn't she be organising some games and activities instead? That's what I pay her for ..."

Maybe the mum would change her mind when she realises how much better you would be than other minders using TV??

Well she came yesterday and I explained that I couldn't have the tv on as much as she wanted and she seemed to be coming round to the idea. (After seeing the children playing)

Then she asked me to provide fanta for her children and I explained that my policy on food and drink was that I do not provide carbonated drinks (She already knew this as she went away with a copy of my menus and policies to look at) and if she wanted her son to have it then she would have to provide it herself

Anyway she said "What will ofsted think of all this?" so I told her the phone number was on show next to my certificate. She went to look but I don't know if she took the number or my registration number or not.

Some people!

TBH as a mother who uses a CM In your shoes I would tell her to P'off Politely of course. I maybe mistaken but isn't it government guidelines which mean all fizzy drinks are not to be allowed at schools? Now what WOULD she think of that. If she wants you as a childminder she HAS to adhere to YOUR rules. That is what I would expect to do. If she is happy to do so then fine, otherwise don't touch her with a barge pole

you should have told her son would be so busy he would not want the tv on,i look after 8yr old whos mums has problem with all her dd wants to do is watch tv,but she is an only child and when she comes here she is far to busy playing with my children.

I am thinking this woman is trouble and you may regret saying you will take her on iyswim

Karen - do you mean that she thought OFSTED wouldn't be impressed that she would have to provide her own Fanta rather than you supplying it??!

Would love to see the complaint on your file "child not allowed to watch TV all day whilst drinking fizzy tooth-rot" - gosh, you'd never get any business ever again!

"I'm the one paying I decide what my child does"
If she were your employer that might be true - shes not and she won't be the only one paying you.

My answer is that I have to accommodate the needs of ALL the children in my care and take into account the wishes of ALL their parents - this means I cannot offer a place to a child whose needs conflict with those already in my care.

I was once asked to look after a child whose mum didn't want him taken out of doors. (no medical condition prompting request & my assurances about suitable clothing/protection for poor weather went unheard). After a long conversation I said that I felt my service wasn't what she was looking for and she said she would simply find a minder who doesn't do a school r

Ayla - was child allowed to play in garden? Go for a walk? Anything?