Am I just getting irrationally wound up?

[Saltire]

Not the usual mindees you'll all be pleased to know.
I mind another child a few hours a week. it's usually 3 hours a day, soemtimes 1 day sometimes all. Anyway, the parents both came to teh door yesterday. "We'd like to talk to you" they said.

They pointed out that they don't like the following things whilst I am looking after their child
1 - Me knocking on other peoples doors when she is with me
2 - me not taking her juice cup and bag to mums and tots
3 - People in the house when their child is there.

Now let me tell you what has happened to make them say this.
1 - The dad saw me knocking on the door of a neighbour when I had their child with me. She and other mindee were in the double buggy on neighbours path. he said that he wasn't happy that I didn't have a hold of the buggy. It was about 2/3 feet away from me because I couldn't get it any closer whilst I knocked.

2 - Both mindees ahve rather big bags that come with them every day. So when we go out I put nappies and wipes, a cup of juice for each child, snacks etc into a bag of my own so that I am only lugging one bag around. The dad had seen me on the way to mums and tots without the childs bag so decided (without asking me first) that I wa staking the child to all these activities without a drink

3 - Last monday the mindee got dropped off. The little boy, mindee2 twas already here. Also int e house were DH and a neighbour. She was sitting having a coffee, she was in the house because she was following DH when he took car to garage and then giving him a lift home.

They have said that they don't want me to knock on other mums when i ahve the daughter with me
They don't want other people in my house either.
I don't see that I have done anything wrong, but today, I felt as if the parents were watching me, the dad was off work today, and as I walked down the street I thought "is he there watching out the window.
Then i felt I was having to over explain things too. We went to toddlers, then came home and had a snack and a drink. The child put the cup down but I couldn't find it. So then we went to nursery to collect mindee 1, and as we got back the dad was waiting on doorstep. I started going into overdrive explaining that we'd been to toddlers and ahd come home and that was why there was no bag, cup etc.

Am I just over reacting?

You get all the good parents don't you!

I'd be peeved off too.

1. how do they know that you weren't knocking on your neighbours door to recover a parcel, or report a gas leak?

2. I used to do this with my changing bags. Its certainly not unusual for a minder to condense everything into one bag.

3. she wasn't your visitor, she was your DH's. Regardless, she could have been a prospective parent coming to have a look around. Or an Ofsted inspector!

They are being totally unreasonable by jumping to conclusions this way. Unfortunately I have no reasonable suggestion to counter the issue. Sorry.

Agreeing with pink canary here!
I always decant things into another bag, not even a changing bag , I have a massive handbag instead, so they'd love me :o
Try not to tie yourself up in knots over this, you have done nothing wrong.

Ditto Pink, its ridiculous, personally I would explain that you cannot ever rule out point 1 & 3, FGS its your home, I very rarely have people around but even other parents sometimes stop for an informal chat, but children are always my main concern.

Exactly the same with the bag, my bag has all the emergency contacts, emergency first aid kit, the odd book and toy, and a million just in case bits, so I just amalgamate them all together.

You could write a formal reply to their concerns to show you have taken them seriously, as it sounds like you may need to protect yourself, if they are very picky. That you ensure their child is always your first concern, and would never put them at risk, but you would be unable to reasonably promise no one would ever be in your house when their child might be there, and that knocking on someone's door could be for a variety of reasons, even just checking a poorly neighbour is ok.

Or....

Ignore them good luck

YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG sorry but had to shout lol
i put all things together in one bag, nappies, spare pants, cups and wipes, i cant carry 3 different bags and juggle 3 different children (would they have one bag per each child)!!
Also they choose a childminding setting as its a home from home, and visitors do occur, do you have a visitors policy they have signed? perhaps provide a copy of this.
Also i agree with other comments, there are times you may need to knock on a door!!
They are being very unreasonable, making you feel like a naughty school girl, be strong with them as dad sounds like a domaneering character

oh dear god - do you have one nice parent?

1.obviously you should have left the children home alone, how silly of you to take them with you to see a neighbour

silly dad

1. much easier to put everything in one bag

1. you are a cm mother - you will have people in your house

1. ignore all the above :)

All the things he complained about are the precise reasons I chose to have a CM when my ds was younger!
You're doing NORMAL stuff with them, that parents would do if they were at home with them-having people round, getting out and about. My CM used to take ds to see her granny-which I thought was brilliant-as it's the kind of thing I'd have been doing had I not been at work.
Some parents are such muppets when it comes to childcare!

You poor thing, Saltire! I've read a few of your threads, but not commented that often, you really do have some odd parents!

Just tell them, you don't run a nursery. You are a CM - these things come with being a CM. If they're not happy, give them the name of a local nursery and get rid of these whingeing parents.

(I know, I know, easier said than done!!! Everyone needs to earn an income!!!)

ffs saltire.. where the hell do you get these loons from!!!

firstly its your house and as such its up to you who comes through the door!! my teens have friends round while I am minding.. my dh has clients round sometimes and as long as I am taking care of the children as I always do its none of the parents bloody business..

who he hell do they think they are talking to you like that??

of course no cm lugs all the kids bags round with them on outings.. most bring loads of stuff and you only need drink, fruit, nappies and wipes for most trips!!

saltire really grow a pair and tell them exactly what a cm is all about!!

you are a business woman...

stand up for yourself!!!

they either accept your rules or they take the child elsewhere!!!

you need to sack them as you feel a lack of ttrust

point out that each of their assumptions are erroneous in a letter

then sack them

You should write a letter (under the guise that ofsted require complaints responses to be in writing or some such bollocks) informing them that you have considered all of their concerns (list each one, and your honest response to these) but feel that you can't honour them, explaining why. Put that it would be with great regret on your part but that if they do decide to go elsewhere then it is their perogative.

Don't agree to their requests as presumably you would be agreeing to things that you can't make sure of.. then if they 'caught you' doing them they'd have every right to be pissed off.

Sorry, meant to say a letter may be easier for you than to have to say it to their face. Plus its good for your records of parent relationships etc when ofsted comes up.

yes agree letter a great idea..

Saltire that's outrageous! My DS1 & DS2 were looked after by a CM when I was at college, and everything that they are complaining about was what I wanted her to do with mine!

That's the whole point of a CM - as chitchatingagain says, what you are doing is what normal parents do all the time.

You socialise, you take one bag as more is not practical, people come to and from your house etc etc.

If they are not happy, then as others have said, put it in writing and sack them.

BTW - is the DC their PFB?