I have a dilemma

[AderynMelyn]

My son started going to our CM when he was 6 months old (5 months before she became officially registered)as she is a friend of the family.

Everything was working well before then and I realised at the time that it wouldn't last! She has now joined a CM group and has added a contract. I assume the contract is the same for everyone - if my child is ill, I pay, if she is ill I don't?

Anyway, my dilemma is my son has a runny nose - no other symptoms at all. He is still running around, doesn''t appear to have anything else wrong with him. However, my CM is refusing to have him incase he has swine flu!! I obviously work and have to take him with me tomorrow. I did ask if it would be possible to have a refund for tomorrow then as I do not feel he is ill and was told that it was in the contract that if he was ill, I'd have to pay! I don't feel that he is ill - as I said, he is running all over the placem, etc and appears fine in himself.

She did say he had been grumpy today...but he seems to be constantly grumpy when he goes now. For some reason, they have started going to CM groups every morning (from 9-12) and I'm not sure if he is a little fed up with it. Before Christmas, they were going once a week and he wasn't grumpy then.

I'm not sure what to do now. I hate confrontation and tend to shut up even though I've been trying to hint that maybe he is fed up/tired at going to these groups every day.

Am I being unreasonable?

I visited a day nursery today. It seemed like every child in there had a runny nose!

As I Childminder I have never excluded for a runny nose. Can I ask if it's clear or a yellowy green? If it's an infection it usually has some colour to it. Otherwise it might just be allergies.

It sounds like your child might be overtired if he's consistently grumpy. The extra playgroups would support this theory. However, it could also be that your child is a little run down and needs extra sleep to get over it.

It is unreasonable for her to exclude because "it might be swine flu". She had chosen a career in Childcare. Exposure to illness is a proffessional hazard. (from a Childminder who HAS had swine flu).

You know your own child and whether they're ill or not.

Btw it is an absolute minefield Childminding for friends and vice versa. If she is a valued friend you might be better finding another Childminder.

I am a CM. I wouldn't exclude for a runny nose, but if I had any doubts, I might send a parent to the GP/Pharmacist for a checkup before taking a child. I have done this a couple of times and once took the child back within an hour of sending them for a check. It is possible she has just had an update about swine flu where they were all given a scare about it.

Taking him out an about in the morning might be a good thing, if he is getting plenty of variety, stimulation and attention, but he will need a good rest/sleep in the afternoon if he has worked hard all morning.

Thanks both. I did take him to the Doctor only to be told his ears, throat and chest were clear and most children have a runny nose every other week! I did phone my CM this afternoon to say that the Doctor had given him the all clear, only to be told that she had kept her child off school as she had a high temp and wasn't well!! How annoying?! I am hoping for a refund for the day now as I honestly don't think its fair! He was cancelled last night but she has told me she'll let me know in the morning if her child is unwell or not!
I did also say that maybe he was fed up with groups every day as he does like to interact with adults too, not just children. She said he has plenty of interaction with her in the afternoon! Not sure how when he sleeps most of the afternoon!
Sorry, am still annoyed about it! I have found it very frustrating and I am serioulsy fed up with the hassle.

If i excluded my mindees whenever they had a runny nose i would hardly work all winter!! If they are otherwise well (no high temp etc) then i take them.

I take my mindees out to groups 3 times per week, this works well for us, gives us time to do lots of stuff at home as well as giving mindees chance to socialise in different surroundings.If you cant discuss how you feel your little one is not coping with going out so much with your childminder then i dont think they are the right one for you. I would hope that all of my mindees parents would be able to discuss anything to do with their care with me.

Sounds as though she excluded your DS so that she could still get paid, because if she said she wasn't available due to her DS being ill she wouldn't get paid. I'd start looking for another CM TBH.

Definitely get another cm. Asap. Give notice when you find one.

I am actually going to see another one on Friday as I have heard she does lots of activities with the children, takes them on trips (to beach, etc) not just to groups.

I don't mind him attending groups at all, i do think its important for his development as its good to interact with other children, etc.
My problem is that I know all the CM sit and chat while the children play and only interact with them when they are naughty! I know as it has been in his book a few times that he was put in the corner as he had a bit of a fight with another child over a toy! he has however come home with scratches, bruises and a bite mark and nothing was mentioned!! It's all so frustrating! I'd love to stay home and look after himself, but unfortunately, I'm not so lucky!!

Well my CM takes my 2 DSs to a group. There they play with toys, do some craft activities, they have story time, singing, etc. I know she interacts with them and doesn't just sit on the side. You just need to keep looking for a good one (CM and playgroup!).

But, having said that, sometimes children do need a bit of time without adult interaction in order to learn how to get along with other children and to learn how to play on their own. But it just needs to be in measured doses, not all day.

I completely agree with him going to a group, I think its important that he has free play and time to interect with other children. I just don't agree with it being for 3 hours, 3 mornings a week when he is there.
I have heard from 2 different people that have run activity sessions there that the CM sit, have coffee and a chat and only interact with the children if they are fighting or moaning! Not the best impression ever! I don't think they actually have a story time, singing session or activities. I did ask what they did as I said I thought he may be bored and was told he gets to play with other toys and children. No mention of activites, etc.