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Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

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Original poster

baby at nursery

18 replies

dmo · 18/01/2011 14:11

ok the story i know:

i started to look after 2yr old child in October and her 4yr old sister before and after school.

my cm friend has their sister who was born in July (so 6mths old now) childrens mum has been in hospital since July (not sure whats up but thats not the story)

cm friend can only take baby on tuesday and thursday because of pram space etc so dad got baby into a nursery on monday and friday.

anyway baby went to nusery on friday at 7.15am as normal, baby does not have her own ppeg yet so dad gave nursery nurse bottle as baby was due a feed and hung bag up as normal with bottles, milk and nappies etc and off to work he went.

in the meantime nursey fills up with children and children hang their coats etc on pegs over babys bag

4pm dad gets a call to pick baby up as she is screaming due to not being fed since 7.30am bottle due to dad not leaving milk, bottles or nappies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THAT POOR POOR CHILD

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aceandskill · 18/01/2011 14:21

4pm? surely that's neglect on the part of the nursery. If they thought there was no milk for the baby surely they should have rung earlier?

looneytune · 18/01/2011 14:22

OMG :( Sadly, I'm not too shocked as every single person I've ever met who's worked in a nursery has told me many stories which made me think no wonder they'd never use one.

Poor baby though :( Why on earth didn't they phone dad before lunchtime (when surely they'd be on a bottle at some point?!) and tell him to come and supply bottles - he could then have informed them he had!!! Actually, shouldn't these have been put in a special storage place and no on a peg??? God that poor baby must have been so bloomin hungry!!! :(

Booh · 18/01/2011 14:29

Its so so so so sad.

Having worked in two nurseries and only last a few weeks in both, I can totally see this happening.

Poor baby

Original poster

dmo · 18/01/2011 14:39

thats what i said why not call at lunch time

not sure if nappy had been changed eirther dad never said

the 2yr old i have used to go to the same nursery but screamed whenever she saw the nursery and wouldnt even go to pick her older sister up from there

nursery said that 2yr old got upset as they used a hoover but now i am about that

i too have worked in nurserys but no where i have ever worked have EVER stavred a baby i am just too sad and cross for words

anyway we have borrowed a triple pram so my cm friend is having the baby on monday and fridays now

OP posts:

ohnoshedittant · 18/01/2011 19:00

That's terrible! What with this and the nursery thread over in AIBU I feel really sorry for parents who have to use a nursery...it must worry them!

That's good news about your friend being able to have the baby now dmo

juneybean · 18/01/2011 19:05

That's awful, I'm a nanny/nursery nurse and I can't say it surprises me but how could you forget to feed her?! As that's clearly what happened if they only realised at 4pm there wasn't any milk.

fizzpops · 18/01/2011 19:18

That is an awful story, but ohnoshedittant to imagine that every nursery is potentially like this is a bit of a stretch.

My DD goes to a nursery and has done since she was 8 months old and I have never worried about her well being as they have never given me any reason to.

This story would make me worry about that particular nursery but it is no different to a story about an irresponsible childminder (of which I have seen plenty on mn).

The issue is poor childcare the context is irrelevant.

new2cm · 19/01/2011 10:51

This is wrong.

I agree with aceandskill. How do they get away with it?

ohnoshedittant · 19/01/2011 12:26

fizzpops I didn't say every nursery was like this, but I do think every nursery has the potential to make a massive error...and to not have any concern that they might is a bit naive I think.

FWIW I worked in a nursery. It was full, with a waiting list. OFSTED rated good. Many parents had more than one child go through from baby to pre-school, so were obviously happy with it. It was a TERRIBLE nursery. It can be difficult to tell a good nursery from a bad one.

not1not2 · 19/01/2011 12:41

so oh no waht was terrible about it?
how could parents have told it was terrible? what wquestions should they ask?

fizzpops · 19/01/2011 12:48

I know that you weren't talking about every nursery but it came across as a massive generalisation about all nurseries.

I felt I had to stick up for some nurseries. As a parent who 'has to use a nursery' please don't feel sorry for me, I am very happy with my decision and now that DD is talking and fully able to articulate her feelings about going to nursery I feel an added level of confidence.

Neglect is not confined to nurseries - or even to professional chidcare - but parents have to do the best they can to judge an individual childminder or nursery based on whatever means they have available. Some of the things that reassure me my DD is in a 'good' nursery whatever that means to anyone but me are:

Observation - I have seen the staff and the way they behave with and talk to my DD and other children when they were not aware I was there in a lot of cases and I have seen genuine concern and care for those children.

Other parents -I have a lot of friends whose children go to the same nursery and we compare notes and all seem to feel the same way about things.

Feedback from DD - I hear a lot about things that go on during the day from DD that are not necessarily passed on by the carer, usually as they don't have time to detail every little thing, none of it has ever done anything but reinforce my good opinion.

Then there are also the more direct means of gathering information such as ofsted, the nursery itself and speaking to the staff.

The two nursery threads in question were upsetting and worrying but as I said before I have seen similar and worse threads concering childminders.

ohnoshedittant · 19/01/2011 13:47

fizzpops 'please don't feel sorry for me'...ok, I withdraw my sympathies. They still stand for parents who have to use a nursery, when they would rather not, due to lack of other childcare options. Particularly if you've just put your pfb baby in one and then come across several 'terrible nursery' threads. Glad you've found a good nursery where you and your DD are happy.

not1not2 I don't want to go into too much detail about why it was terrible as it can come across as general nursery-bashing, which then leads to a bunfight. PM me if you'd like to know more details. In terms of what questions parents could ask...I don't think there are any that would have exposed what went on there. Having worked in nurseries I wouldn't personally put a child under 2.6/3 in one, I would advise waiting until they can communicate clearly to you and also are confident enough to express their needs to the staff in the nursery.

herhonesty · 19/01/2011 14:42

fizzpops i agree. i know as many horrendous stories about CM and nannies as i do about nurseries. you cant generalise.

Rhian82 · 19/01/2011 14:59

DS goes to a wonderful nursery, and I completely and totally trust the staff with his care.

When he started he was 5.5 months, and I would leave bottles of expressed breast milk (he had taken these plenty of times before from DH etc). On the first couple of days, he refused the bottle from them. They rang me, explained, and asked if I could come in to breastfeed him. I did, twice, and then he settled in and took bottles from them from then on.

The original story is shocking - they should have contacted the parents and explained as soon as it was time for his first feed - the same way my nursery immediately contacted me when they realised they couldn't feed him.

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly · 19/01/2011 17:53

That is such a shame, that poor child. The father needs to be making a formal complaint and involving cc/ofsted as that's disgusting!! Imagine how much pain that baby would have been in.

I would encouarge him DMO to contact CC/ofsted.

Blondeshavemorefun · 20/01/2011 11:43

i cant beleive that a nursery would be that stupid not to look under pegs or call the parents at next meal time, ie 12ish

makes you wonder if they changed the lo as well if couldnt find her nappies

why do you not look after baby if you have older 2 siblings? seems weird to spilt your childcare

i would be making a MAJOR complaint to ofsted and to the nursery

ohnoshedittant · 20/01/2011 12:00

I would guess that dmo is full/already has a baby and couldn't take on the little one as well?

purepurple · 20/01/2011 12:16

Poor baby, they should ahve phoned sooner.
But, I can see what might have happened. Dad hands over bottle to nn, who thinks that was all he brought in.
The nursery is at fault for not providing a peg or safe place fro the baby's bag when the baby started. I do wonder, if the bag was named though. Because there could be serious implications for the baby if they just assumed the bag and bottles were hers.
I don't know, maybe they did try to phone. Sometimes it is really difficult getting hold of parents, mobiles are switched off or parents have changed numbers etc.
It is really easy to condemn the nursery as feckless, but there are 2 sides to every story.

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