worried about my nanny - bit long, sorry

[skaen]

I have a nanny for DD 3.5 and DS 18months. She has 2 children of her own - a DD of 6 and a DD of 3.11. She has looked after DD for 2 years and DS since I went back to work after ML.

There are a few things bothering me and I would like the MN verdict on them:

1. I have been back at work for 3 days per week for 4 months. In that time, the nanny has had 3 days off to deal with her children being ill and has called me home because one of mine is ill on a further 3 occasions. There are also fairly regular comments that one of them isn't right and if it were her children she'd be at home.

2. There are fairly regular comments about DD's behaviour. The latest incident was when nanny's DD was on the loo. DD was waiting and had an accident. The nanny was and is cross with my DD about this as she thinks it is deliberate. I think it was an accident. I also think overall, the nanny thinks we don't back her up on DD's behaviour. We do enforce good behaviour but might draw the lines in slightly different places. DD's behaviour is generally fine at home and at playgroup.

3. She seems generally a bit stressed and as though it is all a bit difficult.

I was going to try and have an appraisal sort of thing and go through this but I'm generally not sure how to approach it - particularly issue 2. DD seems completely unconcerned at the moment but it is bothering me a lot.

Have you had a word yet? How did it go?

I had quite a good word with her yesterday.

She has been feeling that we're not backing her up n disclipline - she will tell DD off for something and either DD does the 'my mummy doesn't tell me off' (not usually correct) or she gets the impression I'm making excuses for DD. We're going to try and schedule a more detailed chat about each day into the end of the day so we can follow this up.

On the illness thing, I've said that we expect her to look after them to start off with. We'll have to see how it goes. I think a lot of the 'illness' is bound up in DD's behaviour in that when she is tired and out of sorts she starts claiming illness even when fine and can be a typical 3yo to deal with.

I think the air has cleared and she seems much happier so we'll see how it goes and keep it under review a bit. Thank you all very much for your help and support.

any good nanny worth their salt can look after ill children and know not to call the parents to come home

glad you had a chat, but tbh im not convinced this will be the end of it (sorry)

Well done for having the chat. Hope she feels you can be approached now for any other problems that might arise in the future :)