Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Paid childcare

Discuss everything related to paid childcare here, including childminders, nannies, nurseries and au pairs.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Nanny/ mummy issues

26 replies

lobsters · 06/01/2011 21:33

DH has mentioned a few times that DD calls our nanny "mummy" when I'm not around, and our nanny doesn't correct her. DD is almost 2, and speech has come on leaps and bounds in the last few months. Our nanny's name does end in "-mmy", so it might be a pronounciation issue, but it has sort of upset me.

What is the best way of raising this with the nanny without sounding precious? Is it an issue? I'm feeling a bit upset about it, but I think this is compounded by being back at work after 2 fab weeks with DD and getting a text today from our nanny telling me what a lovely day she is having with DD.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

rusmum · 06/01/2011 21:39

DOES SHE DO IT ALL THE TIME? sorry caps . I am a teacher and the children often call me mummy. It doesnt mean she has replaced you in her affections, just that the nanny (teacher) is fulfilling the caring role. You should be happy your daughter is comfprtable/happy enough to call her mummy x

SlightlyTubbyHali · 06/01/2011 21:41

Honestly I think they all do this. My DD has been known to call me the nanny's name too. And I remember calling my reception class teacher "mummy"... God, that was embarrassing!

euracantha · 06/01/2011 21:47

I am a nanny and I have had children calling me mummy occasionally,I just used to laugh and say Who am I and they would laugh and say my name.I must admit that I would normally just laugh it off.

bigdonna · 06/01/2011 21:50

im acm and i have had lots of kids calling me mamma but it sounds like my name donna.i also nannied for 16yrs and the same happened there!!!!wouldnt worry too much

looneytune · 06/01/2011 22:12

Another childminder who's has this with many mindees. I do correct them most of the time by saying something like 'mummy is at work, i'm looneytune' but very casually and wouldn't always if it happens a lot. I honestly wouldn't worry, totally normal :)

Herecomesthesciencebint · 06/01/2011 22:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CommanderDrool · 06/01/2011 22:22

My kids do this with their favourite aunty. It doesn't mean anything. Really, they know who their mummy is...

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/01/2011 22:34

It doesn't mean anything and if anything means your dd is happy with new nanny

It's almost a force of habit

Very rare for my 3 to say it but if they did I would say who am I and they would shout blondes

cinnamondanish · 06/01/2011 22:37

As a nanny I've always had this and think it is usually just part of the job. I understand that it can be upsetting. It can also be upsetting for parents when children don't want to run into their arms when they come home but might want to stay sitting on the nannies lap or stay playing with her. I always try to encourage the children to at least say hello to their parents if we are in the middle of something and if called mummy it's always corrected and laughed at.
I would be concerned that she isn't correcting your daughter when she says mummy. At that age your child is capable of understanding and a slight slip of the tongue is easily corrected.
Maybe it's just easier for the nanny to ignore it than keep correcting it ?

nannynick · 06/01/2011 23:55

I've been called Mummy I've also been called Daddy.

It's normal... even older children do it on occasion, especially if they are not fully concentrating.

Like Loonytoon, I would say something in a casual way to the child to remind them that I'm not Mummy or Daddy.

eeyore12 · 07/01/2011 09:35

I look after a 6 year old who sometimes calls me mamma, daddy or the name of her other nanny, she just gets confused when calling/excited and forgets who is there.

It is a bit like my mum would get me and my sisters names wrong sometimes.

I usually do say I am not whoever and she laughs and calls me one of the others as a joke instead.

SydneyB · 07/01/2011 09:40

Mine call our nanny 'Mummy' a lot. They also call me by her name a lot! I'm just happy that they're happy to be honest and obviously love our nanny and feel secure with her. Don't sweat it.

anewyear · 07/01/2011 10:19

Hey another childminder here who gets called mummy, mum, daddy once (lol, Im female)

My name also starts with a M and ends with a Y

I guess it could be upsetting to hear someone else rather than youself being called mummy, but as others have it would seem that they have a lovley, close relationship, she is comfortable with her.
Personnally I would be more worried prehaps if she didnt call her anything at all (I had
a mindee like this, never used my name in the year she was with me!) or talk about her
day with Nanny.

wolfhound · 07/01/2011 10:30

My son calls me Daddy sometimes - usually if he's just spent an hour or two with DH and then come over to me. He's called me Grandma a few times in similar circs He doesn't think I'm his dad or grandma, and often he'll giggle when he realises he's said it (I usually reply by saying 'Yes xxxx - where xxxx is his brother's name). I think it's partly just they're used to saying a particular word to get the attention of the adult they're with. I don't think it's a problem, but I can understand why it bothers you. My nanny is similar colouring to me and my DCs and strangers often think she's their mum and say something to her/them about 'Mummy'. The thought of that bothers me a bit, tho I know it's silly. Haven't said that to nanny as it's not her fault. She does correct them. And apparently DS usually giggles his head off at the stranger's stupidity. Don't worry. Children know who their mum is x

Original poster

lobsters · 07/01/2011 12:52

Many thanks for your replies, it's good to know it's normal.

I think the working mum guilt has kicked in big time after Xmas, and I'm really missing her when I'm at work, so this just compounded it for me. And it's still lovely to come home every DD and have DD being pleased to see me (although she does look happy with her nanny)

OP posts:

fridayschild · 07/01/2011 13:33

My DC are 7 and 6 now, still do this. They call me Nanny and DH - I have always taken this all to mean "Adult in charge for the day"

We shared a nanny when DC1 was little and the nanny share child also called me Mummy. It was all he ever heard me referred to as...

Tarenath · 07/01/2011 17:49

My youngest charge used to do this. The first time she said it in front of one of her parents I was so embarressed! None of us saw it as an issue though. She used to call most women "mummy" and most men "daddy". I would always correct her though.

StarExpat · 07/01/2011 20:04

My students call me "mummy" sometimes, but correct themselves after (6-8 yo). I would feel :( if I heard DS do it to our cm, even though we both adore her and I know it's totally normal. So I sympathise.

StarExpat · 07/01/2011 20:06

Sorry meant to add - I wouldn't think of it as an "issue" I would just feel sad and I know I would. But I would know in my head that it's normal and all is ok and he knows I'm his mummy. :) I think it's normal to be a bit uncomfortable or feel a bit of a pang in your heart from it. Just remind yourself after that it's a good thing that they are comfortable and they don't mean anything by it.

PositiveOutlook · 07/01/2011 20:16

My dd would point to men (of any colour) in the street and shout daddy, which was really embarrassing

I would only be concerned if nanny never corrected her

PositiveOutlook · 07/01/2011 20:19

Sorry, meant if your nanny never corrected your dd

Sequins · 07/01/2011 21:18

I think it's probably OK. How old is your DD? Mine is 15 months and when she says, "Mummeeee!" it actually seems to mean "Feed me!" (still bf).

Kewcumber · 07/01/2011 21:20

my mum is often "mummy" and I get "nanny" but to be fiar I once called DS by the cats name do I'm not in any position to throw stones!

SlightlyTubbyHali · 07/01/2011 21:23

Positive - I used to record Grey's Anatomy and watch it in the day. DD1 would stand in front of the TV and talk to "Dada" whenever McDreamy appeared. Any dark-haired man would do...

And then over christmas DH was looking after the kids and when I got home from work DD1 started calling ME "Daddy". I'd be offended but it's kind of funny.

wishingforcrystalball · 07/01/2011 21:44

I remember calling my science teacher 'Mummy' not even 'Mum' and I was in my GCSE year so 15/16 , she replied calling me her daughter's name, and the ribbing I got from my classmates haunts me to this day.

She was nothing like my mother, but was a lovely lady who was nagging me just prior so actually very much like my mother

Flip

1 2