Childcare Options for School Age Kids

[timetomove]

Bit loathe to post this at a time when there is a hostile SAHM/WOHM thread on the go, but here goes.

Both DH and I work (almost) full time.
We have a lovely nanny who has been with us since the children (now 5 and 7) were little. We are now paying over the odds for what we really need (we essentially pay close to full time hours even though during term time (and absent illness) our nanny does not do a full time job. We have been happy to do this to date to give the kids continuity and stability, and to cover the inevitable illnesses that they seem to be particularly prone to when they first start school. It is now getting to the stage, though, that it does feel like a waste of money, and if our current nanny chose to leave we would certainly revist things. So I just wanted to check what the different options are and how they work in practice. I think there was a good thread on this a while ago but I cant find it (although admittedly have not tried that hard).

Seems to me the options are:-

1. continue to pay over the odds so we have a nanny available during holidays and illnesses (i.e. current arrangement). We are ok with this with our current nanny as we have known her for years but am a bit worried that if we were recruiting a new nanny we would not get a high calibre one as they would be bored given amount of free time.

1. Au pair. Involves someone living in which we are not that keen on, but would maybe do for a few years. How many years would be looking at, i.e. at what age is it ok just to leave them to their own devices after school? Certianly not before secondary school, and I imagine even then i would be a bit wary.

1. Find a nanny who is happy with after school hours only (and ideally holidays). How likely is this really?

1. CM.

1. After-school club, and manage holidays somehow with a combination of time off (i do get a generous amount of holiday), holiday club, temp nannies, family, students etc

Illnesses also need to be covered, but we could probably just about manage this by working from home a bit.

Any other options?
Which work best?

The best options IMO are probably a childminder or nanny with own child.

A nanny who brings their own baby/toddler is usually about 25% cheaper.What you could offer for after school hours is a rate without the reduction to allow for the fact you are employing for less hours.You could also get them to come an hour or so earlier to do some of the childrens' washing and tidying their rooms and whatever you want them and they are willing to do.You would then probably need to use a breakfast club at school.

This works well as your children come home and the nanny can do any reading/homework with them,take them to any after school activities and also start bath/bed time.Most children like being able to come home after sschool.The main disadvantage is having to accommodate a baby/toddler but you just have to look at each nanny individually and discuss how this will work.There are lots of past threads on nanny bringing their own child on here if you do a search.My nanny in this position was great and I never had any issues.

In the case of a childminder the main difference I find is because they are not directly employed by you obviously they have to balance your chidrens' needs with their other mindees so they have a bit less flexibility.

Childminder mean you would need to use holiday for sick children although for most children this isn't frequent.Nanny may have some flexibility to look after them depending on the illness and whether her own child is likely to catch it but this is something you would need to discuss with her.

I've done after school club and the holiday cover with family although this obviously relies on your family being happy to do it and willing to commit.It also means possibly as in my case having your inlaws to stay for a month in the summer which is a bit stressful!I wouldn't be keen on using a mix of temp nannies/students just because it takes alot of organisation.

No experience of au pair and like you I'm not keen really particularly because I don't want someone live in.

We have struggled with all the options timetomove- aupair being the worst, nanny being the best. Childminder happy medium if you can cope with minders and their childrens sickness as well as your own and your dc's!

Bump for evening crowd - thanks for responses so far. At what age does childcare cease to be necessary?

There is no set age childcare ceases to be necessary but approx age 11 most children don't need as much care by senior school age.

I am a cm and I do not take sick children who are infectious but I do have a back up childminder if I need to take a day off for sickness my son was recently in hospital for a week but it was not a problem work wise as the children all know the other childminder and her house well and she knows them. It was just a case of a quick phone call to all parents explaining what had happened and telling them what was going to happen.

I do not know of many nannies who work after school only but I imagine there are some who are happy to do this but if they have their own child you may still have same problem regarding sickness.

I have just employed an after-school nanny as I am returning to work in a few weeks. My children are quite a bit older than yours (10 and 12) so not everything applies but my experience has been mixed.

We have previously had nannies and for that reason I was not keen for the boys to now have to go to a childminder (particularly the 12 year old who is in Yr 8!). I would also have struggled to find one who would keep the boys until 6.30-6.45ish which would be the earliest I could get there to collect them.

I didn't want an aupair for many of the same reasons you have given. Theoretically, we have the space but I think going back to work will be stressful enough without having to think about the needs of an aupair as well. I might have been lucky and found one who was very experienced but think I would more likely have found one whom I needed to help with language school, getting used to driving in the UK, homesickness etc. Not what I wanted to be dealing with at the end of the day!

I did not have a huge response to my ads for nannies - or rather, I had a huge response from nannies with their own children. Given the ages of my children, there is NO advantage to me in having another, much younger child in the house so it's not a route I was willing to explore. I was also a bit bemused to see that several nannies were looking for £9-10 per hour net to nanny with their own child. I don't know if that was a starting point and they would be willing to negotiate but that would have been another deal-breaker for me.

Ultimately, I have gone with a student who is studying Child Psychology and who has a small amount of nannying experience from another family. She is providing exactly what we are looking for in terms of being a competent adult in the house which is all I really need with my children's ages.

With regards to what age children can be left, I think having two pushes the age up considerably. My 12 year old makes his way to and from school on the train, is very sensible and would be perfectly fine in the house on his own. However, there is no way that it would be either fair or feasible for him to be responsible for his younger brother. Looking ahead, I cannot even imagine that when ds2 is 12 (and ds1 14) that it will then be a possibility. I'm sure they would be fine occasionally but I think it's too much responsibility to put on a 14 year old every day.

Are there any homework clubs in your area. We have a new one in Hampstead which runs to 6pm and they collect so useful.

Not keen on nannies doing homework with the kids to be honest. Its not easy for them if there are siblings at home since they kids want to play and homework needs a quiet area. Also they can't do homework and look after younger ones at the same time really. If considering a nanny and this is part of their job, then make sure they have good english.

I like afterschool nannies because they can take the kids to afterschool activities and you don't have to live with them.

We have had a few afterschool nannies who are (mainly EU) language/gap year students (found through Gumtree mainly) with some childcare experience, and that's usually worked out OK, however they tend not to stay long.

We've also had another one who has no experience or qualification but wants to go into nannying.

Must say I don't expect nannies to do homework - agree with lorrainelb. But we don't get much homework so it's OK at the moment.

Main problem with afterschool nannies for me is that they may have other commitments in the morning which makes it difficult for them to work full time during school hols, so you might need back up plans. We juggle families, holiday camps and holidays for these. The amount of money you save by not having a full time nanny makes it worth the hassle

On the nannies and homework front if you have a nanny who is competent enough there's no reason why they shouldn't, especially if you have an afterschool nanny who is also a student because they should be more than capable of helping. It's always been in my job description. Equally they should be capable of amusing younger children whilst helping with/listening to to the amount of homework at KS1 and typically by the time an older child is in KS2, younger children are old enough to sit with a book or puzzle or maybe even watch TV. Nannies cope just like parents do!

I'm going to disagree with several posters and say that I DO expect the nanny to get on and help with homework. I don't see why it is any more difficult for dc to concentrate/find a quiet space/stop playing with the nanny than it is when you come in tired and hungry at the end of a day's work. After dinner is too late in our house to be tackling maths!

I would agree with whoever mentioned English competence however. Our last nanny was Hungarian and although she spoke good English, she was definitely reaching the limit of her ability to explain words, pronounce spellings etc when she left 2.5 years ago (DS2 was 8). This time round, I knew I needed a native English speaker. DS1 does his homework with minimal input from us as a) much of it is done on the school intranet and b) I can't understand most of it anyway - sigh! However, I don't think could expect most non-native speakers to be comfortable with all DS2's homework and spellings (circumnavigate, illiterate, etc) now.

We still have FT nanny for DC aged 6 and 7. It is without a doubt a very expensive option! She has university entrance level qualifications and I do expect her to help with home work. At the moment it is spellings, reading, times tables, and science homework on a Wednesday night. Her previous job was also looking after school aged children. She is fluent in English, not mother tongue. On the other hand my last nanny was English mother tongue and could not spell potatoes.

If she leaves I would be in the same position as the op, so this is an interesting thread for me.

Just a thought on au pairs - I know of someone with 3 older DC who really needed someone to keep an eye out for DC3 (year 8 or 9), but not really for DC1. Her last couple of au pairs were recruited on the basis that the au pair spoke only to DC1 and (to a lesser extent) to DC2 in her native tongue, to help with GCSEs/ A levels.

Fridayschild, that is quite a genius idea! When DS1 is in Yr 11, DS2 will be in Yr8 and both will be doing German ('cos they have to do French and either German or Italian). DH is fluent in German, DS1 will be - well, at whatever level he is supposed to be hopefully, DS2 will know about 5 words (sigh) and I can get by in the language. A German aupair would help things along nicely!

Just to clarify, we would love it if we could find a nanny who can help with homework properly. But the choice of candidates has always been limited (IME) and spelling and maths can be difficult for natives and non-natives alike. Probably you'll have to compromise on something and one of the things we've accepted is that we need to supervise homework ourselves.

We have only an afterschool nanny though DD is only just 9. She is a mature student (and foreign) doing a post-grad degree. She collects from after-school club, hears reading (no longer massively relevant) and supervises homework - parents etc are asked not to help, so it's more a case of ensuring it's done - music practice, makes DD's dinner and if we're not home does bedtime routine. She does 3 hours a day, ish.

Maybe I've been lucky but she will do overtime (we try really hard not to abuse this)and take DD out a day in holidays. However we rely very heavily on holiday clubs, summer camps and the like.